WTF

Vernon Hill Gypsy Cake Shop Starts Facebook War Over Abortion Cake

A good ol’ fashioned Facebook war erupted after a Vernon Hill gypsy cake shop delivered some sort of abortion cake to a customer. 

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Turtleboy Sports is a stickler about customer service. If you’re gonna open up a business, you better be poviding a good service, or else you have no business being in business. For instance, when you order a cake it should at least come close to resembling what it looks like online. This is not a good thing:

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No. Just no.

Those two cakes don’t even remotely resemble one another. Even the blue is a completely different shade of it. And if someone could please explain to me what is going on with those pearls in the cake on the right, that would be great.

The place where they got this from is called Taste Great Cakes, which apparently is some sort of unlicensed gypsy cake service run out of an apartment on Vernon Street. With all due respect to the person who bought this cake, that’s what you get for buying a cake from an unlicensed gypsy baker on Vernon Street.

Anyway, things are really heating up over on the Taste Great Cakes Facebook page:

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So Turtelboy loves buffalo chicken sandwiches and wraps. But it’s gotta have just the right crap on it or I can’t eat it. I only want it with, 1) blue cheese, 2) american cheese, and 3) tomatoes. Because lettuce is the Rick Rushton of the sandwich world – it only serves the purpose of taking up space and it sucks. But at least 55% of the time they will put lettuce on it instead of tomatoes. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve realized this only after getting home with it.

But shit happens sometimes, and I get it. All I ask is that they make it right, and they always do. Every place that has fucked up this order always gives you a free one on the house, and often they give you gift certificates too. Because an angry customer can do a lot of damage to your business, but a new sandwich only costs you pennies on the dollar.

As for the cake gypsy, first of all, don’t blame the customer. Ever. But if you do, then blame them privately, not on your Facebook page. And when you do blame a customer, make sure your cake doesn’t look like smurf roadkill.

But if you do decide to bash a customer via social media, at least make an honest attempt to throw a coherent sentence together. This post looks like something out of Chapter 3 of Flowers for Algernon. And what the hell is defamate? It sounds like a combination of defame and defecate. Two things Turtleboy Sports is accused of doing frequently by Internet lawyers.

What grinds my gears about this one is the fact that she’s putting this whole thing on both of her customers. First she blames the customer who got there too early, which forced her to somehow accidentally give that customer the the wrong cake, which presumably looked like the cake on the left. Newsflash – it’s not the customer’s fault for getting there too early. It’s your fault for running a disorganized Vernon Hill gypsy cake shop. Get your shit together.

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Oh yea, and no one’s buying the “I gave the wrong cake away” excuse either. First of all, there’s no way the same person made both of those cakes. The one on the left was made by a professional baker. The cake on the right was made in a Vernon Hill sweatshop. Secondly, if you gave the first person the wrong cake, then why didn’t they return it? Or why didn’t you call them up afterwards and say, “Yo, lemme get that cake back”?

Most importantly, why would she ever think that 50% off makes this whole thing OK? That cake on the right looks like something Turtleboy Jr. made in art class. It looks like something that something that the protagonist on a 90’s sitcom made Home Ec class, that taught them a valuable life lesson.

And then she tries to blame the customer again for “gladly accepting” it. What the hell was the customer supposed to do? You delivered a cake halfway through a party. People were hungry. I would refuse to leave a party if I hadn’t been served cake yet on principle. OF COURSE she accepted the cake. And she didn’t accept it “gladly.” She just didn’t wanna cause a scene in front of her party guests.

The biggest lie in that whole rambling nonsensical diatribe was the “taste great cakes strive on customer satisfaction” line, because she sent the customer this email afterwards:

“Hi, again i am sorry about the cake, but i cannot give a full refund for the cake unless i have the cake back, it still cost me to make the cake and i also used my gas to deliver it, i have all ready refunded you almost half, if you have the cake and want to return it i will gladly give you a full refund,

Really? You’re bitching about gas money? It’s freaking Worcester, not Anchorage, and gas is cheap again now that the Koch brothers stopped playing with their Middle East machine. The woman paid $85 for this dilapidated abortion cake. There’s no way you spent $85 on gas, flour, and sugar for this endeavor. Take the hit, admit that you fucked up, and maintain your reputation. Or just make it a million times worse by posting on Facebook. Whatever you think is better for your business.

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31 Comment(s)
  • H
    September 16, 2015 at 11:02 am

    Nobody deserves to get screwed but come on who in their right mind would order a cake from a bootleggin place on Vernon St…??? Driving in that area grosses me out never mind spending $85 on a cake from one of those broken down trash houses with derelicts hanging out front NOT Working… Stupid is as stupid does sorry to say.. & to the cake maker shes beyond horrible so hopefully she puts the spatula down & sticks to her crack pipe

  • Frogshit
    September 16, 2015 at 6:24 am

    This shit takes the cake!

  • oneopinion
    Hanginpossum
    September 15, 2015 at 10:06 pm

    Crown Bakery. That’s all you ever need to know particularly with thanksgiving coming up.

  • Stuck Here
    September 15, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    Coffeemate, I think it says “creations by Mary” because it’s just a photo of the cake these people found online and thought Great Cakes could reproduce. They wanted their cake to look like that one… But… Yeah that didn’t happen. Don’t quote me though… I’m just assuming.

  • coffeemate
    September 15, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    How come the picture says “creations by mary”…..

  • GoWPD
    September 15, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    I wish Taste Great Cakes strived to have great grammar. They “defamate” their own character by that rediculous fb response. So now you can get your drugs and tasty cakes in one convenient vernon hill location?! Where do I sign up!

