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SouthCoast Today: Two men were arrested Wednesday on larceny charges when they were found with a stolen TV, police said. Officer Chris Smith noticed the suspects — Ryan Hanscome, 22, of East Wareham and Xavier Hernandez, 18, of Wareham — carrying a large covered item about 1 p.m. Wednesday in the area of Sandwich Road and Main Street, police said. The suspects saw the officer and went to the back of a building. The officer found the item, which was a TV was covered with a blanket, police said. Officers later learned it was stolen from a nearby residence. Officer George Chandler and Smith found the suspects behind a nearby building, police said. The officers also noticed currency floating in the water near the suspects and recovered the bills, which were 10 counterfeit $100 notes.

Not one, but two voke-stached aspiring rappers walking down the street in broad daylight carrying something covered by a blanket? Be more conspicuous. You can’t.

Xavier Hernandez is only 18, which means all of the likely crimes he’s committed up until this point have been as a juvenile, and thus his Google trophy cabinet is empty. But Ryan Hanscome is 22, and he’s clearly headed to the Wareham slugrake Hall of Fame with his assortment of Google trophies.

And as you can, this:

Is somehow an improvement.

Xavier is clearly on the road to success as well.

He’s headed off to college were he’ll be majoring in bathroom selfies.

And fun time with happy friends!

Don’t get the lack of Google trophies twisted though, he’s already gone through the hoodrat rite of passage:

Yup, he reproduced. Because….of course he did.

Here’s the best part though – they were apparently either stealing that television for Xavier’s mother, Tonianne Patterson, or stealing FROM her:

It’s unclear from her hoodtastic post. Obviously this deep fried dumpster swine raised her child right, he just didn’t listen to her. You’re not supposed to steal TV’s during the day dumbass!! You’re supposed to do it at night. And you should probably have a car too so you don’t have to walk down Main Street looking like the junkalumps that you are.

Keep in mind, this shaft shiner is in her mid 40’s. Nevertheless, she’s still rocking the dog filter like it’s going out of style:

Because she’s not a regular Mom, she’s a ratchet mom.

I’m sorry, but once you reach 40, I don’t care how much of a ghetto poon you are, it’s time to retire the dog filter. You gotta stop using words like “little”

Oh, and just because 40% of your baby daddy’s are men of color, doesn’t give you license to use the n word freely on social media.

Then again when this is your version of the English language:

Nothing is surprising. Frfr!!

At the same time she’s kind of a hypocrite for calling her kid a dumb criminal, considering she’s had her fair share of Google trophies herself:

It’s shocking that her child would grow up to follow in her footsteps.