Nudniks

Tradition Continues In Woonsocket Of Parents Making Up Shit About Needles Being Put In Crotch Fruit’s Halloween Candy 

 

Trick or treating was cancelled in many towns this year thanks to the coronabros, but down in Woonsocket it was business as usual, and they kept the annual tradition alive of making up stories about finding objects in their semen demon’s candy.

I say this every year when it happens like clockwork, and it should be obvious by now – no one has EVER put needles or razor blades in anyone’s crotch fruit’s candy in the history of Halloween. It’s literally NEVER happened. It is a complete urban myth perpetuated by made up stories like the one here from Kathy Sayaphat.

  

If there was a needle in the candy it would’ve been put there accidentally by Twizzlers, because logic tells us that your friendly neighborhood killer seamstress wouldn’t have been able to take apart the wrapper and then magically reassemble it without anyone noticing.

Nevertheless, the masses of idiots blindly believe it because if COVID has taught us anything it’s that some people truly enjoy living in fear.

The media does their part by doing a story on it, asking no questions at all, and adding some scary music to it with a montage of happy children trick or treating, because they could be next!!!

But the easiest way you can tell this woman is clearly making this up is by looking at the fact that she is responding to EVERYONE who casts doubt on her story and calling them ignorant.

 

Yea Richard, how dare you “jump into conclusions” by not blindly believing her obviously fabricated story like the rest of the mental midget mafia.

On top of that she also trashed the cops for not investigating her obviously made up story quickly enough.

“They clearly don’t care.”

Nah, they only care about about real crimes. They just don’t like having their time wasted by assholes who make up shit like this every single Halloween. Stop wasting the police’s time with bullshit. I hope they do fully investigate this and finally make an example out of these people by arresting them for filing a false police report.

 

Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:




Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

33 Comment(s)
  • pokey pokey
    November 9, 2020 at 8:39 am

    wouldnt poisoning be so much easier? asking for a friend.

  • Attention Seeking Middle Age Mom
    November 3, 2020 at 6:22 pm

    Bullshit. “I’m busy with all my businesses”…what the hell does that mean? The police told you to fill out a report, but instead you want to bitch about it. Were they supposed to head to her neighborhood in swat gear and knock on every door they went to? I bet she didn’t even contact them, if she did it was just to get more attention. Social media gives all these insane, attention hogs a platform to spew their crazy. We are so fucked. Thank you tb for exposing them.

  • Steve Steiner
    November 3, 2020 at 7:40 am

    Mama San is still stuck in the 1970s. This Halloween candy bullshit has never happened, outside of the Borderline attention seeking psycho Mommy, who set up their kids. G. I. beau coup dinky dow motherfucker

  • Pinhead’s Taint
    November 3, 2020 at 12:13 am

    Fuck Twizzlers I’d rather eat the needles.

    Seriously though, has anyone seen Hunter?

  • Kathy Sayaphat
    November 2, 2020 at 7:33 pm

    Kathy looks like she should be working in a massage parlor giving happy endings. Twizlers makes mouths happy.

  • Mastiff squint
    November 2, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    Notice it’s never a skinny parent sounding the alarm! Hay kids! That’s not a monster under your bed making noises trying to get you, That’s the sound of candy hitting the gravitational pull of the growing black hole of your mom’s stomach down stairs. That warning is just her conning you out of calories. Once her neck disappears you will of hit the event horizon and there will be no return.

  • Ho Lee cousin, Mo Lee
    November 2, 2020 at 6:39 pm

    Maybe the Saykids were trick-o-treating at one if the government run needle exchanges? It was a Saturday after all

  • Tina Lawrence
    November 2, 2020 at 6:29 pm

    So her kids just happen to be the only ones who trick or treated in that area who both got needles in their twizzlers? No one else? Obvious bullshit. How do people believe this shit? My son asked me to check his twizzlers this yr “bcuz its always twizzlers u see ppl got needles in”. We had a talk about how its always the ppl who “found” it that actually put it there and no one is putting shit in kids candy. Not to believe everything he sees online. SMH at these ppl and those who believe it!

  • Guinea Geisha
    November 2, 2020 at 6:27 pm

    Confucius Say: “She who find pin in Twizzler get poked by whole neighborhood.”

  • Rod Ramsey
    November 2, 2020 at 6:26 pm

    “Twizzlers are tricky!”

    • One douche to another
      November 2, 2020 at 11:05 pm

      No twizlers are twickey

  • Ho Lee Phuk
    November 2, 2020 at 6:08 pm

    Last time I see Kathy Say she was empty condiment stand at Foxwoods! Sugars.salt pepper coffee stirrers straws. She get it all!! Hi Kathy!!

  • Pin So Long
    November 2, 2020 at 5:17 pm

    “no holes”…well that’s certainly not the case in the pines. There’s lots of holes there. Do you really think by examining the outer wrapper of a candy bar, you would notice a tiny hole where a pin was inserted? NOT. Unless of course your name is SEE SUM TING. Fuck off, lady.

