UMass Comes From 13 Down To Beat St. Bonaventure And Make Their Fans Sad Face

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With the UMass Minutemen down by 13 points to St. Bonaventure with under nine minutes remaining, I was already making up reasons in my head that it wasn’t a big deal. They’d still be 13-2, and St. Bony’s is a conference pain in the ass that always plays them hard. Chaz Williams was having a terrible day, and there’s just no way he’d play like this again.

Then, I was reminded why I love this freaking team – because they’re a blue-collar, scrappy, irrepressible, unbreakable force of nature.

It seemed like we were down by 12 or 13 the entire game. Every time we scored a nice bucket and seemed to gain some momentum, some moron in a brown jersey walked down the court and buried a 16 foot jumper. FML. It was just one of those games. The tide began to turn with a thunderous Raphiael Putney dunk, to get them within single digits.

Then Chaz got em within six with six minutes to go.

Then with under five minutes to go another Putney layup made it a four point game.

Then a three point play by SAMPSON Carter got them within three. (side note: my first born son will definitely be named Sampson or TurtleBoy Jr.).

Then a layup by Trey Davis with under 1:30 to go got them within two and the Mullins Center was rocking it like was 1995.

That’s when this happened:

Trey freaking Davis. With Chaz gone next year he is the future. I’ve often wondered if he had the minerals that Chaz has. That was clearly confirmed by that obvious sack check. There was simply no way UMass could lose after that.

The box score will say that St. Bony’s turned the ball over four times in the final 1:22. The problem I have with that stat is that it implies that St. Bony’s screwed up. Nope. They were just overwhelmed by a team that was vastly superior to them. The UMass “slap the floor” defense forced them into turnover…

after turnover

after turnover


Chaz, Putney, and Sampson were an unstoppable force defensively. They were pretty good all game, but as usual the refereeing was a disgrace to humanity. Sometimes referees just want to do something. They’re bored if they don’t blow their whistle, so I get that. But I really wish they wouldn’t ruin the game. All I’m saying is, they better call the games this way when VCU comes to UMass. Without being able to molest Chaz and Trey it will be difficult for Shaka Smart’s “Havoc” defense to actually do what it is designed to do.

There were actually some St. Bony’s fans in the house today. I guess any reason to leave Buffalo is a good reason. Now I don’t mind if you come and support your team. Where your colors and clap when they score. But you should really avoid speaking at all costs. Whatever you do, don’t yell while UMass is shooting free throws and stand up and yell out specific players names when they score. No one gives a shit what the anonymous players in brown are named. It gives us all a reason to hate you. Then after you get your self all fired up because you’re about to beat the #19 team in the country on the road, your team gets a good ol’ fashioned UMass facial. You will feel like an idiot, and look like this:


Sad face bro. Sad face. You guys look like a bag of Reese’s Pieces. Take a lap dude. Maybe sit out a play or two.

After the Davis basket put UMass up by 1, a Sampson Carter steal and a St. Bony’s foul put Chaz on the line. Being a 100% Alpha Male, Chaz of course buried both free throws. But UMass was only up three with under 10 seconds to go. St. Bony’s still had a chance to tie, and their leading scorer is a 3-point shooting guard. But Chaz Williams isn’t a National Player of the Year candidate because he’s a nice guy, so he did this….

Minerals. Big ones. This put Putney on the line with a chance to ice it, and put the game away. If you want to see the look of defeat on St. Bony’s fans then watch their reaction after the free throw….

Yup. That’s why we’re ranked and you’re St. Bony’s. Good job. Good effort.

I know the game wasn’t a sellout, but I’d estimate there were close to 8,000 fans there, which is pretty impressive since school isn’t in session. The UMass fan base is an interesting bunch. Lot of people in the 40-70 age range. And they all like to wear UMass sweatshirts with collars underneath. The student section will obviously start filling up once school comes back and all the local boobs in Southwest realize they can get drunk at a round robin, go to the Mullins Center, yell the F word around a bunch of children and old people, and then go out for a night of debauchery. That’s when the Mullins Center is going to turn into Curry-Hicks cage.

The fan of the day though was this guy I’ve seen on TV all the time. He sits in the front row of the student section and yells the ENTIRE GAME. Most of his ire today was directed at the St. Bony’s coach. If you were in the house tonight then you heard someone yelling, “He’s on the court, he’s on the court,” while pointing at the coach every time one of his toe’s touched the out of bounds line. I have no idea if he got in the coaches head or not, but I appreciated the effort. Either way, I’m sure the coach thought he was a nuisance and a pain in the ass, which makes him the winner of that showdown. He’s the African-American fella in the UMass hoody with hands on head in the picture here:


Well, it came to my attention that this guy’s name is Joshua Brown, and he’s a frequent reader of TurtleBoySports. We’re also Facebook friends. He may have just passed Brian Long and Marc Bertrand as the #1 UMass fan in my latest poll. Josh, if you’re reading this, you’re the man and we need to meet. Next time I’m there we need to get an exclusive interview dude.


Couple of other notes

  • UMass has by far the biggest coaching staff ever assembled for a college basketball team. There are more suits on this team than on Wall Street. Also one unidentified smokeshow in a pants suit. Nice.



