WTF

Turtleboy Will Be Calling Felger And Mazz Tomorrow To Let Felger Know He Is Permanently Banned From Worcester

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Anyone who has ever watched the Felger and Mazz show understands their schtick. Mike Felger says dumbass, ridiculous things, intended to provoke Boston sports fans to call him up and yell at him. Mazz sits there and blindly agrees with everything Felger says, and pretends to actually have independent thoughts.

76br0

Felger is the master of the ratings. He single-handedly destroyed WEEI in the ratings when he came on the air a few years ago for 98.5 the Sports Hub. But it’s not because he ever says anything of value. It’s because he understands that angry Masshole callers make great radio. And he knows just how to poke the bear.

For the past several months Felger has pretended to believe that Tom Brady knowingly cheated by playing with deflated footballs. Obviously a million different scientific studies and basic logic tell you that they didn’t. We don’t need to get into why again, because we’ve already proven that Brady is innocent time and time again.

But today he reached the point where he’s no longer pretending to hide the fact that he’s troll-baiting. He has become the Dana Remian of sports talk radio. He doesn’t even believe the shit that came out of his mouth today:

If you didn’t watch it because you’re sitting in a board meeting right now and you don’t want your boss to know that you’re riding the turtle, here’s what he said in a nutshell – Brady is going to have a drop off this year because he won’t be able to use deflated balls.

LOL.

I know, I know. You can’t make him stop. Your only defense is the commercial break. What sucks is that WEEI’s weakest show of the day is the 2-6 show, so changing the channel to listen to Ned Flanders is out of the question. For whatever reason EEI progressively gets worse as the day goes on. It’s like they’re purposely trying to make us listen to this blowhard hack from Wisconsin.

But here’s the thing – getting fired up about it means Felger wins. Because he doesn’t honestly believe that Brady will decline this year because of some Goddamn PSI. He’s obviously a sharp guy, as you can see from the sweater vest on a 90 degree day. And no one with a brain honestly thinks Brady needs deflated balls to win. After all, the balls in the Super Bowl were as legitimate as they’ve ever been in any game ever. And what did Brady do with those balls? Oh I dunno, he just carved up the greatest defense since the 85 Bears en route to the Super Bowl MVP.

Nope, Felger knows damn well that Tom Brady will most likely have a slight decline this year. Because that’s what happens to 38 year old quarterbacks. Especially when you consider the fact that Brady had ZERO injuries to any of his receivers last season. So Felger has figured out a way to “prove” that Brady cheated – point to his numbers, which will probably decline slightly.

felgermazz

He wants Turtleboy, Danny from Quincy, Mike from Attleboro, Steve from Fall River, and every other Patriot loving yahoo out there to call up and yell at him. He gets off on it. So calling up 98.5 tomorrow presents two major problems for Turtleboy:

  1. Felger wins.
  2. Turtleboy is banned from all shows on 98.5 the Sports Hub because we worked for WEEI for a couple of months and Marc Bertrand is our arch-nemesis.

But we have a solution. First of all, we’ll be using a fake name. Obviously. We can’t announce it on here because Marc The Hippo Bertrand and Jimmy Stewart read Turtleboy every day. Those two are the ones who snitched to management and they’ve both blocked Turtleboy on Twitter (so have Fred Toucher and Scott Zolack – it’s company policy). We’ll post on Facebook tomorrow and let you know the name we’re using.

Our plan is simple – don’t even focus on the ridiculousness of what he said. The entire point of the phone call is to let Felger know one thing – he is permanently banned from Worcester. Forever. If Pearl Jam is playing at the DCU Center, we will be down there to make sure he does not enter those doors. Central MA is for civilized, hot takes only. Keep your bullshit east of 495. We have no room for sweater vest wearing professional trolls and their pre-pubescent yes men in the Woo.

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22 Comment(s)
  • September 30, 2016 at 4:32 am

    But I have experience in financial services,
    and I know how these conferences work. ‘ They cater and will customize your
    order to feed your team. The Cowgirls were in a zone last weekend in Knoxville.

  • BobnMic
    July 9, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    LOL I just heard you TB on Felger and Mazz. That was really great. It’s too bad that when they are losing an argument they have to hang up on you. And that fat bozo in the booth that keep saying Worcester is a dump. Fuck him too.

  • TurtleBoySpurts
    July 9, 2015 at 11:42 am

    “But it’s not because he ever says anything of value. It’s because he understands that angry Masshole callers make great radio. And he knows just how to poke the bear…But today he reached the point where he’s no longer pretending to hide the fact that he’s troll-baiting. ”

    ROFLMAO

    I realize you don’t even know how ridiculous you sound spurting this faux outrage, given that this is precisely your business model.

    • Frank Lee
      July 9, 2015 at 12:18 pm

      He may be trolling but he’s not baiting. Baiting implies you don’t believe a word of what your saying. TB makes some good points that have assholes like you reacting. And it’s your reaction and your lack of an actual argument that keeps me entertained.

      And dude drop the whole rolling on the floor stupidity. Nobody believes you were.

    • GoneWest
      July 9, 2015 at 2:25 pm

      Welcome back Mr. Neal!

