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The other day our blog about the shitty coffee we got at Dunkin Donuts set off a firestorm in Dixie. Some chick named Tobie, who we assumed was a dude, didn’t care too much for it, shared it on her wall and wrote a whole rant about it. Obviously we fired back. This has apparently reignited the Civil War because we had no idea we were fucking with Queen Dixie herself. Tobie carries an army of followers that she picked up after becoming, what the kids these days call “Vine famous.” It turns out she’s a 23 year old bartender from Clemson, South Carolina that somehow has nearly a quarter million followers on Vine:
Now my man Bottle Rocket from Fitchburg has nearly half a million, but that’s because he’s hilarious.
Anyway, Tobie Sunshine sent her army after Turtleboy the other day. She calls these hippies with low self esteem her “wildflowers.” And they’re really wild about their girl Tobie:
As you can see, these people have an infinite supply of prozac. But my beef with Tobie is that she’s full of shit. She posted this on her Facebook page yesterday as a clear shot at Turtleboy:
You know how I can tell this girl is an overly pretentious, pass-agressive hipster? Because she calls the guy who works at the coffee shop a a barista. But seriously folks, what a hero this girl is. Think she’s gonna make the barista do their job? Nope. Social justice warriors do your work for you and then brag about it on social media. Just for the record there is a 150% chance she purposely asked for the coffee to come like this just for the picture. Because as you will see, this is how she built her army of wildflowers.
Anyway, my beef with her isn’t that she spreads positivity, it’s that she’s full of shit. She started this war by calling out our blog to her minions, and then when we fire back she plays the victim to her wildflowers. Someone made fun of her hipster hat and here’s what happened:
See what she did there? She made fun of the other person. If she were really this super nice, caring person she would’ve left out the part where she made fun of the other woman. But she tossed it in there, threw in a smiley face, and her army of wildflowers took the bait:
See that? Her followers are no different than turtle riders. This one must be the wildflower version of Bret Killoran:
Well that’s not really fair Carissa. I mean, what guy out there isn’t wishing for a handy?
Then there’s this lie:
No you didn’t. You haven’t gotten a single death threat because we wrote a blog about coffee. Not one. But your fantastic followers eat that shit up because you literally pray on the most gullible people in America. Let’s take a look at her Vines so you can get a view of the type of people that are now coming after Turtleboy:
Oh that Tobie!! What a free spirit!!!
She’s really really deep too:
“Everything you’re working toward is gonna be accomplished. So don’t worry – you got this!!”
Oh snap!! Never thought about it that way. Here I was ready to give up on life, and then I watched this 23 year old hippie from South Carolina tell me I got this. Time to dominate life!!!
Then there’s Tobie waiting for coffee:
Hilarious!!!
And are you a 20 something who doesn’t have life figured out yet? Don’t worry, Tobie has some hot takes for you.
Thank God!! Here I was thinking I was supposed to have it all figured out, but it turns out that’s what our 20’s are for – figuring it out!!
And how should I go about tackling life Tobie?
“Take life everyday one step at a time, but make sure those steps are in the directions of your dreams. You got this.”
Genius!!! I was gonna start taking some steps tomorrow but I was thinking about taking those steps AWAY from my dreams. Boy is my face red now!!! I know which way I’ll be walking tomorrow, thanks to my girl Tobie. I got this!!!
And for you heave hitters out there, take some advice from a skinny girl:
“It doesn’t matter if you’re super skinny or super thick. Your confidence inside is what makes you beautiful!!”
No, this isn’t a bad Disney movie. This is an actual thing that morons watch and get inspired:
This is like a bad episode of Ellen.
Then there’s this gem:
“You can’t depend on other people to make you happy. You have to go out there and create your own happy. Don’t settle. You deserve the best.”
What. The. Fuck? What are these people on? First of all, she’s telling her “wildflowers” not to depend on other people to make them happy. But yet, here they are depending on her to make themselves happy. Seems like a healthy relationship. Secondly, how does she know the person watching this Vine deserves the best? What if they’re a child molester and they create their own happy by diddling kids? Who is dumb enough to fall for these vague, fortune cookie, generalizations? Thirdly, is that Nickelback in the background? If so it answers my second question.
