Social Justice Warriors

Transgender UMass White Boy Upset He Can’t Go To Breast Cancer Screening Because He Doesn’t Ovulate Is The Wokest Person On The Internet Right Now 

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Have a tip for a story? Email us at [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter by clicking here

Follow us on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever Facebook page to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the wokest thing that’s ever been posted on the Internet:

Wait……what??? This might as well be written in Chinese. But from what I understand, this lesbian trans girl (which sounds like a dude with a penis who likes to drill chicks while wearing drag) is all hot and bothered because he eavesdropped on a conversation between two Smith College women and got offended because they like going to an all girls school. In other words, they were exercising their transmisognyist white cisfeminism.

FYI, this is what we’re dealing with:

Oh, it’s just a white guy who put on makeup. I get it now. He’s oppressed.

Turns out Turtleboy wasn’t the only one confused. Especially since this was posted on a page where UMass students post hilarious anecdotes about funny things drunk people say:

Rule #1 to being a vapid SJW – always start off every sentence with, “As a………” and then list all the ways you’ve victimized yourself by listing which “oppressed” groups you are a member of. For instance, as a disabled half Sri Lankan half Cherokee pansexual femme (they/it pronouns) with stubs for arms and an inverted penis, I can pretty much win any conversation before it even starts.

So I pointed out to Maddie Stump that he was merely a white boy with a penis looking to marginalize my experience as a disabled half Sri Lankan half Cherokee pansexual femme with stubs for arms and an inverted penis. Guess what he did? Used his lez-normative white privilege to block me? Guess that’s what happens when a strong, outspoken Sri Lankan starts speaking its truth.

Seriously though, I’m not kidding when I say this is the wokest individual who has ever lived:

 

Just to clarify the root of his anger – he’s mad because women with vaginas won’t treat him like he can be victimized in the same way they can. Ya know, because of his penis. It would be pretty hard for someone with a penis to understand what it feels like to be vaginally raped, give birth, or have a period once a month.

Nevertheless this MAN is a victim because he can’t participate in forums on breast cancer:

In other words, women with breast cancer are oppressing this able bodied white male.

Think of how fucked up and outrageous that is. But you MUST embrace this or else you’re not “progressive.” It’s the ultimate popsicle headache.

But please, tell me more about how being transgender can’t possibly be a mental illness. This guy clearly is of sane mind and body, and things he says should be respected and taken seriously.

Very seriously.

61 Comment(s)
  • Ted Knight
    February 22, 2018 at 9:24 am

    I’m pretty open minded about gay/trans people. I get there’s a difference between being male and being a man. I don’t consider this person a man, for reasons of character more than lifestyle choices, but understand you’re not born a man, that’s something you become through experience.

    Anyway, even if you buy that this person is a she, and I’m happy to do that, her decision to live within a gender that doesn’t generally correspond to her sex isn’t the problem I’m having with all of this. It’s the decision to be miserable. She’s in college, Amherst is a fun town for young people, but she’s so caught up in this game of competitive oppressedness, she can enjoy any of it.

    There are plenty of freaked out right wingers in that environment as well, and I just can’t understand it. You get a few year surrounded by energetic, occasionally intelligent, young people, and you choose to spend it moping about cisheterotrans nonsense. You don’t get that time back, and anybody over 22 becomes suspicious in that environment, so why waste the good years?

    Also, she’s complaining that a scientific study is implementing controls on participants, which is foolish. She’s no more excluded than fat women or women with a history of cancer. There are breast cancer studies that accept male subjects, they can get the disease, if she’s serious about the cause there are options. It seems she’s only really serious about her own oppression though.

  • whatevuh
    February 22, 2018 at 7:50 am

    what a sick waste of oxygen, he/she/it needs serious psychiatric help

  • Sloppy
    February 21, 2018 at 10:07 pm

    That man is a genius. Lots of dudes want to fuck lesbians, that guy figured out how to pull it off.

  • TJB
    February 21, 2018 at 9:59 pm

    I scrolled through most of this. I’m not religious, but I think if we do have a creator…that he/she has had enough of this fuckery. MAN. WOMAN, PERIOD. There is only two models. I saw online the freaks in the medical industry we’re working on an artificial womb; a machine that could grow human embryos from a cell to a human baby. The past stories of humans trying to imitate G.O.D. did not end well. I hope these maniacs do not turn the earth and the human race into an asteroid belt, a loose pile of stones speeding through the universe forever.

