So all I’ve heard on talk radio all week is how scary the Baltimore Ravens supposedly are, and how they’re gonna give the New England Patriots all sorts of problems. Blah, blah, blah. Listen up – there’s no freaking way the Patriots are losing this game. None. As a matter of fact I’m predicting a 27-13 smackdown. Oh yea, and that legendary foresight is gonna make me $1,000 richer when I go down to the Perfect Game tomorrow and make that my official game prediction. If you’ve never been down to the Perfect Game for a Pats game, they will pay you $1,000 on the spot if you correctly pick the exact score. (If for whatever reason more than one person gets it right then only one person can win. I think you might have to fight to the death though).
Like I said, I’m not worried about this game in the least bit. I don’t care about the recent history. Yea we lost to them in 2009 but that was an abortion of a team. Worst team in the Belichick era. Randy Moss was an asshole that year. Adalius Thomas was captain dickweed in the locker room. Players were coming late to meetings. The secondary was a disaster. It was a nightmare of a season. We went 10-6. That’s as bad as things get around here.
This isn’t the 2009 or 2013 Patriots though. Julian Edelman and Troy Brown aren’t our starting cornerbacks. Benjamin Watson isn’t our starting tight end. Everyone’s all down on this team because the Bills beat us in a meaningless game and supposedly Terrell Suggs is gonna eat Nate Solder for lunch. Sure, Suggs might get his, but none of that is gonna matter because Darrelle Revis is going to emasculate Joe Flacco tomorrow. Newsflash – chuck it deep and hope for a flag is Flacco’s only move. Revis doesn’t get flagged. I predict three interceptions from the defense which should once and for all end the myth that Joe Flacco is “Mr. January.”
So what do you think Turtle riding nation? Let’s hear your final score predictions in the comments. I can’t give you $1,000 like the Perfect Game will, so I’d suggest you head down there if you’re as confident as I am in your prediction. And just for the record, if you want the money you actually have to go there for the game tomorrow.
P.S. If you can finish two “Gronk” sandwiches then your pictures goes on the wall. Be warned though, these things are massive.