And if you really wanna get inspired, watch this Vine of her and her hippie boyfriend:
It’s like a bad Nicholas Sparks novel. I can’t wait for the break up Vine. I gotta admit, that beard is the most pube-tastic thing I’ve ever seen!!!
Here, just watch all of them. It’s all just the same shit.
Look, our beef with this girl isn’t that she’s spreading a positive message and conning all these people into thinking she’s Dr. Phil. Our beef is with the fact that she fired shots and then played the victim when we fired back. Look on the bright side thought Tobie, you just picked up a new follower:
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98 Comment(s)
I’m trying to figure out why she looks so worn out at 23. Time to put down the coffee, and drink some water girl. Your skin looks like crap
The bigger the gauge, the lower the wage. 110% she will be a 40sumtin barista
Why does every woman with a fucked up nose thinks that putting a ring through it makes it look better ? I am shocked a dog has not tried to chew that pig snout off her face yet
I actually seem to like Toby a little better after having to read Jen Dents drivel
I have to give Turtle credit on this..An entire new group of haters like Spurt will be hitting the pages 20 times a day now adding to those view numbers…Smart smart man
Butt ugly fucking redneck…. Nuff said.
You’re basically just a mean, nasty guy at heart, Doug P. Madaga. Small-dicked biker wanna-bes are the worst sort.
She’s seems like a bit of a sociopath if you ask me… Look at those blank eyes!
I don’t get the vitriol around the original post, or why this has become a flame war. TB complained about crappy coffee slingers at a franchised chain in the Worcester area, and suddenly someone below the Mason Dixon line is posting responses showing a cup that is clearly not even from the same chain.
The original point, if we can ever find our way back to it, is that service at DD in minor metropolitan areas has always been questionable, and is deteriorating at a high rate. One used to be able to expect at least a perfunctory cup shake before the cup hit the customer’s side of the counter. Those days are gone at many DD. People are getting sick of it.
Discuss.
If TB had to drink a coffee from a DD in the southern US, he would REALLY go on a tirade. Pretty much all of the iced coffees look like the one he posted.
So if you ARE traveling to Myrtle Beach and decide to stop at DD on the way…you have been warned.
Leaving aside the totally shitty “coffee” (Tatnuck DD takes the cake for utter shittiest….), and trolling on the southern accent and righteous babe shit……
Yes, yes I would. Come north, dear Tobie, and we, as Shakespeare put it, can “make the beast with two backs”……..
There’s nothing there. “Chicks like that shit vanilla ice cream” said Ralph to Nicky about the rich, vapid blonde Wendy in the movie “Federal Hill.” And the thing about wildflowers is that the damn weeds take over.
I feel bad for her boyfriend.
And this all started from a lousy cup of DD ice coffee?!?! Really??????
Tobie, you go girl! Lots of love for you from many here in Central MA. We’re not all douche bag Turtles up here. BTW, I’d encourage you and your Vine mates to Google “Turtleboy” and “Buffalo” for some real insight into the kind of pikers you’re dealing with here. It’s really sweet justice that a capable young woman is the one kicking everybody’s ass here.
Dear TurtleBoySpurts,
No matter how much you try to white knight, Tobie will not sleep with you.
-Wormtown
Hahaha… Not my angle, I’m happily married. I just thought Tobie might want to know a bit more about the man behind the shell. Maybe she’ll be inspired to do a Vine-yard exposé, of sorts, and unmask our villainous host to the wider world. I mean, “Turtleboy” is just such an impersonal monicker, don’t you agree? Friends should do away with such formalities.
Just keep telling yourself that, and maybe someday it will come true… you got this!
Please, give a detailed explanation with supporting logic showing how in the world you can link TBS’ alleged actions at a football game.