  • The boys who mop up the floors at UMass are the best in college basketball. There’s like 10 of em, and man they mop the shit out of that floor. One of the refs was treating the kid like he was a manager at an iPhone sweatshop. Kid absolutely dominated that floor and the crowd gave him a standing ovation. It was surreal. One of the boys had a sweet Fresh Prince haircut, that I pray to God is making a comeback. TurtleBoy pulled a creeper move at halftime so you could see it in all it’s glory.


  • After the game was an alumni game that I wished I stayed and watched. It was the first year they are holding this and I hope it’s an annual tradition. When TurtleBoy went to UMass he was not blessed with the type of amazing team that we have now. Never even made the NIT. But the ghosts of UMass past were out in full effect, and it was the complete UMass pants tent. Coach Lou Roe, Dana Dingle, Luke Bonner, Micah Brand, Jonathan DePina, Monty Mack (who has graduated from stealing DVD’s to stealing iTunes gift cards), and many more….


I’m definitely inspired after this to write an upcoming blog. Who are the Top 10 players who came AFTER Marcus Camby? This is my first draft:

1. Chaz Williams

2. Monty Mack

3. Gary Forbes

4. Rayshaun Freeman

5. Stephon Lasme

6. Anthony Gurley

7. Chris Lowe

8. Ricky Harris

9. Cady Lalanne

10. Raphail Putney

That’s a pretty rough draft right there, so please chill out before you flip out on me for forgetting obvious people. Like I said, I’ll write this blog later when I’ve cooled down a little bit.

  • Sign guy is still brining the heat after all these years


This team can beat ANYONE. Arizona, Syracuse, Ohio State. Anyone. It’s not because they’re better than those teams, who have higher ranked recruits and a history of winning. It’s because they have big ones. They are never out of a game (even when they shouldn’t allow certain teams to be IN the game in the first place). I did forget how great of a conference the A-10 is, even with the losses of Xavier, Butler, and Temple. There will be more tough games like this until they finally get to the NCAA tournament. WHEN they get into the tournament, not IF. But they should lose no less than four or five games. That will get them a top 3 seed. Just thinking about them gives me a little Chaz Williams pants tent. I simply cannot wait, and TurtleBoySports will be there for the whole journey.

Go U!!!

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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16 Comment(s)
  • Blong
    January 12, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    1. Monty Mack

    2. Chaz Williams

    3. STEPHANE Lasme

    4. RASHAUN Freeman

    5. Ricky Harris

    6. Gary Forbes

    7. Chris Lowe

    8. Anthony Gurley

    9. Tony Gaffney

    10. Terrell Vinson

  • Zach
    January 12, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    The obvious miss in the top 10 is Tony Gaffney. You’re welcome for not freaking out.

  • Blong
    January 12, 2014 at 5:56 pm
  • Blong
    January 12, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Also, if you are going to try and record video from nose bleed seats, you need to invest in a camera.

    • January 12, 2014 at 5:49 pm

      TurtleBoySports is always available for donations.

  • Blong
    January 12, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    Loudest you’ve heard in a long time? You just started going to games last year.

    But there was no mention of t-shirts so you get a grade of A for this one.

    • January 12, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      That’a a lie and you know it. I went to games all the time as a student.

      • Blong
        January 12, 2014 at 4:55 pm

        Yes, and you finished school in 2004 and we had awful teams those 4 years. You’ve pretty much never seen the Mullins loud for a basketball game before.

  • umassfan33
    January 12, 2014 at 10:44 am

    I’m a sophomore at UMass right now and the bball team is pretty much all I talk about these days. being there for this’d incredible season is amazing. first hammer of the year (was at 11am) we had to be in line at a to get good seats. there’s a lot of respect and hype in the team and all the students are excited.

  • Go UMass
    January 12, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Monty Mack: unstoppable in NCAA Basketball 99 for Playstation. Unstoppable.

  • Joey G
    January 12, 2014 at 1:08 am

    Turtleboy has outdone himself by subtly mentioning the size of the collective testicles of the UMass Basketball team 173 times in a single blog. Boeheim may recruit guys based on the size of their arms, as he likely goes to recruits with a tailor with a tape measure to check on the arm lengths of John Wallace and other potential zone players. However, Derek Kellogg goes around to recruits with a bowl of water inside of an empty bowl in order to measure the volume and displacement of Trey Davis’ testicles. As that was going on, Monty Mack came along and stole Davis’ basketball shorts and underpants and returned them to K Mart for store credit.

  • January 11, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    1. My freshman year at umass I spent a night in Northampton with friends, while waiting for the bus I hear “so what do you guys think about umass basketball” and continued to hear all about their chances that year. Come to find out it was josh brown, the famous captain America of umass. three years later he is still just as hyped as ever. That’s the number 1 umass fan no doubt, definitely beats out referee jersey kid and annoying kid who always says “my agawam highschool basketball team could beat you”
    2. Sign guy is and always will be my hero.

    3. Go U

    • Joey G
      January 12, 2014 at 11:10 am

      Did you hear about how Sign Guy choked out a guy who was trying to rob an old lady and then went on to have a massive orgy with like 6 UMass cheerleaders? He was also Jenny Dell’s pimp when she was working as a high end callgirl.

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