  • Tom Blackburn
    February 21, 2018 at 8:01 pm

    Trannies are even worse than people that “choose” to be gay. Disgusting, sub-human terrorists. Worthless stains on life itself. THANK YOU TB for continuing to call them out, because every normal Turtle Rider HATES everything to do with the LGBT or whatever those fags call themselves.

  • JoeMomma
    February 21, 2018 at 6:30 pm

    I don’t even list the degree from UMass / Amherst on my resume anymore.

  • Hope Solo’s Chocolate Starfish
    February 21, 2018 at 6:27 pm

    This topic is so confusing. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Left, right, up, down, B, A, B, A, Start, Select

  • Chip Striker
    February 21, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    All this freak wants is attention. It’s the reason he started dressing like a girl.

  • Buck Futts
    February 21, 2018 at 5:02 pm

    You either suck dick or you don’t son.
    No two ways about it.

  • Strata
    February 21, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    Maddie, why are you such an “attention” seeker ? Unfulfilled life? Feel meaningless? Not enough “hugs” growing up? Go away

  • W
    February 21, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    White guys….always complaining about something

    • Cracker
      February 21, 2018 at 4:40 pm

      Get rid of the niggers and spics and see if we have anything left to complain about.

  • New Age Political Correcter
    February 21, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    So… when this dude was a little dude… he saw some sweet girl on girl action… and felt a stirring in his under-britches. He couldn’t explain the feelings he was having, and Mommy was at work, cause Daddy hadn’t been heard from in 7 or 8 years. So he decided that he wanted to be like those wonderful ladies in the movie… Mommy is at work so often that he had all kinds of time to try out her clothes. How close am I?

  • Chip Striker
    February 21, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    All this freak wants is attention.

    That’s why he dresses like a girl, and that’s why he makes controversial comments.

  • Kanacke Hasser
    February 21, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    Another chronic pain in the ass by-product of Democrats allowing douchebags to be douchebags.

  • Troubled Nostrils
    February 21, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    “Stump.” Is that his real name or is that just an extension of his wishful thinking?

    Oh, geez – I meant “her” or “it” or… something. I’m awake, but not woke.

  • Donald loves Putin's cock
    February 21, 2018 at 1:59 pm

    I love turtleboy sports. I’ve been using you in my thesis on most clueless people in the entire state of mass. God, it writes itself. One, majority of you claim to hate transgender yet would be the first to fuck one. Second, you attack Dede yet she has won. Turtleboy still doesn’t have their Facebook back. Third, you come on here with lame names and act hardcore. Majority of you I know on Facebook by how you talk. Which, I will be linking your names to your comments tonight. God, I love how simple minded you all are. There’s no hate in America if you’re white and perfect. Must suck, knowing you’re all gonna fade from memory. Take barrack who uses the name, stood behind him yesterday and he never knew. Turtleboy, you’re glorified now. Soon you’ll be like every other news site like you. you’ll fade. Can’t wait. My thesis is almost done and you’re all helping me prove my point. Hope to get it publish.

    • Mike Rotch
      February 21, 2018 at 2:38 pm

      That thesis will get published as quickly as Lynchie’s lawsuits get filed. This post just goes to show that you can’t keep a cohesive thought. So, I highly doubt you have ANY graduate schooling, let alone PhD candidacy. Although I do weep for the State’s “University” system, there are some borderline ‘tards in the system now. One, you can’t even keep a cogent thought together for one sentence. Second, you don’t understand punctuation and its use. There are sentences that aren’t sentences. Rules of grammar thrown out the window. But please, continue trying to sound like you’re intelligent. Hopefully you can get a ride when you have to go pick up your ‘gubment’ cheese and can’t sell your stamps anymore.

      • Whiteman
        February 25, 2018 at 10:03 am

        you sound more demented than this transvestite piece of shit.

    • Strata
      February 21, 2018 at 3:20 pm

      Your not doing a Thesis …. why do you lie to try to make a point? Your actually pretty pathetic as you dump on this site, yet you visit it all the time !

    • Trump Owns You, Douchebag
      February 21, 2018 at 3:23 pm

      I corrected the spelling, syntax and grammatical errors in your other post on behalf of the Trump supporters. You wouldn’t want to have looked stupid to your Matchbox University professor when you handed in your “thesis”. You’re welcome.

      I’d fix this one too, but you’re too much of a whiny bitch.

      Go Fist Fuck Your Dad,

      Trump Owns You, Inc.