If in fact someone did do those things, but this girl argued the sky is purple while they argued it was blue, are you going to believe her instead simply due to what they did or who they are? Where has objectivity gone with you or anyone in this world?!
Listen, no matter how reprehensible a person’s actions or character are, there exists in every separate point made for any argument on Earth a side that is better supported by logic and/or evidence, and a side that is simply drivel.
You seem to think TBS’ alleged actions preclude him from being right on anything and everything.
For those of you “Spurters” and “Wildflowers” that don’t know, this is an ad hominem fallacy.
Address the *argument* and not the person.
*Please, give a detailed explanation with supporting logic showing how in the world you can link TBS’ alleged actions at a football game to this.*
My apologies for not finishing that sentence.
No worries. I honestly didn’t notice. I just assumed it was as poorly written as the rest of what followed.
Resorting to flaming and refusing to prove anything you say is very revealing. Nice dodge, you’re certainly not as intelligent as I had hoped.
By the way, I’ve been critical of TBS quite a few times before, look around and see.
I just don’t tolerate bias from anyone.
And just for your benefit, you’re not as smart or clever are you believe yourself to be.
As*
Damned my sloppy typing.
Well at least you can criticize me on that, so you have one free valid point to make about me 🙂
Skeppy, Skeppy, Skeppy. It’s a never ending source of amusement when one of you Turtles chastises me for ad hominem attacks, flaming and refusing to “prove” anything when the bread and butter for TBS is rooted in ad hominem attacks, flaming, and accusation unsupported by proof. Really, I couldn’t give a flying fuck. The whole notion that this is a space for “reasoned debate” is ridiculous from the get go. But at least I know I’m under your skin, because you’re running hard with the “intelligence” meme all of a sudden. The only people that play that game are the ones who are insecure about their own. Psych 101. Ah, the benefits of a good college education. Oops, did I take it upon myself to make a second valid point about you? My bad. Guess I owe you one. 😉
So many logical fallacies, everywhere with this girl.
While I couldn’t really care less about having my coffee stirred tbh, you are in fact paying for a service, so yes, if the coffee is more than black, then part of the preparation for said product should be to make sure there is a relatively even mix for the person paying for it.
By the way, just to point out the fallacy commonly used in this issue, especially with Ms Wildflower herself, just because the person is making minimum wage does not mean that he/she should not mix the coffee for the person ordering. It is not the person’s fault, while it may be a way of “getting back” at a company for various reasons, whether valid or not, it is really useless. A more useful way would be to work your ass off, and when you get higher up, then you can lobby to help those under your position.
By the way turtleboy, you’re definitely not the first person I have seen that simply fire back after an uninvited email or message, then have the person be a hypocritical victim and blame you after some self-defense.
This is beginning to remind me of the time Ashley Judd got attacked on Twitter.
I see men can’t engage in a discussion without talking about their cocks – quite inappropriate but then again, how dare a little blonde girl have the audacity to piss them off with her opinion in the first place.
I’m out. When it gets to that point I walk away. We are about two steps shy of the rape comments showing up.
Peace. ✌
Näkemiin!
Can you readily explain how your comment makes sense? Is it too much to ask that people back up their claims with evidence and a sound argument?
These followers of this girl, fallacious arguments all over. Lol.
Another installment of “nobody mentioned dick but me, but I KNOW you’re going to so you’re all misogynists” theatre.
She’s an idiot. That’s why she got attacked on Twitter. Sweetheart.
Nice maybe I will stick around, if that come at TB with full force that’s like 4-5 wildflowers for each TB rider. Better start my cock pushups
This broad doesn’t understand Worcester. Never have, never will. Ride on TB.
She’s just attention whore with a thousand-cock-stare.
I’m stealing that phrase. Credit where its due.
Ok..A few things:
1) If she is 23, I am only 12 (I am actually 33). That is a Worcester 23 right there. Rugged, pore clogged, hot mess. Sure she is not a Tracy Novick panhandler?
2) What the FUCK does a SC girl know about coffee? She lives in the land of Sweet Tea and Confederate battle re-inactments.
