WTF

Turtleboy Is In Love With Alessia Cara – The Voice Of 19 Year Old Turtleboy

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I was watching the Seth Myers show last night when I heard a musical performance I will never forget. When Turtleboy hears a great song, he shares it. I’d never heard of Alessia Cara before last night, but she has the voice of an angel. She’s a 19 year old Canadian who Turtleboy may or may not be in love with now. I am listening to this song on repeat all day long and it gets better every time I hear it.

It’s like a mixture of rap with a voice like I’ve never heard before with an awesome beat. Why can’t more music be like this? She’s telling a story. A story about being at a party with loud music and obnoxious people, and all she wants to do is get the hell out of there so she can go and chill with her friends and talk about life and the future:

I’m sorry if I seem uninterested
Oh I’m not listenin’, oh I’m indifferent
Truly I ain’t got no business here
But since my friends are here, I just came to kick it
But really I would rather be at home all by myself
Not in this room with people who don’t even care about my well being
I don’t dance, don’t ask, I don’t need a boyfriend
So you can, go back, please enjoy your party
I’ll be here, somewhere in the corner
Under clouds of marijuana with this boy who’s hollerin’
And I can hardly hear
Over this music I don’t listen to
And I don’t wanna get with you
So tell my friends that I’ll be over here

Oh oh oh here, oh oh oh here
Oh oh oh I asked myself, what am I doin’ here?
Oh oh oh here, oh oh oh here
And I can’t wait ’til we can break up out of here

Excuse me if I seem a little unimpressed with this
An antisocial pessimist, but usually I don’t mess with this
And I know you mean only the best and your
Intentions aren’t to bother me, but honestly I’d rather be
Somewhere with my people, we can kick it and just listen to
Some music with a message, (Like we usually do)
And we’ll discuss our big dreams, how we plan, to take over the planet
So pardon my manners, I hope you’ll understand that I’ll be here (Ooh)
Not there in the kitchen
With the girl who’s always gossipin’ about her friends
Oh tell them I’ll be here
(Ooh) right next to the boy who’s throwin’ up
‘Cause he can’t take what’s in his cup no more
Oh God why am I here?

Oh oh oh here, oh oh oh here
Oh oh oh I asked myself, what am I doin’ here?
Oh oh oh here, oh oh oh here
And I can’t wait ’til we can break up out of here

Hours later congregatin’ next to the refrigerator
Some girl’s talkin’ ’bout a hater, she ain’t got none
How did it ever come to this? I should’ve never come to this
So holla at me, I’ll be in the car when you’re done
I’m stand-offish, don’t want what you’re offerin’
And I’m done talkin’, awfully sad it had to be that way
So tell my people when they’re ready that I’m ready
And I’m standin’ by the TV with my beanie low
Yo I’ll be over here

I so feel your pain girlfriend. Being 19 sucks, but at least you’re allowed to drink in Canada. Back when I was 19 I felt like going out was something you were supposed to do. And since the Blarney Stone wouldn’t accept my fake ID I always ended up at some loud ass bar filled with pretentious dooshznozzles, like On The Rocks. And all I wanted to do was go somewhere, shmoke, and chill out with friends. Alessia Cara feels my pain.

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Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

 

6 Comment(s)
  • Fillet o fish
    November 13, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    I’d shave my head with a cheese grater while chewing tinfoil before I’d listen to that again. They used to play that at Gitmo before the Red Cross made them stop.

  • Steven Stover
    November 13, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    I would fill her stocking with my gift certificates.

  • BobnMic
    November 12, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Hey this girl got pipes. Reminds me of Alicia Keys in a way. Cool and soulful. She is beyond her years because when I was 19, I just graduated from being 12. Maybe it’s a guy thing.

  • stinkfinger
    November 12, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    This fuckin’ blows.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    November 12, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    She has a good voice, and she’s definitely cute, but this isn’t my cup of tea.

  • Frogshit
    November 12, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    nah….

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