Mainstream Media Fails

Wal-Mart’s Fiasco, Over A Back To School Shooting Sign On Gun Case, Is The Most Savage Prank Ever And Only Idiots Were Offended

If you thought the company fucked this up – you’re an idiot. 

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I know that I’m a sick bastard and have a dark sense of humor. You’re all the same as me which is why we are friends. I know this. You all know this. It’s just how we roll here at Turtleboy. 

That’s probably why I burst out in shocked laugher when I saw Wal-Mart’s latest epic accidental PR fail. 

That’s right. People actually believe Wal-Mart had their back to school advertising signs specially made for the gun display. Nothing says back to school, and being the hero your class needs, like a gun in your hand. 

Who needs to be the football Captain when you can be the next Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris? They should have hung a bunch of trenchcoats next to it. Being goth is still kind of in, right? 

No, I’m not laughing at school shootings. There is no way to make those amusing.  I’m laughing that people think Wal-Mart did this on accident. We don’t have these gun cabinets at the Wal-Mart stores in our state so we know it didn’t happen near us. 

It’s the hypothetical scenario of how this happened that gets me giggling. 

It leaves me thinking about some one-toof, backwoods-living, yokle popping this horrible sign up. Some place like Missouri or Alabama. Maybe West Virginia. They are still coming down off the break time meth and picking their teeth with a piece of wheat. They’ve got Wal-Mart approved overalls on. No shirt. 

“Y’all sure this is wars dis goes?”

“Yeah Olly! Dem plans say so!” 

Of course that isn’t what happened. It was some smart ass kid who saw the joke ahead of time and bopped it on there. 

People, of course, are outraged.

I, on the other hand, can’t stop laughing at the delicious anger from people who are so quick to jump at offense without realizing this was a teenage prank.



I hate to mention to those people, who are furious, that this probably was placed there by some asshole looking for their viral moment on Twitter. The gun case behind the one in question (because there are two in this hick town) doesn’t have the sign. The only thing Wal-Mart is at fault for is not seeing it before some bafoon snapped a photo. Well, that and a shit back to school slogan. 

Of course I guess it was possible they had rollbacks on something stupid… It is Wal-Mart after all. 

People have to understand that the folks at the home office in Bentonville don’t actually think about this shit. They get a map of the store and have to check off where the new banners are going. If there is a place, say like a jewelry counter, register, plus size clothing section, they check it off. However there is no place to stick shit on top of the gun case. 

Anyways, the Wal had to issue an apology because someone, with a sick sense of humor, pranked their store. That doesn’t matter because the prankster just made viral news because everyone is offended. 

If you, like me, had to laugh at the whole thing – you can be on my team when the Zombies attack. The rest of you are getting fed to the walkers because you’re fucking stupid. 

16 Comment(s)
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  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    August 12, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Not quite the same, but related – KMart always had a paper sign on their milk cooler advertising the price, and the top said ‘COLD MILK’ in big letters – whenever I walked by, I’d always slide it so the paper covered the ‘C’ – 10 year old me thought it was hilarious.
    For all we know, some wannabe offendatrix put that sign there so they could launch a career crusading for justice, who knows.

  • Steven Stover
    August 11, 2017 at 11:17 pm

    That sign hoax is old. Every year it gets recycled.

  • Stunt Penis
    August 11, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    If the sign was in the Chicago Walmart, it probably wasn’t a joke.

  • John Barker
    August 11, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    IDK, I may have to be a zombie so I can eat people like this…

    • Diane Woods emerson
      August 11, 2017 at 8:25 pm

      Bitchy and ratchet might taste better with some A1

  • Colton
    August 11, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    This is typical racism designed to make children, specifically black children, associate schools with law enforcement. Anything intended to intimidate or strike fear into a child is just wrong. I’m glad Worcester’s most racist blog had a good laugh over it.

    • Drivingdave
      August 12, 2017 at 3:41 pm

      You’re an idiot

  • Sonny's Mom
    August 11, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Social media brings out the troll in a lot of people. Someone reposted the famous Clydesdale photobomb (new to me), and that’s all it took for the SJW Safety Patrol to start lecturing anyone who saw a little humor in… a cute photo. Death of common sense.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    August 11, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    Totally on your team when zombies roll in!! #facks
    Walker stalker con in Boston is a blast every year for my grown ass birthday!!

  • FA
    August 11, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    If I wanted to read reddit articles I’d go to reddit

  • Redz
    August 11, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Reddit was first once again, and more stolen comments. Ffs tb.

  • Savage Squaw Bitch
    August 11, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    Anyone who saw this and immediately thought, “omg, school shooting!” is retarded. Everyone knows wally world puts their mottos on everything, so people need to stop with the sore ass symptoms. Are they encouraging college rape by advertising beer with their back to school signage? Obviously not.

    Btw, that Leaks bitch is a teacher, but obvz failed her grammar lessons.

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