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Trapquen Tuesday: Southbridge DCF Veteran Mom Wants Free Furniture, Clothes, Beds, Because Mystery Man “Destroyed” Her House

Trapquen Tuesday: Southbridge DCF Veteran Mom Wants Free Furniture, Clothes, Beds, Because Mystery Man “Destroyed” Her House

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Here’s your junkbox scam of the day out of Southbridge:

So let me get this straight Christina Lang. Your whole place was destroyed, along with all your beds, couches, and clothes. But it wasn’t a fire, it was an “obsessive man” who broke into your home. He wasn’t there to rob or kill you. He was there to go all Rick James on your couch, tear apart your beds, and destroy your clothes for the fuck of it? Oh yea, this story checks out.

Here’s an idea – just ask if anyone has a free couch. There’s always someone looking to get rid of a couch or a soiled mattress. Especially in Southbridge. You don’t have to make up a whole story about a mystery man coming into your house and going all Hurricane Bob on it. People will just give you a couch.

Ya know how I know this chick isn’t telling the whole truth? The eye test:

Nuff said.

The only thing that’s missing is a couple flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats and the dog filter. But yea, anyone who wakes up one day and says, “I’m gonna go ahead and get a full length tattoo of an owl on my left arm,” is someone I automatically assume is running a scam on me.

She fits the ratchet profile to a T though. She’s looking to become a CNA

She wants you to give her kids specific Halloween costumes, less than 3 days before trick or treating

She’s looking for some Southbridge cervix scraper action, but with no strings attached

She’s a big fan of the n word

She can afford to go tanning


And of course she shared and signed an online petition (to the President who I’m sure will put this at the top of his desk) entitled, “End DCF….leave are children alone if their not getting molested, raped, physically abused.”


Because those are the only legitimate reason to take a child away from their mother. If you’re a junkbox who gives birth to a drug addicted baby, you should be allowed to take your baby home with you so you can trade them in for food stamps on Craig’s List. Not even kidding, that’s what the petition was fighting for – the rights of junkbox mothers:

Shockingly Christina Lang has had issues with with DCF before:

Oh OK. DCF busted into her home and took her son because SHE was physically assaulted. Yup, that’s what DCF does. They take children away from victims of domestic abuse just for the fuck of it.

Newsflash – if you have a personal beef with DCF because they took your kids away, there’s a 99% chance you will some day end up on Turtleboy. Yes, I know that in some rare cases DCF is overzealous and takes kids away from the wrong people for a short amount of time. Those people do not dress like this at Hampton Beach:

Christina is none too pleased that no one has taken her up on her very believable story:

And as you know, people who want a cookie for allegedly being “1 week sober” or “2 days with no cigs” are always up to something nefarious. That’s just science.

Oh, and for what it’s worth, her sobriety is disputed by rival ratchets who she for some reason tagged in the post:

We messaged Christina asking for more information about exactly what happened to all her clothing and furniture but did not receive a message back. But I’m sure her story can be documented and is 100% truthful. Definitely.

18 Comment(s)
  • Christina Bang
    February 2, 2020 at 6:23 am

    Fast forward to 2020..she is pregnant again..such a shame and poor child

  • Kayla
    November 19, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    Omg !!! This girl is TRASH !!! No person in recovery says “I’m one week sober” when they were drinking the night before !!!!! No one !!!!! I’ve been in recovery and have been successful because I know that drinking is just as bad as any drug out there, and that when you’re drinking YOU’RE NOT SOBER !!!!! And it’s people like this nasty b*tch that make the methadone and suboxin programs look BAD !!!! Obviously if you’re on a methadone clinic you have substance abuse issues and if DCF didn’t do an investigation after a baby being born on methadone to make sure the mother is capable of staying clean and being a good parent THEN they’d be a bad organization !!!! I don’t agree with DCF 100% of the time but they’re doing their jobs for the most part…. A baby being born on methadone to a mother who’s still going to the clinic needs to be looked into to make sure that baby is safe !!!! This girl is cooked and needs to go back to that hospital she “escaped from”. Her CHILDREN are better off without her. She’s a disgrace to women in recovery EVERYWHERE !!!!!!!!!

