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In October Turtleboy took a stand against shitty Dunkin Donuts iced coffees like this one:
Turtleboy normally brews his own coffee in the Turtle lair, but sometimes when you’re in a rush you don’t mind treating yourself. At least that is what you are SUPPOSED to be doing. You could tell just by looking at this particular coffee that it would taste like cat piss. And it did.
We figured that everyone could agree that Dunkins needs to do better than this. At least shake the thing up for crying out loud. But we were wrong, and a “Vine famous” butthurt from South Carolina named Tobie Stevens used this as an example of our white privilege.
God that woman is the worst. Probably why she’s ranked 56th on the Turtleboy’s 2015 Naughty List Christmas Special, now on sale.
Anyway, here’s another pet peeve that we briefly addressed previously – trying to communicate with the Dunkin Donuts employee through the speaker. It’s the worst. Guaranteed every time Turtleboy pulls up to this thing all he hears is yippin and yappin in a tongue that Turtleboy is not at all familiar with. They know you’re there, but they just keep talking anyway, and you have no idea what they’re saying.
I don’t care that they’re speaking another language. I just wanna know two things, 1) when it’s my turn to speak, and 2) why they can’t turn the microphone off while they’re talking to their coworkers and other customers. Because Turtleboy NEVER knows when it’s his turn to speak. Usually Turtleboy starts by saying, “Hello,” which is followed by, “just one second,” which is followed by three minutes of this:
Look, I know this is a first world problem, but it drives Turtleboy up a wall. And if Mrs. Turtleboy is there she thinks it’s the funniest shit in the world because she loves to watch Turtleboy fail. One day Turtleboy Jr. will laugh at his old man as well. This will go on for literally 2 or 3 minutes before you finally say, “Hello” again. This time they’ll greet you with, “sorry, what you like?” Keep in mind there is no one ahead of you in the drive through after they’re done talking to the person at the window. But 10 times out of 10 they will just keep on talking until you say, “Hello” the second time.
I realize that these people don’t make much money and under appreciated. I also know that these women (and sometimes men) are extremely nice and they probably all have hearts of gold. If they don’t give a shit, I can’t say I blame them. But I think most people from the Worcester area know which Dunkins this is because it’s infamously bad. Is it like this at other Dunkins? Is this common practice, or is Turtleboy just cursed? Serious answers only.
P.S. I realize that Turtleboy is anti-filming vertically, and we would NEVER normally pull such a savage move. But this particular video was all about the audio, and not so much the visual, so it’s OK in this case.
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Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.