Social Justice Warriors

University Of Missouri Loses 1,500 Students, $32 Million To Create A Safe Space

University Of Missouri Students Found Out The Hard Way That It Is Very Expensive To Create A Safe Space

Your attention please – the Turtleboy Sports backup page has also been suspended until March 10. Here is the backup to the back up page. The Turtleboy Safe Space. We will make a million pages of necessary. Like them all.

Turtleboy Sports Facebook page has been suspended until Tuesday, March 22. In order to follow the blogs you MUST  like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page, which we use to post blogs whenever the Turtleboy Sports Facebook account is arbitrarily suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, this will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible: Liberty Tax Preparation, Greenwood StreetMassachusetts Tattoo FestivalWormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing, Bennie’s Cafe, Craftech Restoration, JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban Barbecue, Attorney Michael Erlich, Smitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors,, The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno

Click on the image to view all products in the Turtleboy Store.

Click on the image to view all products in the Turtleboy Store.

Want to have your business advert viewed over 1 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.



A scientific study at the University of Missouri has successfully figured out the exact amount of money it takes to fix imaginary racism – $32 million:

The University of Missouri will use a hiring freeze and a 5 percent cut to all recurring general revenue budgets to close a projected $32 million shortfall for the coming fiscal year, interim MU Chancellor Hank Foley wrote in a memo Wednesday. Foley wrote that the anticipated enrollment decline of 1,500 — equal to nearly 25 percent of the fall 2015 freshman class — will leave the campus short in the year that begins July 1, without accounting for budget cuts being considered by lawmakers.

“I am writing to you today to confirm that we project a very significant budget shortfall due to an unexpected sharp decline in first-year enrollments and student retention this coming fall,” Foley wrote in the memo addressed to “Dear university community.”

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

“Realize most of our expenses are people,” Vice Chancellor for Operations Gary Ward said at the Regional Economic Development Inc. board of directors meeting Wednesday. Take “$32 million, and look at an average salary of $40,000, $50,000, and we’re talking about hundreds and hundreds of positions impacted.”

Further cuts could be coming if lawmakers reduce state support for the fiscal 2016 budget. On Tuesday, the Missouri House cut $1 million from MU’s allocation of state money and $7.6 million from UM System administrative funding. The bill passed the House in a final vote Thursday and will now go to the Senate.


Jonathan Butler, center, addresses a crowd following the announcement that University of Missouri System President Tim Wolfe would resign Monday, Nov. 9, 2015, at the university in Columbia, Mo. Butler has ended his hunger strike as a result of the resignation. (AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)

COLUMBIA, MO - NOVEMBER 9: Jonathan Butler (c), a University of Missouri grad student who did a 7 day hunger strike listens along with founding members of the campus group, Concerned Student 1950, during a forum speaking to students on the campus of University of Missouri - Columbia on November 9, 2015 in Columbia, Missouri. Students celebrate the resignation of University of Missouri System President Tim Wolfe amid allegations of racism. (Photo by Michael B. Thomas/Getty Images)

Screen Shot 2016-03-10 at 2.25.20 PM

Screen Shot 2016-03-10 at 2.28.56 PM

Hey college idiots – welcome to reality. This is what happens when your professors assault students on camera for daring to exercise their right to freedom of the press. This is what happens when the son of a multimillionaire railroad executives fabricates a story about being called a racial slur and starts a hunger strike. This is when your crappy, last place football team threatens not to play that weekend unless the President resigns. This is what happens when any sort of differing opinion is shot down.

Ya see, seniors in high school can apply to any school they want to. But you know all the press you got for Mizzou? Everyone from outside your insulated bubble of academia was laughing at you. You thought you accomplished something, but all we saw were a bunch of overprivileged losers who have never paid taxes whining about microaggressions and safe spaces. Why would any college senior want to spend the next 4 years of their lives being lectured about their white privilege when they could go to a fun school instead? So yea, your whole protest was basically a commercial for schools like Kansas, Iowa, Nebraska, and any other school in Missouri where prospective students know they won’t be assaulted by fascists like Melissa Click.

unnamed (1)

The administration at Mizzou has no one to blame but themselves. They created this monster by not destroying it when it began. Oh you want a safe space? How bout, NO. The football teams is threatening not to play this weekend? We’ll just take away your scholarship and mail your family a bill for your college tuition. Someone did something racist to you? Got any proof? No? OK then shut the fuck up. Instead of doing that they coddled, encouraged, and even joined them in their silly game of social justice outrage.

The bottom line is that none of you idiots understand how college works. Protesting isn’t cool. When Turtleboy was in school there were a few protests now and then, but the only people who participated were losers. The rest of us realized that life is short, and college is shorter. And once we graduated we would have to get real jobs and pay for real families and our lives would basically be over. So college was basically a ticking 4-year clock in which you had to get as drunk as possible and make out with as many people as you could. Because once you actually have REAL problems, instead of imaginary poop swastikas that no one saw, you will regret wasting your 4 year vacation whining and protesting when you could have been partying.

Look on the bright side though. With 1,500 less students, that means more of you get to have your own room. Look like you finally got that safe space you wanted.



We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM



Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Tattoos Massachusetts

Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 4.54.34 PM

unnamed (1)

Want to have your business advert viewed over 1 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.


4 Comment(s)
  • Silas Dogood
    March 11, 2016 at 5:51 am

    Worcester State had better read the tea leaves that this story provides.

  • Reddog
    March 10, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    Welcome to the real world. You got what you deserved missu. I won’t shed a tear for any of you.

  • Del Griffith
    March 10, 2016 at 8:19 pm

    I wouldn’t bang Missy Click
    With a big fat turtle dick

  • Publius
    March 10, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Elections have consequences as we have all sadly found out. So do false charges of racism. Who would seriously send their child to Missouri? Maybe for some mind cleansing and indoctrination but certainly not an education.

Comment on this Post


Angry White Folk Are Calling This UMass Basketball “White Water” Video Reverse Racism
Jesse Jackson: Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Is Worse Than Rosa Parks Bus Driver
Did Minnesota Vikings Fire Chris Kluwe Because He Supported Gay Marriage, or Because He Was a Liquored Up Idiot Punter?