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If You Try Sailing To Australia During a Blizzard You Deserve To Die

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You know what I would like to do? Stop blogging about snow. Like, I’d love to wake up and see some crazy shit happened that I can share hot takes about. But nope. You turn on the TV or go on the Internet and there simply isn’t a story around here that doesn’t involve snow. One of my favorites was the dumbasses who decided our five millionth blizzard this winter would be a good time to go for a nice little boat ride off of Nantucket. Here’s the story from WCVB:

U.S. Coast Guard crews faced “near hurricane force winds” as they rescued an Australian father-son team who were stranded at sea after a powerful winter storm ripped their ship’s sails. Petty Officer LaNola Stone said the men were picked up about 140 miles southeast of Nantucket by a Coast Guard Jayhawk helicopter based on Cape Cod. Stone said the sailors called for help around 5 a.m. when their 43-foot boat lost power and had its sails torn. The helicopter reached them about 9 a.m. She said it took about two hours to pick up the men in 60 mph winds and 25-foot seas. No one was injured but the men were taken to a hospital to be evaluated for hypothermia. Stone told the station the men had bought their boat “Sedona” on eBay and left from Rhode Island on Friday, headed for Australia.

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Hey Turtleboy Jr. I have a good idea!! Let’s sail to Australia in the middle of a blizzard!! Hey geniuses, this isn’t 1492. We can fly places now. I understand that it’s 80 degrees in Sydney right now and don’t blame you for wanting to get the hell out of here. But if you can afford a boat then you can afford a plane ticket. If you’re really hell bent on doing this nostalgic Captain Cooke trip then I would suggest waiting until like, May. Or maybe just don’t go in the middle of a blizzard. Might be a good idea. Oh, and please spare me the jive that sailing the boat is the only way to get from Rhode Island to Australia. Are you telling me they don’t sell boats in Australia? It’s a gigantic island. I’ve never been to Australia but I bet everyone there has a boat and a surfboard.

This is not only a waste of taxpayers money, it put the coast guard’s life in jeopardy for absolutely no reason. The bottom line is they should’ve let them figure it out on their own. If they die they die. Not my problem. If you don’t wanna die then don’t sail to Australia in the middle of a blizzard. Darwinism. Anyone dumb enough to do that is bound to die within the next three months anyway. Simple math.

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5 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    February 17, 2015 at 11:37 am

    What do you expect? They’re Australian, which means they’re the descendants of a bunch of criminals. What do they care about wasting American taxpayer’s money? You really want to punish them? Make them work off what it cost the Coast Guard to rescue their dumb asses.

  • JayC
    February 16, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    Maybe they should rethink their hobby. Sailing might not be for them if they skip an important pre-planning step, like checking the weather.

  • Victor Zsasz
    February 16, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    There has got to be something that these idiots can be charged with. Reckless endangerment?? Criminal negligence?? Anything?? And they were using a boat from eBay in rough blizzard ridden seas?? If stupidity was criminal then these Einstein’s would be on death row.

    • Finnish Goalie
      February 16, 2015 at 10:57 pm

      Victor, you getting your knives ready or something?

  • Maggie the Cat
    February 16, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    That’s exactly what I thought when I heard this story. And they “bought it on eBay?” All that sun down in Australia must have boiled their brains.

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