      • TurtleBoySpurts
        July 10, 2015 at 1:33 pm

        It’s so good to know you fuckers miss me. Kiss, kiss…

  • strata
    July 9, 2015 at 11:02 am

    Mazz sits there and blindly agrees with everything Felger says, and pretends to actually have independent thoughts.

    How very true!

  • Kyle from Entercom
    July 9, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Hi TB,

    I have to disagree with you on this one. Banning Felder from Worcester will only make him win more. He doesn’t want to go to Worcester for anything. He’ll gladly accept the banning. Better punishment would be to force him to spend one day in Worcester. Preferably on Vernon Hill. Just to watch his skin crawl. But, all that being said, he’s right. Everyone and their mother outside of New England will jump on that when Brady’s numbers fall this year. He was just preparing us for the inevitable.

  • Yes
    July 9, 2015 at 8:43 am

    Being on the radio in Worcester is like getting the 10th place trophy in a 12 person race. It’s not dead last, but it’s pretty damn close, and to anyone but you, it’s completely irrelevant. Just like Worcester. Irrelevant and meaningless to anyone outside of Central MA. If you’re from Worcester, you’re basically from nowhere.

    • They are all hacks
      July 9, 2015 at 10:44 am

      Is that you Bertrand? Didn’t the curly haired boyfriend, aka your hero, go to college in Worcester?

      Of course Felger would never step foot in Worcester, he would get lost anywhere outside of 495 (where the scary dragons are). Nantucket prep boy wouldn’t last a day here anyway unless “the wood” was there to protect him.

    • Finnish Goalie
      July 9, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      Sorry to hear about Chris Squire. 🙁

  • They are all hacks
    July 9, 2015 at 7:00 am

    In afternoon drive (2-6 p.m.), Felger and Massarotti was first for the 12th straight ratings period with a 12.8 share. WEEI’s Dale and Holley program, which also includes Jerry Thornton, was second with a 7.6.

    http://www.boston.com/sports/2015/07/08/sports-hub-first-weei-fifth-spring-nielsen-audio-ratings/OQmsnn8ikPvXWxisUqSVGP/story.html?s_campaign=bcom:gigya:twitter

    Dale and Holley were 7th, Thornton brought them up to 2nd place. It should be his show.

    • wabbitt
      July 9, 2015 at 3:56 pm

      A 12.8 in a market the size of Boston is fucking insane. That’s like Howard Stern in New York at the height of his popularity numbers. And those idiots are pulling down those kind of ratings? Which executive at Arbitron is Mazz sucking off?

  • They are all hacks
    July 9, 2015 at 6:52 am

    I have to disagree turtleboy, Jerry Thornton is the best thing on talk radio.

    You want to talk pathetic radio then you only need to turn to the geriatric time slot on WEEI 6-10 with Callahan, who never matured past the frat house, and Dennis/Minihane, two hacks in recovery who take great delight in discussing how much people weigh, what their paycheck is, and women (as if they had a chance). I hear occasionally they discuss sports, but couldn’t attest to that as I had to stop listening.

    Bertrand never shuts ups. It is painful listening to him. I think Zolak (“Scott from Wrentham,”) has the sweetest gig in radio as he only has to utter a handful of words the entire time slot. I am guessing he has a full bar set up on set.

    I couldn’t stomach Mazz when he would fill in on the Big Show, and couldn’t believe my ears when I heard they paired Felger and Mazz together for a 4 hour time slot. Mazz spits when he talks in near hysterics, which is pretty much every time he opens his mouth.

    Don’t listen. You feed the trolls and they never go away.

    • GoneWest
      July 9, 2015 at 8:27 am

      This guy is trying to break out of the friend zone with Erin Andrews.

      • They are all hacks
        July 9, 2015 at 10:46 am

        What makes you think I am a guy?

        • GoneWest
          July 9, 2015 at 2:11 pm

          Call you Caitlyn?

          • They are all hacks
            July 9, 2015 at 3:11 pm

            Talking sports, must be a guy or a transgendered guy.

            Got it.

          • Yes
            July 9, 2015 at 3:24 pm

            You must be a woman considering you get so sensitive to humor.

            You also know entirely too much about radio, and not just radio, local radio in a disgusting, dead, irrelevant zone of America known as Central MA.

            In short: sweet life.

          • They are all hacks
            July 9, 2015 at 3:58 pm

            Sensitive to humor or really bad attempts at humor? cross I bear I guess.

            Oh Bertrand – make Zolak work for his pay check by letting him get a word in more than once in a great while.

  • Lmfao
    July 9, 2015 at 2:41 am

    Could those two guys be anymore queer?!?!

  • BobnMic
    July 9, 2015 at 12:26 am

    Oh TB I love this one. I think I’ve said this on here before that those two idiots Felger and Mazz just hates everything great about our multiple championship Boston teams. They don’t see anything with optimism they always go the other way with pessimism. And why? Who the fuck knows?

    They hate John Farrell. (Manager of the Boston Red Sox for you southern idiots with your confederate flags). John Farrell has got handed a team from the GM that is not good. Surrounding a pitching staff around a very fragile Clay Buchholz? Nope. Not even the almighty himself could not make that work and I’m not overly religious.

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