Mainstream Media Fails

Turtleboy Spoke With Oxford Police Department: Sam Allen And Heather Melissa Lied About Jorge Zambrano’s Dog

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In yesterday’s Turtlegram, Stealin’ Sammy Allen wrote this fluff piece in a vain attempt to try to humanize the woman who allowed a dangerous cop killer to be around her young child. They got so much negative criticism that they pulled the article and combined the text in it with another article. They did not make an announcement about it and they thought no one would notice. But they did:

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But when we saw this part about the dog that Jorge Zambrano unleashed on the state police we had to do a double take:

Ms. Philip added that she went to Oxford to take possession of the pit bull Mr. Zambrano had with him when he was shot and killed in Oxford.

Ms. Philip said police have been “nothing but nice” to her in recent days. She said after the Oxford shootout, police spent six hours helping her search for the dog. She said when they eventually found the pet, state troopers let her take the animal home. The dog had been hiding in the closet with Mr. Zambrano, police said.

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We’re getting a lot of conflicting reports about the dog. As you can see, Sam Allen is reporting that the dog is alive. But she’s basing it off of what the employee of the month from a strip club on Southbridge Street told her. The Internet is buzzing with rumors right now:

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So we did the only sensible thing today and called the Oxford Police Department to find out. Here’s what we know:

  • The police do not acknowledge that they spent “six hours” helping this idiot search for her dead boyfriend’s attack dog. They only acknowledge that she was on the golf course looking. Additionally, Zambrano was killed at approximately 6 PM. Assuming she got there at 6:30 (and didn’t go to the hospital to see her dying boyfriend), this meant she searched until 12:30 AM. Yea, that’s believable.
  • She claims that the police “let her take the dog home.” Lie. According to a statement from the Oxford Police she took the dog to Tufts afterwards to be looked at.

So long story short, we don’t know if the dog is alive or not. Obviously you cannot trust the word of this woman:



All we know is that she lied when she told Stealin’ Sammy Allen that the OPD helped her look for the dog for six hours, and she did NOT take the dog home with her that night. All of this could have been discovered with a simple phone call to the Oxford Police. But apparently this was too much work for Karen Webber’s star millennial reporter, Stealin’ Sammy.

Why do you think Masslive is beating the Turtlegram to every single story? Because half of their staff is former Turtlegram employees that they got rid of because Stealin’ Sammy would work for less money. Watch out though Sammy, in a few years when you ask for a raise they’re probably gonna do the same to you. At that point you’re either gonna have to take some pole dancing classes with your girl Heather Philip, or you’re gonna have to come over to Turtleboy and be our new secretary.


P.S. Stealin’ Sammy also reported that Heather Philip would not tell her the dog’s name. The dog’s name is Gage. It must suck to be a “real journalist.”


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13 Comment(s)
  • Sammy M
    May 30, 2016 at 11:25 am

    Am I the only person here who fails to see a story in this particular article? So she referred to taking possession of the dog as taking the dog home when she took him to the vet first? Um, ok.

  • qwv
    May 28, 2016 at 7:21 am

    You are not so good at your job. Woof woof, there’s more to Millbury than you know!

  • Worc Taxpayer
    May 26, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    The dog’s name is Gage? As in 12 Gauge? It wouldn’t surprise me that the slimey whore Heather Philip or her cop killing slime ball boyfriend, who is now maggot food, misspelled gauge.

  • Jon
    May 26, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    I don’t have any information that u don’t already have. All I can do is confirm that other people besides just the stripper were looking for the dog at the golf course.

    My boss lives right behind the golf course on Pleasant Street in North Oxford and when he got home, his wife told him that some people had just come to the door looking for the dog. The two men were still in the area and my boss went over to ask them about it and they said they were looking for Zambranos dog. Then they drove away in a golf cart to continue looking.

  • Reddog
    May 26, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    Fuck you whore hay.

  • Shari
    May 26, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    that is funny because we live dorectly across the street from the house the ahole was held up in. We SPECIFICALLY asked a state police detective that was on scene about the dog. He said “the dog was shot by mistake a d ran off to the golf course where we just found it deceased”. That was approximately 7:30 Subday night.
    So either the state police are lying to us, OR everyone else is a is lying. Geeze. I will believe the police!

  • Karma Police
    May 26, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    Face it: The only people who get the Turtlegram today are those, what, 55+ (Boomers and The Greatest Generation)? And that is a patriotic lot. I would love to see a mass subscription cancellation drive based on the fact this idiotic “paper of record” ran a puff piece – full of unsubstantiated lies – defending a cop killer. Urge your parents (or grandparents) to cancel their subscriptions because this “paper” supports cop killers.

    Also, if every Turtle Rider gave just $1 to that awesome woman who shot that video last weekend, it would make a huge difference in her quality of life. I hope TBS contributed and I hope everyone would toss in just $1.

    • StupidIsAsStupidDoes
      May 26, 2016 at 2:55 pm

      Where do we do this?

    • May 26, 2016 at 6:05 pm

      I haven’t bought the Telegram in at least 5 years and I went to buy the paper the other day and it was freaking $2.00. I put it back in the rack. No way would I p[ay more than $.75 for it. What the hell does the Sunday paper cost?

      • Rick Ellbeg
        May 26, 2016 at 7:14 pm

        3 bucks

  • Clive's not racist, just ask him
    May 26, 2016 at 11:45 am

    When is Slammin’ Sammy’s appointment to get that gaping asshole bleached?!?

    • Wabbitt
      May 27, 2016 at 6:14 pm

      She keeps it brown so Clive will hate her less. It reminds him of his mouth – puckered and always spewing shit.

  • Dgaf
    May 26, 2016 at 11:41 am

    Lmao. Sucks to suck

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