Hoodrat Heroes

Wanda Alvarez Eaton Facialized Turtleboy With Scathing Youtube Video

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So our girl Wanda Alvarez-Eaton is evidently fired up about the fact that we called her out on her shenanigans in a blog last night.

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Seriously, is there anyone out there reading this who was able to get through that whole thing? We’d like to buy you a drink if you were able to, because we couldn’t. I feel like I’m getting yelled at by that 6 year old kid from the Walmart video when I read it. I don’t think it’s possible to finish that in one sitting without getting a popsicle headache. 

She also ripped into a couple turtle riders who she apparently direct messaged on the Facebook machine:

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Sweet baby Jesus.

Anyway, we just wanted to clear the air with our girl Wanda. We didn’t “attack” her, and it wasn’t personal. We defended the honor of the good men and women who are the teachers of the Worcester Public Schools, from Wanda and others. Because make no mistake about it – the DOJ meeting was an orchestrated, vicious attack on teachers by their students. The kids brought in a piece of paper with unsubstantiated, blatant lies about “racist” things their teachers said.

Anyway back to our girl Wanda. Until today we thought that she was just a blowhard commenter on Facebook whose caps lock was broken. Like I said, it was nothing personal against her. But when you say that white teachers are incapable of teaching students of color, you don’t get a free pass on that one. Because it’s racist to say that. And here at Turtleboy Sports we oppose racism. The reason we used her AMAZING pictures of marijuana jam-jams and marijuana hot pants wasn’t because we judge her for smoking weed.

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It was to point out that it’s not fair to blame teachers for the failure of their students when this is the type of example you’re setting at home. We don’t think Wanda is a bad person. She’s a misguided soul with a broken caps lock key.

When we found out she released a scathing rebuttal vlog to our expose on her we obviously had to give it a listen. I was expecting her to yell the whole time, you know, because of all the caps, but she’s actually one of the most Worcester people you’ll ever see. It’s long, so if you’re going to watch ANY part of this, just watch from 17:30-18:00. You’ll thank me later.

Boom. Roasted. Suck on that Turtlefucker. I never want her to stop talking. Ever. I want her to be the official spokesperson of the hippies because it highlights what a joke everything they stand for is. No one else. Just her. Never, ever, ever stop talking girlfriend. Fight the power!!

She quotes teachers who told her grandkids “Aren’t you afraid to live in Great Brook Valley?” Like we said before. Name the teacher. If you can’t do that then it never happened.

But seriously though – how fucking AWESOME was it when she said that she’s had to deal with questions such as “Who are them Asian chicks in your basement. No one needs to ask who them Asian chicks are, you just need to ask who them girls are in the basement.”

Wait……what?? Back it up just a minute. Ummmm, I know you just asked me not to ask WHO them Asian chicks in your basement are, but can I ask WHY you have a bunch of Asian chicks in your basement Wanda? No? Damn. It’s just such a power move you have to respect it. You think you’re gonna walk into her crib and ask, “Who are them Asian chicks in your basement?” Not in Wanda’s house.

I can’t stop watching that Vine. All day tomorrow I’m going to have stuck in my head, “No one needs to ask who are them Asian chicks are in your basement.” All I wanna know is, where can I get my authentic $12 Tom Brady jersey that was “Made in Thailand?”

I loved three other parts. The first one came at 20:30 when she asks the dude next to her about the census bureau:

“You’ve lived in this city for quite a bit. Have you ever filled out a census?”

“Maybe one or two.”

“So how do they know anything about you and your black self?”

“You and your black self.” Never change Wanda. Never change. LOL. Oh yea, and she probably should’ve prepped the poor guy next to her. I think he was counting on being the host for this blog and wasn’t prepared for that intense line of questioning. Really wasn’t fair.

First of all, the census is every ten years, so if this guy has been an adult in Worcester for ten years, he’s only supposed to have filled out the census 1 or 2 times. Don’t tell Wanda or him that though. Secondly, I tried dodging the Census Bureau too, but they just kept on coming. You can’t avoid them. Once they started talking about fines I sucked it up and passed it in. Turns out that was a good idea because federal funding is allocated based on the census. So even if this guy didn’t turn in his census, which is illegal, it would only end up screwing over him and his community. D’OH!!!

Secondly, I loved when she started ranting about Thomas Jefferson owning slaves: “It was never learned in school. I never learned that.” Because I’m sure Wanda remembers every single piece of history that she learned in the WPS 35 years ago. And I’m sure she was the star student of the class as well. She must’ve been absent on the day they learned about lower case letters though.

Lastly, at the 27:00 mark she starts going off about how all her neighbors kids are ratchet. Such a power word. Ratchet. I’m gonna have to start using that one. All you turtle haters are a bunch of ratchet ass hoes. Boom. Roasted.

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7 Comment(s)
  • Turtle Girl
    February 1, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    I thought you were all about ‘facts’? Yet, you can’t even get her name right? Retard.

  • Wabbitt
    June 18, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    So did she ever explain why she has chicks in her basement? I honestly couldn’t sit through that drivel.

  • HeatherLyn
    June 18, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    i skipped the video because after the first :30 i would probably get a headache and have to leave the room.

  • nick
    June 18, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    aha, that explains where the comments went. Worth repeating; This shit talking somewhat white trash. She has milked publich housing for 31 years so it seems. Then she said, “So I am greatfull that Mariano is leaving the WHA. “. Of course she is as she is what is wrong with public assistance. Speaking of which, where does someone get the money for buying weed? I believe if you are on public assistance it is illegal to buy and consume illegal drugs. She wants publicity, well there you go.

  • Stephanie
    June 18, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    They killed off Ratchet in Terminator 4 Age of Extinction so there is no more Ratchet. Sorry Great Brook Valley but you’ll have to find a new word.

  • TurtleBoySpurts
    June 18, 2015 at 12:24 pm

    Little trouble with the site today boys? ROFL

  • WormtownorBust
    June 18, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    She knows Theo Huxtable!?!?

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