    • Trump Owns You, Douchebag
      February 21, 2018 at 3:27 pm

      OK, one for free, just to show you what an idiot you are.

      It’s “published”, not “publish” in the sense you were using the word, you mindless vapid cunt.

      I woofed your sister in the asshole,

      Trump Owns You, Inc.

    • Finn
      February 21, 2018 at 7:36 pm

      Donald loves cock,

      You’re not in school (thus, the thesis is a moot point). But…

      1. “you claim to hate transgender yet would be the first to fuck one.”

      Zero sense. If you were really working on a thesis, your adviser would ask you to leave the graduate program immediately. You’ve just proved you have no solid arguing skills. This doesn’t even pass Ad hominem attacks 101. First, you can’t point out where TBS has every said they hated transgender persons – second, making the assertion that TBS would then “fuck one” is rather childish. Not very collegiate to me.

      2. “you attack Dede yet she has won. Turtleboy still doesn’t have their Facebook back. ”

      Are you sure about that? Last I checked, TB doesn’t have to pander to the internet to find out “who the baby daddy”. DeeDee has to beg and borrow to get through life. She will NEVER be self sufficient without a GoFundMe or other scam. She will NEVER go anywhere in life – she has peaked. That’s pretty sad. I’ve seen her followers too – a bunch of Google Trophy Collectors. The fact that you have to lie to Facebook about TBS’s page shows that you can’t put together a thoughtful argument on why TBS should be shut down. In the security world it’s call “Brute Force” in the – and it didn’t last long (at least not the caliber you’re operating at).

      3. “Third, you come on here with lame names and act hardcore. Majority of you I know on Facebook by how you talk. Which, I will be linking your names to your comments tonight. God, I love how simple minded you all are. ”
      Don’t forget to call the internet police with your IP addresses and then link away – because that’s how all of that works. Dummy.

      4. “There’s no hate in America if you’re white and perfect. Must suck, knowing you’re all gonna fade from memory.”
      Boom. There it is (you couldn’t resist) — the ugly, dumb racist has shown himself. Your argument AGAIN falls on deaf ears when you get all racist — you get shut down. Bring your hate back to DeeDee’s page and leave the grownups (aka contributors to society) alone.

      5. “My thesis is almost done and you’re all helping me prove my point. Hope to get it publish.”

      Your thesis is NOT almost done because it’s a fallacy. There is not one professor I know that would ever take your racist rhetoric and sloppy arguing skills seriously. You would be tossed immediately. Btw – I’ve seen you on Facebook — you’re a raging racist idiot who has zero history education and you’re disgruntled because you can’t figure out how to scam the system yet.

      Get Fucked,
      Finn

      • #blacklivesdontmatter
        February 21, 2018 at 10:20 pm

        Hahaha! Finn whooped your ass you racist bitch. Go ahead, tell the world who I am, you can’t asshat, I don’t use fuckbook!

  • Rick Shaw
    February 21, 2018 at 1:21 pm

    What the fuck is going on with our society. Just because some freak calls himself a woman, he’s a member of a protected class??? They should take this freak that looks like he came out of the Star Wars bar scene and drop him in Red Square. Then we’ll see how much he wants to be a woman.

  • WE HAVE NO CATS KATHLEEN
    February 21, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    I can’t even understand what this kid is even writing about. I feel like I’m reading a different language. 

    Also, Why can’t we just be male or female? You know, science. 

    • Sigmund Freud Meets Sylvia Plath
      February 21, 2018 at 9:00 pm

      I know, right? It’s like ghetto or ratchet speak – just with more syllables and word mashups. Pretending to be poseur intellectual instead of a hardo thug.

      And speaking of spelling – can you misspell words that are just fabricated by mentally ill attention whores? WTF is all this confabulated cistransfeebmindbinormativ cotton candy crap anyway?

  • pro trump
    February 21, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    fuck all trannies SHOVE THEM IN OVENS!!!!!!

  • Dick Johnson
    February 21, 2018 at 12:26 pm

    Sounds like Maddie is getting one hell of an education up there at the Zoo.

  • Brian Albrecht
    February 21, 2018 at 12:21 pm

    That fucking pussy bret would probably love to spend a night with this THING. He’s so poor he probably couldnt afford an uber to get over to campus though. HAHAH BRET K YOU’RE A FUCKING BITCH YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT. GET FUCKED BY AN AIDS DICK. and if you ever feel tough I’ll pay your cab fare to get to weymouth and your hospitals after you poor fuck.

