WTF

Top 10 Memories From The Brockton Fair

 

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Remember the Brockton Fair last year?

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Eight month pregnant chicks ripping butts while a toxic fumes from the demolition derby crash filled the air. Pretty standard at the Brockton Fair. Well this glorious event starts this week and someone posed this conversation starter on the Brockton Hub’s Facebook page:

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Here’s our Top 10 answers

10. That time when all hell broke loose. 

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9. That time a white boy thought he was in a gang. 

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8. That time when the dunk tank clown talked so much shit he needed a police escort. 

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7. That night we all got pepper sprayed because of the carnies. 

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6. That time we had to avoid the magical Brockton Fair rape tunnel. 

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5. That time two horses died in front of everyone and were scooped up by bulldozers. 

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“They were dead.” Downer.

 

4. That time the drunk guy tried to jump into the dunk tank and kick the clown’s ass. 

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3. That time you got jumped by 20 carnies because you were standing up for social justice. 

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2. That time it took less than three minutes to have your car stolen. 

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In all fairness, you were warned.

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1. That time the clown called an 8 year old boy a wigger. 

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Because who hasn’t been called a wigger by a clown at the Brockton Fair? They’re not your friends. We don’t know for sure if all these things actually happened, but if people wrote them on the Internet then they must be true. That’s the law. Plus I’ve been to Brockton a million times to buy weed since I live one town over, I can verify that all of these things very likely happened and no one thought much of it. Just another day in the City of Champions.
 

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19 Comment(s)
  • Rutherford Bea Arthur
    June 30, 2017 at 11:37 am

    A few years ago I watched a video titled, “looks like the fair is back in town”. It featured a dude repeatedly throwing himself into the pavement in front of the bank on Belmont St. I wish I could find it now. I’m finally moving out of Brockganistan (I finished my sentence)… Seriously though, the Brock is like living within the Wild West, lots of stuff going on but lots of little stuff overlooked… which can be sorta relaxing.

  • Babalooey
    June 30, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    Brockton fair? My bad, I thought it was the Gathering of the Juggalos.

  • Reddog
    June 30, 2016 at 10:20 pm

    So why do you live in west tatnuck?

    • wtatnuckgangsta
      July 1, 2016 at 11:23 am

      I don’t. I left over a decade ago.

  • wtatnuckgansta
    June 30, 2016 at 7:08 pm

    I’ve lived in Southern Indiana. Seriously, Massachusetts is more crass and trashy than that. They’ll never ever admit that because Massachusetts also rides on its high fucking horse like it’s the best place on Earth. Ya know what, once you leave that state, it gets better. Mass is a big fish in a small pond. There’s always going to be trash and thugs anywhere you go but nothing will ever beat the huge ego of a Masshole. Fuck that shit. I love the Midwest. People are nice and I can look past some of the trash because they’re genuinely nice people. Somehow, kindness and hospitality outweighs the fucking huge ego of Massachusetts. Have fun at your shitty fair. You can’t even do a derby right but yet, you love “country”. You’re not country. You’re just assholes.

    • Sal Monella
      June 30, 2016 at 8:37 pm

      Yeah, we are assholes. But every time I go to Indiana I double the average I.Q. of the State.

      • wtatnuckgansta
        June 30, 2016 at 10:13 pm

        Boom. There’s that ego. I happen to know of some people in S. Indiana who went to a school ranked higher than WPI there. But, ya know, you have to pull your head out of Mass’s ass to see that. So, smarter AND bonus points on kindness and no huge ego. God, you could not have nailed what I’m getting at any better than you just did.

        • kingsraisins
          July 1, 2016 at 9:13 am

          Dude, I also lived in that part of the country for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, Mass is full of horrible people; but Indiana just blows. Lot’s of Meth. And you know what people do to get jobs in Indiana? Move out of Indiana.

          You know what? I think I’ll go to the cultural mecca that is Indianapolis, said no one, ever.

          • wtatnuckgangsta
            July 1, 2016 at 11:25 am

            I’d still take it over the attitude problem in Mass. Everything is a fight in Mass. EVERYTHING. It’s redneck trailer trash cat fights but nastier. I come back to remind myself not to move back and visit this shitshow to remind myself how high strung Massholes are.

          • wtatnuckgangsta
            July 1, 2016 at 11:33 am

            Also I don’t know a single unemployed person in Indiana yet every broad I knew in Mass was living off a boyfriend or husband even if they had a college degree. Most people I know in Indiana work at the colleges. There’s jobs if you’re not some meathead who doesn’t know how to type up a resume. The problem is, Massholes only see the southerners living off the government, which Indiana started to cut back on. And trust me, I’d take meth any day over the friggin heroin problem in Mass right now. From afar, and away from Mass new sources, the heroine is much more visible than anything good coming out or your state. Plus, nobody appreciates the Masshole personality outside of Mass. Nobody. The accent alone is cringe-worthy.

  • Bill P.
    June 30, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    All of Brockton’s problem could be solved at midnight on the fourth of July by simply dropping a small atomic bomb on the Brockton fair.

  • John
    June 30, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Worcester needs a Brockton fair. Just so we can laugh at the creatures that show up.

    • Linda-Linda-Linda
      June 30, 2016 at 3:38 pm

      We have Price-Rite – same thing!

  • Tudor turtle
    June 30, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Will Donald trump be at the brockton fair? He’ll make the dunk tank clown blush or shit his pants.

  • Reddog
    June 30, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    What a stain on the map of Massachusetts.

  • Paul
    June 30, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    Please tell me this was all sarcasm. If not, what an indictement for the town of brockton. Even still…i laughed very hard reading this

  • Maxito
    June 30, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    This sounds like too much fun to miss… whens the next one.

    Also, how come no body points out that preggo pig smoking a cigg (which she thinks we should be grateful isn’t crack) is also clearly holding a drink she’s almost finished. what trash.

    • Light em up
      July 1, 2016 at 8:47 pm

      Because alcohol cancels out the cigarette effects.

  • kingsraisins
    June 30, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    I’m not saying that Councilor Sarai Rivera is the Brockton Fair Dunk Tank Clown, but to my knowledge, they’ve never both been seen together at the same place.

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