Social Justice Warriors

UMass Professor Max Page Wants To Get Rid Of Football Because It’s Too Violent, Also He Hates Freedom

Max Page umass football

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Apparently at UMass some slug rake named Max Page is leading the charge to get rid of football at at the University. He’s an architecture professor that serves on the UMass Faculty Senate, and he’s a REAL winner. Here’s what he had to say:

“Frankly, I wish we could discuss some of the issues about concussions and other impacts. We have a narrow charge, which is a charge on the finances. I wish we could focus on the other, bigger issues,” Page said. “I used to be much more ‘I don’t want to spend the money.’ But every day we learn more and more about the effects. You hear about three kids dying in high school football at the beginning of the year, the NFL is obviously spending billions because a number of those guys are ruined (from concussions).

“I think all of us have a growing concern about whether this is where we want to put our energy and money,” Page added. “.. I think I’m more and more feeling like I would rather us have great sports that are not centrally going to have an effect for sure on our students that will injure them.”

Max Page umass football

Look, I don’t care who you are or what your political affiliation is. But if you don’t like football then you’re just not a real American. Period. Do kids get concussions playing football? Yup. Does football cost a lot of money? Sure. Should we get rid of football? Get the hell out of my face commy!!

UMass football is a joke right now. They won three games this year, which incidentally happens to be more than the previous two years combined. But five of their losses this year came in the final quarter and were decided by less than a touchdown though. Baby steps.

Regardless of how shitty the football team is though, the bottom line is if you wanna be considered a real school then you have to have a Division 1 football team. I don’t care if you go 3-8 every year. If you don’t have a Saturday morning tradition of getting way too drunk at a tailgate, coercing girls into making out with each other, and yelling obscenities at the opposing team’s fans, then your school is missing out.

Max Page represents everything that is wrong with America. Hey dillweed, if you want your kid to play squash instead of football I can’t stop you. But don’t you dare take your communist agenda and use it to get rid of the sport that we all love. I don’t care how bad the team is. Watching gigantic men beat the shit out of each other in pads is the greatest form of entertainment that has ever existed.

max page


It’s like the whole debacle in Westminster where they tried getting rid of cigarettes because they’re bad for you. Don’t like cigarettes? Don’t buy em. Don’t like football? Don’t play it. But nope, this is what people do when they think they’re smarter than you. They try to protect you from your own incompetence.

And OF COURSE this guy is a college professor too, because being an a-hole is apparently a requirement for employment in academia. Name a college professor that has made the news for being anything less than an All-Star slug rake. You can’t.

The bottom line is that these people hate football players because they they’ve hated jocks their whole lives and now they’re finally trying to do something about it. Football is all that matters for schools. Without football Forrest Gump never would’ve gotten a chance to graduate from the University of Alabama. Schools like Notre Dame, Auburn, Florida State, and lots of other universities would be broke.

You know why people buy Florida State and Notre Dame clothing? You know why people buy tickets and donate money to the school? It’s not because they have a good architectural program. It’s because of the football teams. Without football, schools don’t get money. And without money hypocrites like Max Page wouldn’t get paid six figure salaries to teach two classes and have their TA’s do all their work for them.

college professor memes

So what do college professors think money SHOULD be spent on instead of football? Here’s what sociology professor Dan Clawson had to say:

“Then the other $4 million per year, we could fund a lottery of the departments, and have four departments each be winners of $1 million unrestricted with which they could do whatever they wanted. They could fund faculty travel, they could bring in outside speakers.

So let me get this straight. Instead of spending money to fund a football team, which is an investment for university, we should spend that money so that dooshnozzle hipster professors can get free trips to Greece or Italy or wherever the hell else they feel like going to on a taxpayer funded vacation. Then with what’s left over we can bring in “outside speakers” who can train impressionable young idiots to protest Ferguson and Occupy Wall Street. Yea, that sounds way better than football.


If money is the concern here then why are they going after football? It’s the only sport that has the ability to make colleges rich. If they really wanna save money at UMass why aren’t they going after the women’s lacrosse team? They had ONE fan, and then they banned him for life. Oh that’s right, because it’s politically incorrect to go after women’s sports. But football? They’re just a bunch of meathead rapists in training. Ban them all.

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9 Comment(s)
  • turtleboyjorts
    December 17, 2014 at 9:21 am

    dumb white people convention

  • lolbigotclosetgase
    December 17, 2014 at 9:19 am

    its really not surprising that someone capable of writing something this fully fucking retarded is from worcester

    • Vanderbooger
      December 17, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      Show us the ways of the world, oh wise one!

  • BillyJean King
    December 15, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    More people have died in building collapse than have died playing football. Perhaps we should stop building things.

  • hola
    December 14, 2014 at 12:26 am

    Hmmm, look up the history of the FDA and then we can debate protecting people from their own incompetence. In other news, while I love football, UMass’ team is pretty bad, and that money could be better spent elsewhere. Very few people go to the games.

    December 13, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    The majority of the schools with the largest endowments have shitty football teams.

    Umass football is a HUGE waste of money. It would be one thing if there was an even playing field and they had a chance to become competitive someday but that isn’t the case.

    • Vanderbooger
      December 15, 2014 at 6:34 pm

      If it comes down to who can be competitive on the national level, then all but about 10 teams should give up football.

  • December 13, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    Max isn’t even an architecture professor, he’s an ARCHITECTURE HISTORY professor. Yes, that’s right, all he does is stare at buildings. He doesn’t even build them!! He’s proudly teaching kids how to stare at buildings. That sounds reaaaaally useful to me, hahahaha. Maybe we should just cut his department? Sounds like a waste of money to me. Give that money to the Isenberg School of Management where it could actually be used to teach our students useful skills that will help their careers.

    Page is a joke.

    If you want to read more information proving that he’s an idiot, check out my website.

  • Vanderbooger
    December 13, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    I don’t know whether I want to hate professors of Sociology, Communications, and other useless majors or if I want to shake their hand. They have cracked the code of how to be completely lazy and make six figures while contributing absolutely nothing to society. They do they exact same thing as the guy with the megaphone at the racism protests, yet they have figured out how to be marketable. Good for Dan Clawson, I guess…. although a fairer way to pick people to do these jobs would be a Hunger Games style battle royale with arrows and poison bees and stuff.

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