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Twin City Buttermule Turns Into Dairy Mason Legal Expert After Burger King Employee Allegedly Videotapes Her Kid Puking And Uploads To Snapchat

Twin City Buttermule Turns Into Dairy Mason Legal Expert After Burger King Employee Allegedly Videotapes Her Kid Puking And Uploads To Snapchat

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A local mother caused a stir today in the wonderful kingdom of Fitchburg when she posted this tall tale to the Discussing Fitchburg Now Facebook page about her recent experience at Burger King:

So her kid got super sick from Burger King and started yacking all over the floor while an employee named “Hannah” gleefully recorded it all and uploaded it to Snapface. Now Samantha Bowman is suing/pursuing legal actions against a minimum wage worker for filming something she saw in public.

Where’s the video? Who knows? Internet mobs don’t need evidence. All they need is a ratchet (any ratchet will do) to type out an unconfirmed anecdote and it’s automatically taken as fact:

Why does this ALWAYS happen? It’s just amazing how this happens every time. You can literally post anything on the Internet and mobs of morons will believe it because it makes them feel good to digitally have your back when something shitty happens to you.

In case you couldn’t tell from Samantha’s brilliant writing style, there’s obviously more to this story. Plus, exhibit B:

You can’t trust anyone who uses a Facebook filter or routinely takes bathroom selfies. That’s just science. Nevertheless, this stranger posted it on Discussing Fitchburg Now so all the idiots just lined up to believe it.

But the thing about Fitchburg that people don’t know is, they have more lawyers per capita than any other municipality. And no one is more familiar with the law than Samantha Bowman herself:

It’s true. You can take all the pictures you want in a Burger King with your iMachine. But don’t you dare switch it over to video mode. THAT is illegal. Does this look like the kind of person who isn’t familiar with the Massachusetts General Laws?

Dairy Mason over here knows the laws inside and out. And if she says it’s illegal, then it’s illegal.

Luckily they are at home “resting” after this traumatic event, and the BK employee has already been fired:

I’m sure Burger King management not only made a snap judgement call in regard to personnel based solely on an anecdotal phone call from a local buttermule, but they also disclosed exactly what internal actions they were taking with their private company. Yup, that DEFINITELY happened.

Don’t doubt her either – she’s already contacted her lawyers:

On a Sunday, mind you. That’s how tight she is with her legal staff. They never take a day off.

She was far from the only lawyer chiming in. It was basically an Avvo question and answer forum:

Thank God we have more than one Internet lawyer on the case. Turns out you are allowed to video record, you just have to have the mute button on.

And as another Flatbrim Sockolove pointed out, you’re not allowed to post minors to public forums:

It’s true. I’ve never seen children’s pictures posted on Facebook. Ever.

Oh, and to the legion of doubters on Facebook, she has nothing to prove to you. Even though she specifically brought this to your attention by posting it in a public city forum:

This story keeps getting better. Now the videos have been pulled from Burger King, she’s gotten ahold of the General Manager himself/herself, and the video shows the employee taping her daughter AND uploading it to Snapgram.

But wait…..you’re telling me there’s video cameras in Burger King? But…..that’s illegal!! You can’t videotape people in a public setting! My Facebook legal team told me that! Oh wait, they don’t have audio, so it’s all good in the hood.

Here’s my question – where’s the video at? She made this huge stink but didn’t show the video to anyone. Turns out the video is no longer on social media, she just wants to make sure it ceases to exist completely:

Yup, time to go through her phone! Gonna have to call in the FBI for this one. Because if it’s no longer in her phone then it can’t exist. It’s not like she could’ve sent it to a million people, or had one of her followers download the video when she had it up. And when you delete videos and photos from your phone they are gone forever. They don’t go to a “trash” folder for 30 days while they wait in limbo. Yup, making sure it’s no longer on her phone should fix the problem.


Her post was like a sounding call for ratchet Moms everywhere to talk about what they would’ve done in such a situation:

Uhoh! She’d be “throwing hands.” In front of her daughter. Because someone quietly videotaping your kid in a public setting is far more detrimental than the psychological impact on a child that comes from watching their mother exchange fisticuffs with a Burger King cashier. It’s all good though, because she waited until marriage…..

I think?

Then there was this:

No you didn’t. That didn’t even happen once Kristen, and you know it. Stop trying to insert your food poisoning story into every conversation. Just accept the fact that your life isn’t that interesting, and you don’t have any good stories to contribute to any conversation.

It was only a matter of time until others came along to warn people about the past history of Dairy Mason:

Not that I trust a flat brimmer who thinks “sell phones” are a thing. But I kind of believe it at the same time.

Oh, and according to others we spoke with, it wasn’t actually her child in the first place. It was her boy toy Jose Mauras’:

Don’t let them tell you the racing stripe fade went out of style in the 90’s Jose. You keep doing you. I mean, you’re married to a legal expert, so obviously things are going great already.

Turns out Lionel Butts’ boyfriend knows a thing or two about the law himself:

Oh good, he was charged with attempted murder and A&B against his ex-girlfriend’s sister less than five years ago. Dairy Mason will shack up with a guy that gets arrested for beating women, but she draws the line about videotaping in Burger King.

Shockingly she took the post down once the questions started getting tougher. But as you know, screenshots are your friend, and the Internet is forever Samantha. 

The bottom line is that the second you step out of your house you surrender any expectation of privacy. Just assume that no matter what you are doing there is a camera on you, and the video will be uploaded to Instabook. Don’t like it? Sit at home all day and be a hermit. The rest of us have come to terms with the modern world, and Burger King is not your safe space.

Also, no one taped your kid and put it on social media. Just sayin.

23 Comment(s)
  • Al
    January 8, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    I mean i was with you until the baby daddy, didnt seem like he said anything but ok

    • January 11, 2018 at 6:34 am

      This girl is trash in high school i was a jr she was a freshman she walked up to me didn’t have a clue who she was and dumped milk on me . Then 10 years latter went to my sister’s home and tried to drag her out and beat her up in front of my 1 year old niece because my sister worked with her ( my sister was her ast manager sam was just staff ) and told her boyfriend she had guys coming to the job for her. Straight trash

  • vicxh
    January 8, 2018 at 5:06 pm

    I would take those two whoppers.

    • which chrissy is the real chrissy
      January 8, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      lol vic

  • Rick Shaw
    January 8, 2018 at 3:28 pm

    What a nasty war pig. I’m shocked that she was at Burger King feeding her fat face. What do you want to bet her kid is a fat little piggy too.

  • Some Guy
    January 8, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    Goddamn! Those are some nice titties!!!

  • Mayor Lynch
    January 8, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    Taking pictures of an unshoveled sidewalk in Fitchburg is illegal. Just sayin’.

  • Urban Democrat
    January 8, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    i like me some wite girlz

    dey dont hit back

  • Ralph
    January 8, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    She needs to be on a pill … RETROACTIVE BIRTH CONTROL !

  • Dave Lind
    January 8, 2018 at 11:20 am

    Why is it that no one ever just gets sick anymore? It always gets blamed on food poisoning. No, I dont have the flu. It must be the whoppers fault.

  • Finn
    January 8, 2018 at 9:39 am

    Turns out Samantha wasn’t always squeaky clean either.

    “At 4:30 a.m., the Amherst Police Department arrested Samantha Bowman, 18, of 1790 Mass Avenue #R, Lunenburg, MA on charges of unlawful possession of alcohol and possession of a controlled drug. Bowman was released on $600 personal recognizance bail, with an arraignment date set for December 27, 2012 at the Milford District Court.”

    Maybe if she had a job at Burger King she wouldn’t have been drinking and popping pills with the wrong crowd.

    But it looks like she popped out a kid and now is a superior mom. Sounds about right.

    Get fucked Samantha.

    • Name
      January 8, 2018 at 10:20 am

      It is not even her kid. She has been calling it her kid since she got with her boyfriend. It is a huge joke.

  • DD
    January 8, 2018 at 7:34 am


  • chris rock rocks
    January 8, 2018 at 5:55 am

    slide that gunt to the side

  • bouncy bouncy
    January 8, 2018 at 5:48 am

    Huge tits sure but consider if her she were at a reasonable weight and body-fat to lean tissue ratio. If this young woman were say 140 pounds as opposed to 220 those H cup boobs might be far smaller as the breast is mainly fat, it all shrinks up together at a healthier weight.

    How long before her murderous Caribbean boyfriend assaults her and it makes the papers? I give it less than 6 months. Why are we in cold new england tormented by invaders from every hot climate around the world. Doh! I forget bc everything free in here Massachusetts so long as your from somewhere else.

    • Heeeerre PigyPiggyPigggy
      January 8, 2018 at 7:07 am

      all that jigglin’ make ya cum quick. I’d blast frozen ropes all over them areolas and then be really ashamed and question my life choices.

    • Stunt Penis
      January 8, 2018 at 9:13 am

      As the saying goes: Fat girl titties don’t count.

  • Lol
    January 8, 2018 at 12:01 am

    Oh man that is one big bitch. Literally.

    • James wOOd
      January 8, 2018 at 6:06 am


  • Homey Skooled
    January 7, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    “Kimberly Curry” — Watch out for that one! For God’s sake it’s only ONE sentence “Normally a manger is ok during ever shift. Hoenstly these chicks should lose there job.” WHAT? I’m glad there’s a manger who’s ok during ever. And if not, call the Hoe’s and offer they a job. God if she sucks half as good as she writes, your pinky toe is in for one helluva good night !

  • Heat Miser
    January 7, 2018 at 11:11 pm

    My “friend” videotapes kids in public all the time. I’m more of an old Polaroid man, personally. You just have to be professional about it. For instance, you should always wear pants under your trench coat. And try keeping your white van clean for guests. Having a puppy is a great icebreaker to start a conversation. However, definitely never dress as a clown to try and meet kids. I learned this the hard way. Kids are terrified of them! Thanks John Wayne Gacy and fucking “IT”!

    • hate
      January 7, 2018 at 11:33 pm


  • Burt Hurtensteiner
    January 7, 2018 at 10:49 pm

    I give this article an A-. Bravo TBS!

    Keep ’em coming.

    PS: she has a nice rack.

    The real Burt

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