Podcasts Turtleboy Investigates

We Found The Soldier Who Amber Carmark Is Pretending Is Her Only Persona’s Husband, He Lives In North Carolina, And She Faked Her Own Domestic Violence On The Live Show


Last night on the Live show shit got pretty crazy. Not only did we have the infamous Vaping Vajatraon Amanda Sawyer on, who got into it with Bret and North Shore Turtlebabe, we also were able to call another Amber who’s been on Turtleboy this week – the Weymouth Wenchstain Amber Carmark. The same chick who uses an alias (Kayla Murphy) on Facebook, assumed the identity of a Boston nurse with the same name, and uses the pictures of an unidentified man and his children in order to make the account seem real. We were able to find the real Kayla Murphy and inform her that her identity has been stolen, but until now had no luck finding who these people were:

You’ll notice that the guy has the name Roland on his uniform, and in two of the pictures the image is clearly cut off because someone is to the right of him.


That person would be his wife, Kristianna Roland from North Carolina.

His name is Joseph Roland, and his family lives in Jacksonville, NC.

The child in the images is NOT the same girl who was in all of Amber/Kayla’s other Facebook pictures, which means that she stole one mother’s identity and babies, but another mother’s husband, on top of the Boston nurse’s actual identity. To add another layer of diabolical behavior to this two of the images she used weren’t from Kristianna’s Facebook page, but from this blog she published about her husband’s deployment overseas. She went that one extra step to create this entirely fake person, for the sole purpose of making up lies about Amber having her dead baby’s ashes stolen, so that she could crowdfund designer clothes for Amanda. This is the biggest lunatic we have ever profiled. And yes, we have messaged Kristianna on Facebook but have yet to hear back.

And if you think that’s crazy, we called Amber on the live show last night starting at about the 46 minute mark, and at the 47:45 she begins to pretend that she’s being attacked by her boyfriend (which she blames on us). I’m not even kidding either. She literally starts SCREAMING, claiming that she’s being beaten, and pretends to do the rest of the live show from her car.


Look, this girl is fucked up. Part of me does feel bad for her because she’s obviously got a lot of issues, and she’s the product of parents that gave her no shot in life. But at this point it’s a safety issue. This woman is still nannying and babysitting for other people’s kids, despite a recent criminal history of domestic violence. She said during the interview that the mothers of the crotch fruit that she watches testified on her behalf in court. This woman is CRAZY, she’s got a 50 year old boyfriend, she clearly wants a baby, she’ll lie about anything, and has access to kids. You do the math.


This episode of Uncle Turtleboy’s Light Night Garage Podcast is brought to you by the good folks over at Garage Doors Plus in Quincy. Support the Turtleboy sponsors by giving them a call for all your garage door needs, visit their website gdplus.com, or like them on Facebook to support the turtle.

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7 Comment(s)
  • Stolen valor by proxy
    October 28, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    Pretending to be married to a seviceman is becoming just as common as men pretending to have serve. Silver lining is we’re treating our service people with regard and respect enough now that donkeys are jealous of their status in society. I’m glad about that progress.

  • La La Land
    October 28, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Who is the Amanda she is crowd-funding for? At any rate, she definitely has some mental issues.

  • Arch Stanton
    Uncle Fester
    October 28, 2019 at 11:45 am

    Marine, NOT a soldier. Yes, there is a difference. From the looks of it, a Corporal. The big question is who the fuck are the communist twinkle-toed cocksuckers who down voted?

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    October 28, 2019 at 11:25 am

    How unpopular of an opinion is it to think that listening to Brets voice is the equivalent of cleaning your ears with Josh Abrams Hep-C wiener?

  • Fake Abuse was the best!
    October 28, 2019 at 11:18 am

    The live domestic abuse last night! That woman is crazy!

  • Fupasloth
    October 28, 2019 at 11:16 am

    Just an FYI TB, Marines are not soldiers. Might want to change up the title

  • Thanks Marine
    October 28, 2019 at 10:50 am

    First of thanks to that Marine and his family for all their sacrifices for this country. Second that woman stealing all these identities is batshit crazy. That’s all I have

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