    • Kevi
      February 21, 2018 at 12:45 pm

      I’ll consider letting you be the top this time. Send the cab to Fitchburg.

      • Mayor Lynch
        February 21, 2018 at 1:21 pm

        Get fucked by an AIDS dick? Are you offering, stud? *smooches*

  • Leonardo
    February 21, 2018 at 12:13 pm

    “I am excluded from queer communities for being trans; from lesbian communities for being trans and a woman; from trans woman models for being queer; from trans communities for being a woman; and from women’s communities for being trans and queer. ”

    Maybe it has something to do with your lashing out at anybody who doesn’t think your opinion is the only and always correct version of reality.

    • z
      February 21, 2018 at 12:32 pm

      Sounds like “Fight Club” or Showtimes “I’m dying up here”.

      • z
        February 21, 2018 at 12:49 pm

        If (s)he is taking hormones, I still thought there was psychological evaluations that need to take place to see if you are suitable. If so, WTF? This sounds like a bad situation made much worse.

        Basically:
        I’m a guy and want to bang women. But, I’m really a woman and I want to bang women after I Transition? And because “cis” women don’t want to bang me, it’s their fault?

        Wikipedia:

        Cisgender (often abbreviated to simply cis) is a term for people whose gender identity matches the sex that they were assigned at birth. Cisgender may also be defined as those who have “a gender identity or perform a gender role society considers appropriate for one’s sex”.[1] It is the opposite of the term transgender.

        Thank god (s)he isn’t trigender:
        A trigender person may shift from one gender to another depending on the individual’s mood or situation.

        How dare someone not want to be the some other sex. How dare someone being happy with who they are.

        Just go into porn. You’ll be paid for what you are and will be accepted

  • Timmy's Mom
    February 21, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    Perhaps fruit loop here could blow his/her way onto the Mass State Police.

  • Miss Monster (The Hybrid)
    February 21, 2018 at 12:09 pm

    He claims to be attracted to cis women (actual women) yet does nothing but trash them? So Im going to go out on a limb here & assume he means he’s attracted to the idea of raping cis women…I blame Tumblr for all this bullshit.

  • Cabaret
    February 21, 2018 at 12:06 pm

    Trannies play an important part in niche entertainment and all but what he’s doing is just confusing. Maybe if he dumbs it down a little and works out his material at open mic nights he’ll be able to develop a decent act.

  • vicxh
    February 21, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    I would not grab IT by the p**sy

    • KJDS
      February 21, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Pssst – he doesn’t have one 😉

  • KJDS
    February 21, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    I didn’t understand anything it said. It’s like they’ve invented their own language. Quite exclusionary, don’t you think.

    And, yes, as a real woman who’s had ovaries and a uterus since birth, I believe this person is definitely mentally ill.

  • TortugaNino
    February 21, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    WHAT…THE…ACTUAL…FUCK, did I just read. No seriously, I have no idea wtf she was saying, I may also have broken my google machine trying to decipher this garbage. I probably would have a better chance culling information from posts written in Russian. I fuckin hate it when people think they sound intelligent because they know all 36 words that were forcibly added to the dictionary last year after they were invented to describe your new feelz and such. Go crawl in a hole and die!

  • Finn
    February 21, 2018 at 12:03 pm

    Maddie definitely made up the conversation he overheard on the bus. He needed a launching pad for his ridiculous tirade against anyone that didn’t resemble him (ironic – huh?).

    Individuals who scream and yell about being “accepted” – certainly have little to no tolerance for those who don’t look like them.

    By the way, did any one remind Maddie that he’s white too? It’s rather cringe worthy watching someone attack their own race …

    • wtf
      February 21, 2018 at 1:35 pm

      I am so glad I am not the only person say this!

      • Flash Burn
        February 21, 2018 at 6:25 pm

        I can see Maddie and Finn hooking up. Both have this pent up rage and anger that could be released in a positive manner with some mutual sphincter bumping. Finn, you wouldn’t have to think yourself totally gay, since you could scream out Madeline while humping away! 😉 Maddie would have some reciprocal CIS trans-acceptance when he , errr she, could give little Mr. Finn-willy a nice long pucker kiss until he, eerrr she, jacks one all over her forehead writing “F-I-N-N” shish-bum-bah! lol Happiness made for the heavens. Rock on Finn man, we know you will ever endeavor to persevere!

        Say that 10 times fast, Finn will ever endeavor to persevere, Finn will ever endeavor to persevere, enough to make an epileptic shoot one off in his jazzys. Maddie will solidify the chances for success.