  • Da Nang Class Of 1968
    November 2, 2020 at 5:07 pm

    What she really needs is a Napalm canister through her
    front doors mail slot.

  • Gimme the needle
    November 2, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    As soon as I saw thus story on Fox 25 I called Bullshit! They talked to the daughter and you can tell it was made up

  • Johnny S
    November 2, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    You hear the one about the Chinese Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn’t understand.

    • I been driving a Lincoln long before anyone paid me to drive a Lincoln.
      November 2, 2020 at 7:37 pm

      A Chinese man went to his doctor. He asked why he couldn’t see well. The doctor told the Chinese man, you have cataracts. The Chinese man said. What? No! I drive a Lincoln.

      • MistahShift
        November 2, 2020 at 9:08 pm

        I think you mean ‘Rincoln’

        • She says Rincoln.
          November 2, 2020 at 9:21 pm

          She says Rincoln. You say when I flip over rub my Twizzler bitch.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    November 2, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    If it’s so dangerous here why not go back to the Philippines bitch?

  • Rockets Redglare
    November 2, 2020 at 4:03 pm

    She checked the wrappers and there were no holes. Obviously put in there at the factory. Uncanny how they knew it would be given out at Halloween…

  • Dr. Wu
    November 2, 2020 at 3:55 pm

    Wait’ll she gets a taste of my almond JOY- it’s round and hard, it’s got two nuts and it makes a girl fat.

  • In need of translation
    November 2, 2020 at 3:50 pm

    “I’m busy enough with my businesses & my life. I don’t have to report this. I just want to warn all the parents out there. Bring a mother of 2 young children, if someone else’s child got hurt or killed because I didn’t report it, would be so devastating”

    What she’s really saying:

    I’m not too busy to soak in the attention while I play whack-a-mole on anyone who sees through this bullshit. I knew the cops would, so I turned to facebook to warn all my fb friends that live nowhere near the few houses on the way to my sister’s. Because I’m such an awesome mom, I chose the facebook route instead of the police, so I could look myself in the mirror, just in case this life or death situation was actually true

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 2, 2020 at 3:43 pm

    I’m just surprised that pie faced gook could even see well enough through her slanty eyes to get the needles right in the middle of those licorice sticks.

    • LMFAO
      November 2, 2020 at 3:54 pm

      This is just the type of obnoxious remark to make my Monday, welcome back real ST.

      Looks like you shook your impostor, not sure what the hell that was all about.

      • Spic Tormentor
        November 2, 2020 at 4:10 pm

        Thanks man, appreciate it.

        And my impostor is still around, being a pathetic faggot as usual. He’s been obsessed with me ever since I owned him in the comment section. 5 MONTHS AGO. At least he’s pretty easy to spot, you can always tell the fake ST because his jokes are completely unfunny and fucking retarded.

  • The GC GANGSTA
    November 2, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    I have zero doubt those needles were put into the twizzlers. Obviously by the mom…I mean there’s no doubt about that. Even the police are like ‘…umm yeah could you call us back on St Swithen’s Day of 2026?” They don’t have time to waste on this nonsense every year! Sadly her children think it really happened. Which is tantamount to child abuse.

  • Turtz McGurtz
    November 2, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    Why do people do this kind of nonsense? The same reason people go on the Jerry Springer show (or whatever the equivalent of that is today). Too much time on their hands and an insatiable desire for 15 minutes of “fame.”

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 2, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    I bet that pork fried cunt hands out a bag of rice and pocket calculators for halloween

    • Kathy Say
      November 2, 2020 at 3:23 pm

      CHING CHANG CHONG ME LIKEY CANDY CHONG CHING OH YESSA SOLLY SAH ME LIKEY FRY RIE. CHONG CHONG CHING.

  • Beverly Farms
    November 2, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    Kathy Say needs a life.
    I am however glad she didn’t make her little one eat a needle to complete the story and polish it with a Go Fund Me for medical bills. The “look at me crowd” has been known to do that.
    Today we sleep as Capitalists.
    Tomorrow who knows.
    Nothing says Democracy than flat screens and Air Jordans taken through looting.
    Or there will be black bodies in the streets of every American city.
    With careful head shots I can take down a company singlehandedly if my wife reloads fast enough.
    Waves are up!

  • DudeRanchStripClub (me/mine pronouns)
    November 2, 2020 at 2:21 pm

    Someone put C4 in my Laffy Taffy

  • Orion
    November 2, 2020 at 2:14 pm

    LOL “Holiday everyone can enjoy, especially children.” Umm, ALL HOLIDAYS are for fucking children, and commercialized around children mostly. Besides that, kids have it far too easy as it is, they don’t need holidays on top of that. They’ve been encouraged to think they’re brittle and overburdened by putrid adults.

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron