Hoodrat Heroes

Two Years After Wedding GoFundMe Woman Still Engaged Looks For Female CNA On Fitchburg Facebook Group For Grundlehog Fiance Who Will Yell At You, Also Must Do Her Laundry


Back in 2017 someone published this blog about a meat blob from Fitchburg trying to get strangers to pay for his GoFundMe wedding while hiding behind the Boston Strong logo in order to do so.

TL;DR wah, wah, wah, pay for my wedding, wah, wah, wah.

Well it’s been almost two years now, and they’re still not married, so it looks like that was a scam. Shocking, I know. But his fiance reemerged on the Discussing Fitchburg Now Facebook group with this unusual inquiry:

So let me get this straight. You’re looking to hire an experienced CNA, who can work random hours throughout the night or day, and is willing to change adult diapers, catheter draining, baths, meal prep and feeding. And when you have a moment off from that work you almost must clean the house. Oh, and you have a vagina and ride the bus with him to all appointments, and he’s a huge dick most of the time but you have to be nice to him anyway because he’s a good person on the inside.

As one commenter put it….

Here’s my question – when does she help? She’s looking for someone to do the work all hours of the day and night. Is she never home during those times? Because it sounds like this guy is completely incapable of doing anything, and if that’s the case social security should cover having someone with him full time.

Also, there is a process for this. You go on Care.com and get someone with credentials who you can verify. Or, you could do the more responsible thing and ask random people on Discussing Fitchburg Now. Whatever you feel is safer. It’s not like there’s a lot of ratchet people on the Discussing Fitchburg Now Facebook page or anything like that.

Some people did offer her contacts that could help her out, but she was more looking for someone who would sort through her perpetual fiance’s fecal matter for slightly more than the minimum wage.

In March her fiance was looking for someone in the Leominsterites Unite Facebook group, and one person commented that from experience this would be a bad idea.

Turns out she wasn’t the only one.

This chick is a slob?

Never would’ve guessed it. I can only imagine what the musty odor of grundle sweat and broken dreams smells like on a hot summer’s day in their house.

Of course the weirdest part about her request is that he specifically asks for a female nurse. I can understand a guy asking for a male nurse, but asking for a chick is just super creepy. Granted we’ve all seen a lot of movies that start out like that, and when the wife shows up she gets mad at first before finally giving into her inhibitions. But usually the guy isn’t a beached beluga attached to his own urine by a chord. She explained why he wanted a woman:

“He has issues with men in close contact.”

Translation – men don’t give him chub.

Hard pass on that one, but good luck finding a qualified female nurse on a Fitchburg Facebook page who’s willing to be shit on while changing your fiance’s shit and folding your laundry when she gets a free minute.


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10 Comment(s)
  • ExtraTerminalVelocity
    May 24, 2019 at 4:10 am

    If anyone deserved to be slapped across the face with their own shunt, this dude might just be it.

  • Joe Dummer the non-union plumber
    May 20, 2019 at 2:44 am

    But, but… “We do have a cat.” Uh, does the pussy smell?

    She looks like a lumpy, cancerous potato.

    Hydrocephalus? I’ll install a spigot on his skull for drainage, not even for scale. Such a deal I have for you!

  • Kim Wescott
    May 18, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    The PCA bought him a motorized wheelchair? And he let her? What a POS!

  • Rockets Redglare
    May 18, 2019 at 7:33 am

    Have they considered getting married at Sea World?

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    May 17, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    Pig Bitch. I bet she grunts when she takes a shit. And he is exactly the same. Whats wrong with him? Nothing a good days wouldn’t fix

  • Alex reimer the dainty creamer, and CNA dreamer.
    May 17, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    Ummm. How much does this pay and where can I sign up? Things @ EEI are dicey. Pissants. But if I get in here they can never fire me! Lgbtq8675309!

  • Fat guys with beards and glasses never turn out well
    May 17, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    I can imagine that her ass crack smells like a combo of chronic halitosis and spoiled tuna fish.

  • Deflateddoritodinks
    May 17, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Why is everyone assuming these clowns will actually pay anyone? A staffing agency would charge about $100,000 a year for all this shit, and who says Masshealth would pay anymore than $100 a week since he can do all this crap himself which he seems to be doing right now anyway?

  • dball31211
    May 17, 2019 at 6:47 pm

    Never trust a cripple!

  • Mantis Toboggan M.D.
    May 17, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Thankfully I’m not a gynecologist in Fitchburg

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