Join the Revolution and Like Turtleboy Sports on Facebook, and/or follow us on Twitter.

Like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page to follow our posts when our other page is arbitrarily suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, this will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Yesterday we shared this story about a local SJW from Southbridge who doesn’t like the fact that the Southbridge Police Department puts pictures of crack cocaine dealers they arrest on their Facebook page:

Southbridge Social Justice Warrior Defending Southbridge Crack Cocaine Dealers Is Obviously New In Town

Well as it turns out, the brave SJW, (who appears to be moving bales of hay, yet has no hay on her pants) Pamela Michelle Paquin, owns a small business that is kind of controversial with the animal rights folks. She takes road kill, skins it, and sells it as fur. I’m not even kidding you, she has a website.

You’ll notice that she’s even hired a model for all of her roadkill fur – herself.

Here’s part of her sales pitch:

Petite Mort Fur clients can stay warm and fabulous knowing they’ve made a compassionate and informed choice.

Right. Because nothing says “fabulous” like rocking a fresh pair of coyote mittens that may or may not have tread marks on them.

Pamela Paquin’s source for fashion is either “tres chic” or will make you shriek. She creates neck muffs, leg warmers, hats, purses and more from roadkill, or “accidental fur,” as she prefers to call it. As owner of Petite Mort Furs, a 2-year-old Boston-area company, she said she’s offering the fur industry an alternative to wild fur trapping and large-scale fur farms.

The animal rights folks are perplexed:

“We’d just say it’s in very poor taste,” said Kara Holmquist at the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, declining to elaborate.

But wait, it gets better. Her company’s name is Petite Mort. Guess what that translates to in French:

“Products by Petite Mort, which means “the little death” in French and also describes the sensation of orgasm”

Oh good. Her business has two meanings – 1) little death, and 2) orgasms. Because when I buy clothing I only want to buy from a business that will make me think about little animals getting run over by semi-trucks while having orgasms. My question is, why little death? Do all of her roadkill furs get hit by Ford Fiestas? Because if it gets run over by a big rig, that doesn’t sound like a very little death. Just sayin.

But wait, if gets even BETTER!!:

“The value that these products have is that they’re handmade, local and last a lifetime,” Paquin explains. “That’s not just couture and high end, but that’s also sustainable.” Each piece comes with a personal note explaining where and when the animal was found.

“Handmade.” I’d say more “tire made,” but that’s just me. And thank God she puts a note on every fur she sells that lets us know where the fur came from. Because I won’t buy a raccoon neck scarf that was hit on 95 North. Our family only buys locally, so if it wasn’t hit on 290, 190, 395, or 146, then Turtleboy won’t be buying it.

So how does she find these carcasses? Is there like an alarm bell that goes off every time a deer gets hit by a car?

Paquin works with animal control specialists to gather the carcasses, but skins many of them herself. She considers the process almost sacred and doesn’t care much for the “roadkill” label. “It’s a turnoff,” Paquin said. “It cheapens my product.”

Oh yea, wouldn’t wanna “cheapen the product.” It’s not like she’s finding dead animals in the road and selling it for $2,000. The roadkill fur business is high end stuff. Plus “roadkill” is so 2005. Haven’t you been keeping up to date on your politically correct social justice terminology? The correct term is “Non-binary trans-asphalt organic fur.”

One last thing we found out about this brilliant woman. She runs an AirBnB in her backyard. Not her house, her backyard. She actually built a teepee that has a bed in it, and people pay $85 a night to sleep in her backyard.

It all makes sense now. Yesterday we were kind of confused why someone who lives in Southbridge could say such hilariously moronic things on Facebook. it all makes perfect sense now.

P.S. Turns out Cam Newton actually is one of her clients and wears her roadkill to press conferences. And we all know what a winner Cam Newton is.

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Wormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing, Bennie’s Cafe,  JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban Barbecue, Smitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors, Solarreviews.net, The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno, Harris Auto Body, Rotti Power Equipment in West Boylston

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.