3) Beanie? Seriously? My teenage daughter grew out of beanies at the age of 11.
4) If she is so positive and so happy, what does she care what a blogger that is 1,000 miles away has to say? She is in SC… No one goes to SC on purpose. We live in the land of Dunkins, we were given this coffee crack as babies. What does she know about it?
5) If her “wildflowers” are so positive, shouldn’t they be giving us negative northerners positive re-inforcement? How is it positive to bash people back? It is not positive to call someone like Turtleboy and his minions bad people because we want our coffee a certain way because that is what I pay for?
6) She is either from here and ran because she couldn’t hack it, or she has never been here before and has no idea that people from MA are naturally negative. We live in weather that is all four season in one day, it is dark early, there are shitty streets we need to commute to work on, and we want our coffee the right way!
P.S. Do you think she knows Dunkins has established a rule that if one Dunkins screws up, then you can go to ANY other Dunkins and have them fix the fuck up? Why is this? BECAUSE THEY FUCK UP SO MUCH!!!!!! The company established this rule… THE COMPANY!
P.P.S. Fuck her Wildflowers and the bullshit they rode in on! I will take a negative MA Turtle over a fucking fruit from the south who blows smoke and bullshit up someones ass! At least Turtleboy riders aren’t stupid, mindless drones who need to be coddled and told we are important. We know we aren’t. We are just cogs in the wheel of bullshit. We accept it! You should too!
“No one goes to SC on purpose.”
Myrtle Beach?
Exactly.
Exactly nothing. That is a vacation destination. There is SC.. and then there is Mrytle Beach. Just like you have Florida… which is a cess poll and then you have Disney World. It is like MA and the Cape. There is MA, then there is a Cape. They are together, but two seperate entities.
“You going to MA?” “Nope! The Cape!”
“You going to SC?” Nope! Myrtle Beach!”
“I’m going to Disney World!”
See the difference? No one goes to SC because of Myrtle Beach. They go to Myrtle Beach as a seperate entity! It’s not like going to St. Croix or Bermuda.
There are two reason to VISIT (not live) in SC. Charleston and Myrtle Beach. Nothing more.
I’m sorry I have to re-iterate the idea that I meant “No one goes to SC on purpose” as living there. Not visiting.
“You going got get wings on Route 9?” “Nope, I’m going to Hooters!”
Myrtle Beach is literally the worst place I’ve gone on vacation ever. It’s basically Orlando with the ocean next to it. Nothing but tourist traps and pancake houses. Well and stupid people obviously.
“No one goes to SC on purpose. ”
Except all of the northerners who live here.
Maybe focus less on she’s from SC and that fact that she is a fraud.
We really are a defeated people. This much is true.
I wouldn’t say defeated. I would say we are more realists. We are the people who are tired of the people like this SC hippie telling us how we should feel, how we should do things, and how we should act. Do I want my coffee mixed? For $2.87… FUCKING MIX IT OR IT GET’S THROWN AT YOU! Mix it myself? I could, IF I WERE AT HOME! I’m Not! I paid for a service.. NOW SERVE!!
That is how it is. I don’t want to be told “it’s beauty inside” Beauty inside is NOT what gets you promoted, but if people like that kind of smoke blown up their ass go for it. I realize it is about who you blow, NOT who you know to get anywhere now a days (I am in insuating you have to suck a guy off to get promoted, I am just saying that as a metaphor).
I go to work everyday, I go home, I clean the house, I do my own homework (Master Degree from a “top university”), I walk two dogs, take care of my mother, feed my husband and child, and make sure my child is ready for school the next day. I have no time to hand hold people who need to be told how to live and I do not want someone telling me how to live. I have survived fine without people telling me how to do things and how feel.
So fuck off SC hippie bitch with your happy go lucky bullshit! Maybe if you spent more time on bettering yourself (like I did) and less time trying to make people like you… You wouldn’t have time to give a shit about a blogger from 1,000 miles away!!
