Top 10 Butthurt Buffalonian Comments Of Patriots Week

For Buffalo fans, this weeks game against the Patriots is their Super Bowl, which means they’ll probably lose. Here are the Top 10 Butthurt Buffalonian Comments Of Patriots Week. 

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For Patriots fans our annual game in Buffalo is just another game. Just going through the motions, collecting an easy win on our way to yet another AFC Championship game. Ho-hum. But to Bills fans, every game against the Patriots is the biggest game in team history. That’s what happens when you have a 2-23 record against a division opponent with Tom Brady at the helm.

But this is the year in Buffalo. Even ask them. A team that hasn’t made the playoffs since 1999 is an unstoppable force of nature because they’re 1-0 and beat the worst defense in the history of the NFL. Sure the Patriots were the last team to play the Colts before the Bills and we beat them 45-7. Sure, the Bills only scored 27 points on the Colts, while we scored 28 points on the Seahawks.

But none of that matters anymore, because the Bills have Tyrod Taylor and Rex Ryan now, and they simply cannot be stopped. Naturally then Bills fans are counting down the minutes until Sunday’s game because they actually think they have a chance. LOL. Hilarious. Honestly, they might win. Who knows? Who cares? It’s a regular season game that ultimately doesn’t matter because we can afford to lose two or three games every year.

But at the end of the day we don’t really care about games like this because we’re trying to figure out who we’re going to annihilate in the AFC Championship game. Win, lose. Doesn’t matter. Probably win though. Just to remind them that even though they have the best team they’ve had since the Jim Kelly era, they are still our bitch and the AFC East goes through New England.

We decided to check out some Bills chatter on the Facebook and Reddit machines, and we’ve put together the Top 10 Butthurt Bills Comments of the week.

10. Tom Brady should die.

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Tom Brady dying is literally the only way the Bills can ever hope to beat us. During the Indy game last week they changed, “We want Brady.” Yea, no shit you want Brady. Because at the end of the day you are counting on a guy named Tyrod Taylor, and all of you would literally kill a man to have Tom Brady put on a Bills uniform for just one game.



9. This guy is so moist for Sunday. 

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Like I said up above. For us this is just another game. For Bills fans they literally can’t sleep all week. We own their brains and always will.



8. Patriots < Hitler. 

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And if you can’t trust Hitler, who can you trust?



7. There will be 65,000 of these guys in Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday. 

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That’s basically your standard conversation with a Buffalo fan in Ralph Wilson stadium. Wasted, incoherent, and multiple references to Tom Brady peeing from his vagina.



6. The Good Ol’ Days. 

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Remember that regular season game against the Patriots that we won 4 years ago, during the same season in which the Patriots made the Super Bowl and we missed the playoffs for the 12th consecutive year? That was so AWESOME!!! LOL.

Just a reminder that last year the Bills beat the Green Bay Packers, who were the top team in the NFC at the time. The win improved them to 8-6, and all they had to do was beat the Raiders, and the Patriots backups in weeks 16 and 17. Things were looking good and Buffalo was gearing up for it’s first playoff game in 15 years. Naturally they lost to the Raiders.


5. We’ve all been there before. 

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Come on man. You’re a Bills fan and you’re admitting Tom Brady has a penis? You must be new here. Either way, this is pretty mean. Many a man has had this happen to them and it literally ruins your whole day.



4. Tom Brady wouldn’t win at all if he didn’t cheat. 

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Tom Brady has a 23-2 record against the Bills (last year’s Week 17 game was a preseason game). He has outscored them 765-417. No “rivalry” in the history of sports has been this one-sided. The Washington Generals put up better fights against the Globetrotters than the Bills have against the Patriots. But yea, must’ve been cheating. That’s the only logical way to explain it.



3. This is just mean. 

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Oh come on man, this is just cruel.



2. This guy has been thinking about this one for a long time. 

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Wow. I’d hate to be chained up in this guy’s basement.



1. Fuck You: An Ode to the Patriots. 

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Reference to peeing while sitting down? Check. Mentioning uggs? Check. Insinuating homosexuality? Check. Imaginary cheating? Check. Blaming inevitable future Patriots success on cheating? Check. Claiming “this is our year” after 1-0 start? Check. This guy is the most Buffalo man who has ever existed.

Honestly, I can’t wait for this game either. You got me Buffalo. I get genuinely bored with watching the Patriots beat the Jets all the time. But beating the Bills is the greatest feeling in the world because it just makes you people angrier. And angry Bills fans are GREAT people watching. Never change Buffalo. Never change.

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8 Comment(s)
  • Billsbills
    September 18, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    You guys cheated so much tho.

  • BlackandWhite
    September 17, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    Hey Buffalo!! How about YOU guys be the champions of the most snowfall next Winter??
    Sounds fair to me.

  • Harold
    September 17, 2015 at 9:46 am

    I am a New Englander who HATES the Pats and cant wait for the day the Pats crash down to the pathetic franchise they were for the first 30 years of their existence. It is glaringly hypocritical to see Pats fans talk about other francihses as pathetic when our parents generation always said that about the Pats until the late 90’s. Everything is cyclical- the Pats day of reckoning is coming. I cannot wait.

    -Vikings fan

  • WormtownorBust
    September 17, 2015 at 9:40 am

    Only a group of delusional fans would think they can win anything with Sexy Rexy as their coach.

  • September 17, 2015 at 3:02 am

    Jesus Christ. I hope we never get owned so proficiently over a what, 15 year period that we become so demoralized that we turn into this sad pathetic sack of bullshit. There aren’t even enough adjectives in the dictionary to describe how sad and pathetic this group of idiots are. And you know for a fact that if the Bills ever do catch lightning in a bottle and find a way to beat a Tom Brady-led Patriots team before he decides he’s dominated this league enough and retires, they will celebrate and act like the last 25 games don’t matter and the only moment that matters is this one now. I suppose I’d try to act that way too if the Patriots were utterly dominated by another player over the course of half my life as a 34 year old, but I don’t know if I will ever understand what that feels like because, Patriots.

    The only people that think Tom Brady is a cheater are stupid people. Very stupid people. What is even more hilarious is how some of them mention Marcell Dareus in the same breathe as calling Tom Brady a cheater. You know, Marcell Dareus, the actual cheater, who gets suspended for actual drug use and not fairy tales.

    • cm
      September 17, 2015 at 5:46 am

      they may catch lightning in a bottle, they may win, the Buffalonians could have a 7 day celebratory circle jerk and really kick the bottle returning into high gear for their inevitable purchase of the replica Jistens ring that is surely coming, not sleep next week

      • cm
        September 17, 2015 at 5:51 am

        But as we all know, the Pats are allotted a few losses in the year usually early on, while they are ‘figuring things out’. Buffalo can and will start off strong and fade down the stretch. I am almost as sorry to the Buffalonians as I am for hitting POST COMMENT above, before I could finish and edit my thought.

    • Harold
      September 17, 2015 at 9:43 am

      Marcell Dareus was suspended for smoking synthetic pot and drag racing. How is that cheating? Please, explain to me what competitive advantage one would gain as a football player via smoking fake weed and drag racing?

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