Anyone who has ever watched the Felger and Mazz show understands their schtick. Mike Felger says dumbass, ridiculous things, intended to provoke Boston sports fans to call him up and yell at him. Mazz sits there and blindly agrees with everything Felger says, and pretends to actually have independent thoughts.
Felger is the master of the ratings. He single-handedly destroyed WEEI in the ratings when he came on the air a few years ago for 98.5 the Sports Hub. But it’s not because he ever says anything of value. It’s because he understands that angry Masshole callers make great radio. And he knows just how to poke the bear.
For the past several months Felger has pretended to believe that Tom Brady knowingly cheated by playing with deflated footballs. Obviously a million different scientific studies and basic logic tell you that they didn’t. We don’t need to get into why again, because we’ve already proven that Brady is innocent time and time again.
But today he reached the point where he’s no longer pretending to hide the fact that he’s troll-baiting. He has become the Dana Remian of sports talk radio. He doesn’t even believe the shit that came out of his mouth today:
If you didn’t watch it because you’re sitting in a board meeting right now and you don’t want your boss to know that you’re riding the turtle, here’s what he said in a nutshell – Brady is going to have a drop off this year because he won’t be able to use deflated balls.
I know, I know. You can’t make him stop. Your only defense is the commercial break. What sucks is that WEEI’s weakest show of the day is the 2-6 show, so changing the channel to listen to Ned Flanders is out of the question. For whatever reason EEI progressively gets worse as the day goes on. It’s like they’re purposely trying to make us listen to this blowhard hack from Wisconsin.
But here’s the thing – getting fired up about it means Felger wins. Because he doesn’t honestly believe that Brady will decline this year because of some Goddamn PSI. He’s obviously a sharp guy, as you can see from the sweater vest on a 90 degree day. And no one with a brain honestly thinks Brady needs deflated balls to win. After all, the balls in the Super Bowl were as legitimate as they’ve ever been in any game ever. And what did Brady do with those balls? Oh I dunno, he just carved up the greatest defense since the 85 Bears en route to the Super Bowl MVP.
Nope, Felger knows damn well that Tom Brady will most likely have a slight decline this year. Because that’s what happens to 38 year old quarterbacks. Especially when you consider the fact that Brady had ZERO injuries to any of his receivers last season. So Felger has figured out a way to “prove” that Brady cheated – point to his numbers, which will probably decline slightly.
He wants Turtleboy, Danny from Quincy, Mike from Attleboro, Steve from Fall River, and every other Patriot loving yahoo out there to call up and yell at him. He gets off on it. So calling up 98.5 tomorrow presents two major problems for Turtleboy:
- Felger wins.
- Turtleboy is banned from all shows on 98.5 the Sports Hub because we worked for WEEI for a couple of months and Marc Bertrand is our arch-nemesis.
But we have a solution. First of all, we’ll be using a fake name. Obviously. We can’t announce it on here because Marc The Hippo Bertrand and Jimmy Stewart read Turtleboy every day. Those two are the ones who snitched to management and they’ve both blocked Turtleboy on Twitter (so have Fred Toucher and Scott Zolack – it’s company policy). We’ll post on Facebook tomorrow and let you know the name we’re using.
Our plan is simple – don’t even focus on the ridiculousness of what he said. The entire point of the phone call is to let Felger know one thing – he is permanently banned from Worcester. Forever. If Pearl Jam is playing at the DCU Center, we will be down there to make sure he does not enter those doors. Central MA is for civilized, hot takes only. Keep your bullshit east of 495. We have no room for sweater vest wearing professional trolls and their pre-pubescent yes men in the Woo.