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Yesterday we blogged about the Top 10 voting precincts in Worcester for voter turnout. Basically our premise was, get off your ass and vote, or else shut the hell up and stop whining. Because that’s all we’ve heard for the last six months. Whining from people who don’t run for office, don’t nominate people for office, don’t vote, and then complain when the elected officials “don’t represent them.” One issue in particular has been the fact that the city closed pools at places like Great Brook Valley, Maranville Park, and Crystal Park. You know what would be a great way to keep those pools open? Have people who live in those neighborhoods vote. Because the City Council works for you, but if they know you don’t give a shit and won’t vote them out, then they will give zero fucks about closing your pool. On that note, here are the 10 voting precincts in Worcester with the LOWEST voter turnout last election…

10. Ward 6, Precinct 2, voter turnout – 8%, Councilor: George Russell

Yup, 8 freaking percent of people showed up to vote in 6-2. The other 92% were presumably too busy working on their Vernon Hill 401K – buying scratch tickets at Honey Farms.

9. Ward 10, Precinct 2, voter turnout – 7.9%, Councilor: Sarai Rivera

Precinct 10-2 contains Elm Park Elementary School – a drastically underfunded school that can use all the support it can get. Logically you would assume everyone in this district would be licking their chops to cast their votes on election day. But apparently 92.1% of the people said, “fuck it, let’s get some Boomer’s instead.”

8. Ward 3, Precinct 2, voter turnout – 7.7%, Councilor: Phil Palmieri

Precinct 3-2 is an interesting one. They had by far the lowest amount of voters show up last election. A whopping 77 people moseyed on down to cast their ballots. That’s because this is WPI territory, and there are a shit ton of frat houses with 30 smelly, nerdy dudes living in each. And since precincts are divided up by resident population, NOT registered voters, it’s got a really small amount of potential voters. And of that small pool of registered voters, 7.7% of them actually decided to show up and do their civic duty. Maybe once WPI starts paying PILOT taxes and student fees start going up, then they’ll care. Probably not though. Just give them a bong, a chemistry book, and a Brazzers password and these dudes will be happy.

7. Ward 8, Precinct 1, voter turnout – 7.2%, Councilor: Sarai Rivera

Oh sweet – Busgate territory!! Remember Busgate? Can you believe those geniuses who raided a school bus and attacked a bus driver don’t show up to vote? Never saw that one coming!!

6. Ward 10, Precinct 4, voter turnout – 6.9%, Councilor: Sarai Rivera

Are you starting to notice a pattern here? Over half of the 10 precincts with the worst voter turnout are in Sarai Rivera’s district. I guess it’s easy to get elected when all you have to do is have Kevin Ksen scrounge up a bunch of King Street’s finest, toss em in his white van, give em a dozen donuts, and tell them to vote Rivera!!

5. Ward 2, Precinct 5, voter turnout – 6.8%, Councilor: Tony Economou

It’s weird, because Tony Economou’s district (district 1) has the highest voter turnout in the city. Nine of the precincts have really high rates of people who are invested in their city and give a shit. Then there’s precinct 2-5, a magical place called Great Brook Valley. If I were living in the Valley, the first thing I’d wanna do is vote. After all, this area needs city services more than any other. But evidently 93.2% of residents in this precinct were too busy building nuclear rocketships to show up to vote.

4. Ward 10, Precinct 5, voter turnout – 6.5%, Councilor: Sarai Rivera

Another lovely part of town is Main South. Back in it’s hayday this was where Worcester’s finest came to play. Now, it’s a great place to find a really cheap hooker and a big bag of spit!! No time for voting. Is there any street in Worcester that is more conducive for murdering than Beacon Street?

3. Ward 8, Precinct 2, voter turnout – 6%, Councilor: Sarai Rivera

Oh nice, more Main South!! This Turtleboy used to lifeguard at the Crystal Park pool. You’ve never seen lawlessness and anarchy like you will at a three foot pool in Crystal Park. Literally, you had to let them do whatever they wanted. Sure you could call the police if a child or a 32 year old grandmother got too out of line, but the cops would take at least three minutes to get there. Meanwhile, baby daddy is down the street at a barbecue. Guess who’s gonna win that foot race. LOL. I’m sure the lovely mother in the “I Love Boys” t-shirt, who told me that “I’m a call his Daddy and he gon whoop yo ass,” when I asked her son to stop diving into a 3 foot pool, was one of the 6% of residents who showed up to vote that day. You’ll notice that the pool is no longer there. If the 94% of people who didn’t give a shit actually showed up and voted, it would probably still be there.

2. Ward 6, Precinct 1, voter turnout – 5.4%, Councilor: George Russell

Wait a minute, you’re telling me that Grafton Hill doesn’t vote?? Shocking, I know. This neighborhood is in the North High district, which is easily the most divisive issue we’ve had so far this year. Naturally I’m assuming at least 80% of registered voters will show up this time around. Definitely.

1. Ward 8, Precinct 3, voter turnout – 4.9%, Councilor: Sarai Rivera

Thank GOD this is the lowest voter turnout precinct in the city. This is the God-forsaken neighborhood that contains Clark University. Imagine what would happen if those hippies actually found out that voting is more powerful than blocking traffic at Lincoln Square!! Shhhh… no one tell them!!

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that voter turnout for the next election is close to double what it was this time around. There’s decent, hard working people in all these neighborhoods who have all been victimized by this current administration. If you live in one of these precicnts and didn’t vote last time, then make sure you show up and vote. Unless you were planning on voting for Joe Petty and Tracy Novick. In that case just go to the Blarney instead.

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