Trapquen Tuesday: Southbridge DCF Veteran Mom Wants Free Furniture, Clothes, Beds, Because Mystery Man “Destroyed” Her House
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Here’s your junkbox scam of the day out of Southbridge:
So let me get this straight Christina Lang. Your whole place was destroyed, along with all your beds, couches, and clothes. But it wasn’t a fire, it was an “obsessive man” who broke into your home. He wasn’t there to rob or kill you. He was there to go all Rick James on your couch, tear apart your beds, and destroy your clothes for the fuck of it? Oh yea, this story checks out.
Here’s an idea – just ask if anyone has a free couch. There’s always someone looking to get rid of a couch or a soiled mattress. Especially in Southbridge. You don’t have to make up a whole story about a mystery man coming into your house and going all Hurricane Bob on it. People will just give you a couch.
Ya know how I know this chick isn’t telling the whole truth? The eye test:
The only thing that’s missing is a couple flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats and the dog filter. But yea, anyone who wakes up one day and says, “I’m gonna go ahead and get a full length tattoo of an owl on my left arm,” is someone I automatically assume is running a scam on me.
She fits the ratchet profile to a T though. She’s looking to become a CNA
She wants you to give her kids specific Halloween costumes, less than 3 days before trick or treating
She’s looking for some Southbridge cervix scraper action, but with no strings attached
She’s a big fan of the n word
She can afford to go tanning
And of course she shared and signed an online petition (to the President who I’m sure will put this at the top of his desk) entitled, “End DCF….leave are children alone if their not getting molested, raped, physically abused.”
Because those are the only legitimate reason to take a child away from their mother. If you’re a junkbox who gives birth to a drug addicted baby, you should be allowed to take your baby home with you so you can trade them in for food stamps on Craig’s List. Not even kidding, that’s what the petition was fighting for – the rights of junkbox mothers:
Shockingly Christina Lang has had issues with with DCF before:
Oh OK. DCF busted into her home and took her son because SHE was physically assaulted. Yup, that’s what DCF does. They take children away from victims of domestic abuse just for the fuck of it.
Newsflash – if you have a personal beef with DCF because they took your kids away, there’s a 99% chance you will some day end up on Turtleboy. Yes, I know that in some rare cases DCF is overzealous and takes kids away from the wrong people for a short amount of time. Those people do not dress like this at Hampton Beach:
Christina is none too pleased that no one has taken her up on her very believable story:
And as you know, people who want a cookie for allegedly being “1 week sober” or “2 days with no cigs” are always up to something nefarious. That’s just science.
Oh, and for what it’s worth, her sobriety is disputed by rival ratchets who she for some reason tagged in the post:
We messaged Christina asking for more information about exactly what happened to all her clothing and furniture but did not receive a message back. But I’m sure her story can be documented and is 100% truthful. Definitely.