  • Lisa
    November 15, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    Why is it that lowlife trash always seem to be the most fertile? Her ridiculous petition to abolish the DCF implies that she off the smack and methadone yet she later brags about being clean for a week. I wish we could lace heroin with a drug that sterilizes the users. Their spawn basically have zero hope of ever being productive members of society.

  • Chris Graham
    November 11, 2017 at 11:35 am

    I hate those who prey on people. Some of you so called Christians know that Christ hung out with these types of people?

  • Mystical
    November 9, 2017 at 11:20 am

    I mean….this girl spent her whole life as the youngest of a huge family and she had special needs her whole life. Ignored her whole life, she has adopted a persona that will attract any attention; and she is willing to accept it . We should help those who are considered mentally disabled (she was a girl with an aid throughout school) instead of reinforcing this outrageously embarrassing and deplorable behavior. Being special needs is no excuse, but never having a role model or consistent support as an adult makes it hard to learn how adults are supposed to act. A continuously sad story that will probably only spiral due to the lack of understanding, forgiveness, or empathy shown by those. A little grace and mercy might take you off the naughty list, Turtle Turtle. (I still love you)

  • Girl in NH
    November 8, 2017 at 9:34 am

    I’m pretty sure these are the 2 trash bags I had the pleasure of seeing on the beach when their little boy ran up to me and asked if he could play with my granddaughters toys, as he was playing with them under my granddaughters wtf stare they were paying no attention what so ever that their child just walked up to a complete stranger and starting playing with toys, they were on the phone trying to score some drugs from what I could hear and he kept saying “where they meeting us” after about 20 minutes the little boy lost interest and wondered off it was then that she finally spoke and thanked me. My heart broke for that little boy cause I knew he definitely didn’t have a stable life with loving parents.

    • Sue
      November 8, 2017 at 3:33 pm

      It’s always the innocent children that suffer the most and end up with a screwed up life because of parents like that. It’s heartbreaking and will always be, when children are involved.

  • Laughing from the sidelines
    November 8, 2017 at 12:04 am

    Her daughter is in her mom’s custody and has been for years. Instead of ever trying to regain custody she went out and had another kid. Last I knew she didn’teven know who his dad was. Some people never change. She’s been trash her whole life. I went to school with her and she’s literally the same wannabe hoodrat piece of shit she was then.

  • Cass11
    November 7, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    D.C.F will never take your baby if you been going to the clinic unless the baby is born with illegal drugs in it’s system. Any woman who can look at their babies and then get fucked up is a pos!!!! It’s not hard to put your kids first

  • Informed via Instagram
    November 7, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    TURTLEBOY: note she doesn’t mention the six year old daughter she lost total custody of because of her boyfriend molesting her.

  • Tony
    November 7, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Southbridge pinup girl with the owl ink. No need to go any further.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    November 7, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    Would…….. Fupa and all.

  • The Executioner
    November 7, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    I’m back.
    Know I’ll get some flack for this but I wish the govt would just lace all the heroin out there with the elephant fentanyl and weed these lowlife maggots out of the gene pool. Then they would at least have the right to play the victim.

    • Kayla
      November 19, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      Really ? That’s gross. You’re just as bad as any of them talking like that !

  • Sue
    November 7, 2017 at 12:46 pm

    If someone needs to announce on Facebook they have been sober for one week, chances are they have not been. Real people with sobriety do it for themselves. Not for Facebook likes.

    • Friend of Bill W
      November 7, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      And, you get those sweeeeet tokens!

  • Maggie the Cat
    November 7, 2017 at 11:43 am

    That picture on the beach makes her and her boyfriend look like zombies!

  • BobnMic
    November 7, 2017 at 11:20 am

    Would. (Again.)

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