Great rant. Top notch seriously!
Southern white trash hippie.
Heh.
And I would invite anyone that doubts the earning potential of Vine to do their research. To you, it appears to be a waste of time and stupid. To the ones who use it smartly, well, we cash checks.
I personally prefer using E-trade.
Twitter’s cash flow has been on the up, and EPS estimates are promising, but that industry isn’t my go to because it is fickle by its very nature.
Plus, the vast majority do not make a dime on their pages. People were talking of personal youtube fortunes a couple years ago.
Well it’s a good thing that everyone is free to make their own choices then.
This is indeed a fine land.
When you say “we” I assume your’e using it in the same way that I “we” when I talk about the Pats. For example- We are undefeated. When you said “we” cash checks you must mean people in the Vine community. Sponsors will pay users to promote a product and/or service and the fee is based off of how many followers the individual has. Yes, people like Andrew Bachelor and Brittany Furlan can make tens of thousands of dollars on a single Vine. You do not seem to have any sponsored Vines therefore you do not in fact cash checks.
I may not have sponsored Vines but my content has been on multiple television shows on several major networks which I have been paid for. I’ve also written two books which sold well, I sell paintings and a lot of them because of my presence on social media. Furthermore the app “ANGL” paid me enough to buy my 16-year-old a used car. You know nothing about me. But now you know you don’t have to have a sponsored vine to make money on the app.
Wait, didn’t you say you were finished about three comments ago? . Seriously? Who is this? Is this Jen Roy?
Now that Jen Roy is out of a job, maybe she can hop onto this bandwagon. As for the other Jen, I was speaking about vine specifically, not all social media. You just turned a legitimate point into an opportunity to pontificate about yourself. In all seriousness, I applaud your success but after that boasting you are in absolutely no position to call someone narsacisstic.
Seeking a lot of validation there buddy?
Nobody is as impressed with you as you are.
Appeal to authority fallacy Jen. It doesn’t matter if you were on the cover of TIME magazine or anything else regarding popularity or qualifications for that matter.
The only thing that matters in reality is addressing the speakers *argument* not the speaker. And proving your argument to be correct or superior, and theirs to be false or inferior.
It really shocks me how mind-numbingly ridiculous people are these days in what they base the correctness of an argument on. Nearly anything would pass as “reasonable” to these jokers.
So in other words you’re a deadbeat. Exactly how much government assistance do you get? That afford you to sit around painting and writing shity books all day long?
Y’all gonna donate any of those Vine monies to Texas Jen Dent?
I can assure you I speak my own opinions and could give less than a fuck what any of her “followers” say or do when it comes to this. It’s just beyond ridiculous at this point.
He made a blog and she gave a response.
He didn’t like her response so he is using a platform to mock her. People are criticizing everything about her from her from her style choices to her name to her relationship to her choice to use a VERY POPULAR app in the way that she chooses, which is to be a positive role model in the way SHE chooses.
Something really wrong with this situation. And it ain’t coffee.
She chooses to be a narcissist on an app that appeals to insecure people’s desire to be noticed. She craves validation (as do her “wildflowers”). She expresses her precious opinion, her mob of lemming followers jump in like it’s a gang initiation, and blow back happens. She’s 23 – there are no more trophies for having a pulse. Welcome to the adult world.
Funny. I just posted the same thought about trophies. I agree on that point.
But it’s still ridiculous – the low blows happening here.
Once again, you have to check out the facebook wall.
No one is a saint at this point, and it is good reading.
That’s cool. I’ve made my point and I’m sure some of the people here have valid ones. I’ve spent as much energy here as I’m going to. It will lead nowhere.
She’s been brought up to believe she is a special snowflake and everyone gets a trophy. This is our future! Government imposed neutering, anyone?
She went to a “top university” and is still a waitress/bartender at 23? The tips must be great…or maybe she can’t get a better job.
Yeah, I loved that comment, ” top university” of Phoenix maybe?
What a turd!
Mob mentality is cute in adults.
