If you’re gonna post a GoFundMe in the Weymouth is Everything Facebook group, you should probably try to avoid using a cover photo of a cartoon ass that says “Please.”

Oh, and you should also avoid pretending that you are raising money for “this family,” because everyone knows it’s really for you. Here’s the stated reason for the GFM:

Hello, i know u see alot of storys every day and i know u must donate to alot but plz if u could find it in ur heart to donate to a very close family of mine in need, they really need help they need to be out of there house by may if they cannot pay the rent the mother is the only one who works at the time and is really struggling, this family is the type of family that would do anything for anyone but right now they need the help so they dont become homeless plz any donating is appreciated plz help or share thank u

While you’re at it, you might want to attempt to use something resembling English, and have some sort of story that is even remotely plausible. If I have this straight, her “very close family friend in need” has to be out of her house by May, which is 7 weeks from now, if they can’t figure out how to pay rent by then. Mom works and there’s no explanation given as to why dad doesn’t. But you should give anyway because this is the kind of family that would “do anything for anyone.”

I love that line. It’s used by every cumquad who has ever had a GFM scam. “I would give the shirt off my back,” “I help others all the time,” blah, blah, blah. No, you wouldn’t do shit for anyone because you have nothing to offer people who are actually in need. Hypothetically you might, but the reality is that being a mooch poon is the only thing you know how to do so you’ll never be in that position.

You know you’re running a GFM scam when you feel the need to say……

“No need for negative comments.”

Translation – This looks really, really bad, and I would prefer if you didn’t call me out on it because it’s gonna hurt my profit margins. Only positive things can be said about my incoherent rambling.

Sadly, this selflie queen swamp grimace has reproduced at least twice.

And from the looks of the squalor she forces these poor crotch fruits to live in, homelessness may be a slight improvement.

It looks like Trigglypuff’s asshole on taco night.

She took the post down at around 12:30 this afternoon, probably right after she was woken up by a hungry crotch fruit asking for government cheese.

In all seriousness, this slopqueef’s kids should be taken away from her. It should be an automatic rule that if you can’t pay your rent because you’re not working, and your plan is to start a GFM and share it on a townie Facebook group, then you’re not fit to parent.

Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: