Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship.
Who remembers these two winners?
The Southbridge crime duo known as Scrawny and Wide became Turtleboy famous in January after they robbed her deceased mother’s home…….DURING THE FUNERAL!! Which of course she skipped. Because…..disease.
This was the same mother she was gushing about on Facebook like they were BFFL’s.
She also stole from her dead father too.
Police said they were familiar with Ms. Davenport, who is also a suspect in the theft of life insurance checks paid to her brother after their father’s death.
“Alyce also has a history of larceny, identity theft and forgery,” the police report states.
Well, it looks like this turkey chub slamwich is out of jail, and the first thing she did was go right to the Turtleboy Sports Returns Facebook page to drop this update on us:
Well, that clears things up. She robbed her dead mother during her funeral to protect her. We must’ve missed that part during the FACKS checking portion of the blog. Thank you for clarifying. Now our media will be updated with her truths. Whatever that means.
She’s also upset that we’re upset that she is able to “live and eat well” as her mother raised her. And as Bret Killoran pointed out, she is eating quite well.
Give her a break though – she’s going to Planet Fitness……….for the tanning.
Turns out she had a perfectly good excuse for stealing her mother’s safe with $90,000 worth of stuff in it – she was hiding it from her mom’s “pretend boyfriend.” Out of love and loyalty.
The best part of that rant was the end:
“FYI and fan facts; my beloved mother wasn’t at her own funeral so why would I go? I paid my respects to her on an everyday basis not just her announced death day.”
She was just getting warmed up though, as she defended her honor in the comments.
So Mom’s spirit was with her while she was robbing her house for crack money. Thank God she got of jail so she could share her truths with us.
She made tons of sense:
Then she just started posting pictures of herself with her deceased mother, whose home she robbed while everyone else was at Mom’s funeral.
At this point it’s really only a matter of time until she reappears on Turtleboy again.