        • Finn
          February 21, 2018 at 7:01 pm

          Flash Burn,

          You seem a bit jealous. Need a tissue?

          It’s endearing watching you trying to figure who I am. So far – you’ve been absolutely and completely …

          wrong.

          (and I love it)

          Get Fucked,
          Finn

        • My Easy Bake Oven Has More Brain Power Than Finn
          February 21, 2018 at 9:14 pm

          Funniest thing I’ve read all day! Well done.

          And Finn’s response? Well, it’s Finn so naturally it’s weak and pathetic.

          Can’t wait for your next takedown of that little poseur. And his obligatory, “But, but, …. I got nothing.”

          • Finn
            February 21, 2018 at 9:49 pm

            I love all my fans equally.
            Kisses,
            Finn

  • Frank W Beans
    February 21, 2018 at 11:52 am

    I am suing – UMass won’t let my dog participate in a feline leukemia study – even though he wears a cat mask. Bastards…

  • Well, No Shit
    February 21, 2018 at 11:50 am

    “I literally would have killed myself.”

    There’s still time, you “woke” fucking douchebag. 

    • Magules13
      February 21, 2018 at 4:54 pm

      Technically there’s a 41% chance of that happening 

      • Is it just me or...?
        February 22, 2018 at 3:00 am

        Gave the thumbs up for a 41% chance of a positive outcome.
        I cannot imagine being the parent of what must be an insufferable bitchboi.
        I certainly wouldn’t be paying for its education as the investment would no doubt be wasted on a useless major like gender twisting studies or some foolishness.

  • whatever floats
    February 21, 2018 at 11:48 am

    Men and Women can get breast cancer so informing people about it shouldn’t be a problem. Men can use the tools to either help a relative,spouse,friend or themselves.

    • Frank W Beans
      February 21, 2018 at 11:55 am

      All true, but this is a specific study that apparently requires biological females to complete. Thats why he doesn’t qualify.

      • whatever floats
        February 21, 2018 at 12:02 pm

        True. I wonder if a study would be done for transgender people at another time. I mean with all the hormones and what not the risks could potentially increase.

        • Frank W Beans
          February 21, 2018 at 12:27 pm

          That would be a good study, probably one that should have been done before they legalized hormone treatment…and during that study, true females would be excluded, less they skew the results…guessing there won’t be a protest over that though

  • Maggie the Cat
    February 21, 2018 at 11:43 am

    Except for the women who prefer to go to an all female college (and whose private conversation should have been kept private by the person eavesdropping on it), everyone involved here is insane.

  • Daddy went for cigarettes
    February 21, 2018 at 11:40 am

    The trans-mis-ogyny challenge… Take those three things… mix them all up and see how many times it can be used in a sentence.

    For example: “The CIS misogyny toward transcis TERF/SERF transogyny and feministic transmisogyny affects my mistransogyny directly in my menstral AMAB lesbian transmisogyny pink hat… jazz hands.”

  • #chickswithdicksisso2017
    February 21, 2018 at 11:36 am

    I blame the parents for supporting these feminine boys, where the hell are their fathers to tell them this shit isn’t normal? 20 years ago this was classified as a mental illness, it still should be, look at how this little pansy talks. He’s a trans lesbian? That means he still likes girls, so why the hell is he dressed like one? I’m so done with these transtrenders and ready for their next horrific phase they’ve got. 

    • Rufus
      February 21, 2018 at 12:32 pm

      I feel bad, but this human being is going to be fucking hideous in 10-15 years. Already bald and miserable with no happiness in his future. He’s gonna look like a witch and his heavier (male) skin is going to fall off his bones and other fucked up things from hormones.

      Good luck.

      • z
        February 21, 2018 at 1:16 pm

        I figure the end will be standing on a street corner mumbling gibberish in downtown Northampton.

        People will avert eye contact so they don’t get accosted.

        Sort of like downtown Northampton right now. The current gibberish mumblers aren’t going to live forever and new ones will be needed.

        I only reason I ever stop in that town is for the ice cream at Herrells and the
        La Fiorentina Pastry Shop.

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Angry White Folk Are Calling This UMass Basketball “White Water” Video Reverse Racism
Jesse Jackson: Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Is Worse Than Rosa Parks Bus Driver
Did Minnesota Vikings Fire Chris Kluwe Because He Supported Gay Marriage, or Because He Was a Liquored Up Idiot Punter?