Stick-on vents and decals from AutoZone may give you +5 horsepower a piece, but they can’t help you keep control of your vehicle.

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SOURCE: “Authorities believe that drag racing on the southbound side of Interstate 95 Saturday night was the cause of the fatal crash.

State Police said Michael Espinola, 38, was racing southbound when he crossed into oncoming traffic. That’s when his BMW convertible ran head-on into an Acura MDX and a Honda Civic.

A 64-year-old man and woman from North Hampton, New Hampshire were in the Acura. A 43-year-old woman and her 12-year-old passenger were in the Honda. The four were injured in the crash and taken to a local hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.”

I know a lot of little boys have dreams of being an accomplished racecar driver when they grow up; fortunately, the vast majority realize it is not exactly feasible and stick to weekend track days to fulfill their need for speed responsibly. In this instance, a 38-year-old nudnik named Mike Espinola couldn’t keep his lead foot in check in his 1997 BMW 3-Series wannabe M3.

Replica wheels, stick on vents from AutoZone, the bandana, and bottoms that don’t know whether they want to be highwaters or shorts. Definitely looks responsible and not like the kind of nudnik who would street race.

State Police received reports of 2 vehicles drag racing along I-95 in Boxford Saturday evening shortly before the crash. Mike lost control of his 20-year-old BMW near exit 53, somehow crossed onto the opposite side of the highway, and crashed head-on into not one but TWO vehicles, a Honda and an Acura. In one of those vehicles was a 12-year-old girl. Mike was pronounced dead at the scene, and I gotta tell you – I have not an ounce of sympathy for this guy. I know he’s dead and it’s not the kindest thing to speak ill of those who’ve passed on, but, he could have taken an innocent little girl with her whole life ahead of her with him, along with the three others involved, for no reason other than to try to show some other asshole on the road his dick was bigger by going faster.

Word on the street is, those M Sport stripes add 15 horsepower and plant the front end better than a control arm upgrade.

Of course, now we have the grieving family on TV, in disbelief, screaming “He din du nuffin!” Mike’s stepson, Alec Olson, had a lot to say on the matter:

“He was the kind of guy who would give you his shirt,” Olson said.

He says if his stepfather was racing, he wants to see the evidence.

“If he was racing, who is the person he was racing? You know, what is the license number? What’s the make of the car? What’s the color of the car?  All that, where’s all that” Olson said.

“Personally I don’t think he was racing. But reconstruction, state police. We’ll see what it comes down to,” Olson said.

I can agree with Alec’s sentiment of wanting to know about the other car involved, because that fucking dingleberry should be charged and held responsible for their hand in this. It takes two to tango and they’re just as responsible as Mike is, although Mike paid handsomely for his stupidity – play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Now, about Mike being a good guy…

Looks like he did give someone his shirt after all! This pic screams ‘pillar of the community,’ no?

Turns out, Mike also has quite a history:

Check forgery – seems like he has a penchant for misrepresenting things aside from his car.

And then this gem:

Breaking and entering in the daytime, larceny… stand up guy.

Looks like he used to hang with a bunch of winners, too. Doesn’t look like they’d be the kind of friends to encourage bad behavior.

Nope, not at all.

Mike was always busy posing for the Facebook machine, bragging about his “baller status” what with his ‘replica’ M3, (likely) fake Cuban cigars, bottles of Johnny Walker Blue Label, and his fake Rolex.

Good on you Heather calling this chucklefuck out on his Chinatown Faux-lex. If more people had called him out on his egotistical behavior, maybe he wouldn’t have ended up like a can of creamed corn sprayed across the dash of his retro Ultimate Crashing Machine.

Aside from almost taking innocent lives along with him in his douchecapades, the sad part in this is Mike leaves behind a wife and children because of his selfish, destructive behavior. They will forever be burdened with his loss because he couldn’t fucking control himself (or his car, for that matter) be a decent human being and NOT race on public roadways where innocent people are simply trying to get where they’re going. It’s not like family and friends didn’t see this coming, though. Friends have commented about Mike’s driving “skills” (better said: lack thereof) on Facebook before. It was a pattern with this guy, and no one cared enough to speak up.

Mike was an adult, though, and ultimately, he and only he is responsible for his untimely demise. There is no excuse for reckless behavior when you’re a parent; if you have children you hang it up, you keep yourself safe so you can be there for them, to guide them, to raise them – they rely on you for EVERYTHING. This jackwad caused his family irreparable harm because his delusions of grandeur rendered him too big for his britches and that is unforgivable in my book. I feel for them, just as I feel for the victims in the other vehicles involved. Hopefully, this serves as a reminder to people that you are not invincible, especially when you’re barreling down the road at excessive speeds in a 3,500lb. slab of steel. Slow it down, bros. Save it for the track, that way you can actually have a record of your car being badass as opposed to anecdotes of smoking people between red lights just to fluff your ego.

Have the need for speed but don’t know where to scratch your itch? Find your nearest track here. Drive responsibly, Turtleriders!

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