So that what would you call this page’s Facebook wall the last couple days?
There seem to be a great number of her followers creeping around.
Youngest like the mob mentality displayed by the wildflowers?
You mean*
God damn auto correct…
Oh. She’s a moron for being positive. Got it.
No Shes a moron because she is a moron
A South Carolina liberal with tattoos and wearing a beanie….she’s gonna do great things……NOT…..
She probably gets some type of government handout or still lives with mommy and daddy…..her future is mixing her own coffee, but not someone else’s….that would be asking too much of this snowflake.
She’s a yoga student. So her only marketable skill is giving really flexible blow jobs.
Wow, you’re an angry piece of shit, aren’t you?!
Takes one to know one.
Best. Response. Ever!
Tobie tries to be positive and motivational. Turtleboy writes misogynistic blogs about shitty coffee and how he’s being “bullied” by a blonde 20-something female.
Pretty sure she’s winning.
Making short videos with generic claptrap isn’t really being motivational, unless you’re trying to motivate stupid people. Anyone who hears some moron they’ve never met say “You can do it!” and thinks “You know what? I CAN do it!” probably can’t actually do anything.
Pretty sure disagreeing with a woman is not misogyny.
How’s that third wave feminism working out for you?
The only thing she’s winning at is getting losers like you to follow her online. You get more inspiration from an inspirational calendar. Buy one put it on your desk read the inspiration and rip that s*** off at move to the next day. You’re all a bunch of clowns
As a bartender does she shake or stir a martini upon request or does she have the customer come behind the bar to do it? Oh wait..SC… Does she make them uncap their beer bottle with their teeth?
So, do you yell at your server at the diner when you order a coffee and she just pours it in a cup and makes you put your own fixings in it and *gasp* stir it yourself?
Completely different than getting it through a drive-thru dipshit.
Thx TB now they’ll be protesting “black coffees matter” , isn’t it the workers job to shake,stir this girl acts like they’re working construction and making coffees on the side.
This bitch is the embodiment of everything wrong with today’s youth; Narcissism personified.
Yeaaaaa I’m gonna have to disagree. Pathetic individuals like yourself who anonymously sit behind their keyboards calling women bitches on the Internet is what’s wrong with society today.
As you anonymously post…. Hypocrite
1. She’s 23 about as much as Joe Biden is.
2. Nasty tats, nose piercing, hair rollers stuck in her earlobes…she’s giving southern women a bad name. Actually, she’s giving all women a bad name.
3. It hasn’t been cold enough to wear a knitted hat in SC since last February.
4. Putting on lots of mascara and then trying to keep from blinking – not cute, endearing or southern.
Found this on-line…
“I’m a 23 year old Yoga Student living in Clemson, South Carolina. I currently work as a waitress, work with the youth at my church and do motivational speaking at middle schools and high schools here in the tri-state area.”
(can she add… “when I’m not posting pics of myself in bars and in bed w/my boyfriend.”)
You, sir, are a pretentious troll. It’s sad that the only way you know how to get your jollies off is by bashing on someone who is the embodiment of positivity and a role model. So unless you actually have something worthwhile to share with the world, I kindly suggest you close your trap and bug off.
Is this THE Sam. How has the Central Mass search going?
Hahaha who is THE Sam and why is he or she searching for something in Central Mass?
Sam Dumas, the girl who wrote on a very popular social media outlet, and I quote, “There is no good dick in central massachusetts that’s for fucking sure”. So no Jen Dent, as for your comment a ways below this, it is not men who always bring up cocks in a discussion.
That was not worthwhile. You should not have shared.
He doesn’t actually know how to write a story, so this is all he has. The sad part is people actually like the crap TBS puts out.
Stop relying on this twat for your own self confidence. She preys on losers like you and you fall for it Hook Line & Sinker. You are the punchline to her joke.
You sure she’s not from Fitchburg?
With those trash tats, she looks like an aspiring heroin addict.
Wow…feel better now that you got that off your back, cupcake?!
….and so it begins