  • Do what?
    September 15, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    I like all the TB scribes but I just couldn’t ignore the irony of this particular writer calling out the cake lady for rambling, incoherent sentences and then placing this gem in the middle of the article…

    “It looks like something that something that the protagonist on a 90’s sitcom made Home Ec class, that taught them a valuable life lesson.”

    Dude, what??

  • Small Town Internet Lawyer
    September 15, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    That cake violates the First Amendment

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    September 15, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    I had bowel movements that looked better than that cake. And the pearls were corn…

  • Clive's not racist, just ask him
    September 15, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    Sick cake, bro

  • BobnMic
    September 15, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    85 bucks for a damn cake? Holy Schnikes if I’m paying that for a fucking cake there better be weed in it. Jeeze…

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      September 15, 2015 at 4:18 pm

      Or a complimentary blow job with it.

  • Tngsucks
    September 15, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    Has the board of health caught wind of this? This should be completely underground or it’s a totally legitimate business.

    • LuluBean
      September 15, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      Yes, they have 🙂

    • Taxpayer
      September 15, 2015 at 7:25 pm

      Omg c’mon lady or guy the board of health? Are you kidding me with all the leeches in the city, the cake is gone let it go.

  • September 15, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Sorry, but I can’t back having the EXPECTATION of a free one on the house. If an establishment wants to go above and beyond and do that, that’s great. The only thing you are owed is what you are ordered. Even contemplating ALSO getting a gift certificate out of it is borderline absurd.

    I don’t debate establishments do that, but having that type of expectation is not remotely reasonable. I feel like it’s exploitation. They made it right, you got a little extra food even if it’s not totally what you ordered. It really shouldn’t be much more than that.

    • Janawo
      September 15, 2015 at 2:00 pm

      The customer didn’t get what they ordered, of course they shouldn’t have to pay for it! If you ordered a Porsche but got a Jalopy instead, would you pay for it still?

      • Taxpayer
        September 15, 2015 at 7:12 pm

        Why would you care? At least she’s trying to do something unlike the rest of the idiots who sit home reproduce and collect all day.

        • LuluBean
          September 15, 2015 at 7:47 pm

          What is she trying to do, screw people out of 85 dollars for a Pinterest fail cake, please. She would be better off going back to school to actually learn how to make these cakes then get serve safe certified in the home that she is actually baking in and set up a real business. She is no better than the ones that you refer to as sitting home reproducing and collecting all day. She’s just stealing it.

          • Taxpayer
            September 16, 2015 at 6:53 am

            Listen Lu,
            Your ordering cake out of someone’s kitchen whom you do not know from Vernon hill who may not be accredited by food and safety? That’s telling about the buyer right there. Its an insult to 111 you’d even make a comparison. I get it the (((appearance))) of the cake didn’t go as planned, human error what are you going to do…she explained that to you ( I’ve read) and you still accepted the cake. As far as I’m concerned she fulfilled her responsibility by sending you a cake after you were aware of the mishap. Knowing there wasn’t much time, I wouldn’t expect a Picasso, I’d be more concerned about taste and cleanliness of the food I was eating as well as the person serving me acknowledging her error. Good enough leave a review on her page or yelp. This was overboard.

    • LuluBean
      September 15, 2015 at 6:53 pm

      Actually, she didn’t get what she ordered, if you look at the cake ordered and the cake received, they are nothing alike. They didn’t make it right at all. She dropped the wrong cake off firstly, then brought it to another person, that’s disgusting. The expectation was to get what was ordered, nothing more and when you don’t get what you ordered, why should you pay for it? If you go to 111 and order a steak but get a piece of fish, will you just eat it, pay for it and tell everyone how good the food was even though it wasn’t what you ordered. You’re not the brightest bulb on the string Jay, get a clue, this woman is working out of her home, probably not paying taxes on this income and I’m going out on a limb guessing she isn’t certified in kitchen or food safety. There is no exploitation, she made it right AFTER the customer blasted her on facebook, is that really what it should take or should the business owner want to make the customer happy?

  • REALLIBERAL
    September 15, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    you have to check out cakewrecks.com. quality entertainment

  • strata
    September 15, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    Is she paying taxes with respect to the money she makes doing this?

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      September 15, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      Come on – we all know the answer to that.

  • Rocks n Salt
    September 15, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    Check out :
    http://www.cakewrecks.com

    Hilarious!

  • Lincoln Street Turtle Rider
    September 15, 2015 at 11:47 am

    she probably bought the cake baking materials with her ebt card.

    • Taxpayer
      September 16, 2015 at 9:14 am

      Funny you say that because after she’s been blasted on the internet providing she wasn’t using the system in that way, she may now need to apply for that EBT. Let’s give her a push in the direction we didn’t want. Call the board of health scare her out of doing “something” with her time instead of nothing. That’s smart.

      • Hoov
        September 17, 2015 at 11:18 am

        Yes. Running illegitimate businesses out of your home, which don’t pay taxes is fantastic for the economy.

        • Ml
          September 17, 2015 at 4:13 pm

          Hov,
          Depends what your comparing too. I don’t think someone’s kitchen in Vernon Hill needs this much attention.

    • Ml
      September 17, 2015 at 10:00 am

      And you probably use yours at Stop and shop on Licoln st.

  • Brendan Rys
    Beej
    September 15, 2015 at 11:37 am

    The Rick Rushton / lettuce analogy is the funniest line I’ve ever read on TBS. Bravo!!

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