Hoodrat Heroes

Where Are They Now? Somerset Slambox’s Douche Donkey Threw A Pizza At A Domino’s Delivery Driver, Played Demolition Derby In Grandma’s Driveway, And Is Now In Jail, Leaving Slambox To Neglect Their Unborn Abomination On Her Own

Where Are They Now? Somerset Slambox’s Douche Donkey Threw A Pizza At A Domino’s Delivery Driver, Played Demolition Derby In Grandma’s Driveway, And Is Now In Jail, Leaving Slambox To Neglect Their Unborn Abomination On Her Own

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Remember James Coyle and his meth-mouthed matron, Andrea Dunlea? They were the two swampbuckets South Shore Turtle Girl blogged about in March, for recording themselves fighting the grandparents they were mooching off of, and posting it to Threw Up in Fall River. 


What a lovely couple.


So, if you have been wondering how these two classy lovebirds have been doing since we last encountered them, you’re in for some big news! They are getting married, you guys!


And, despite never getting her original fuck trophies back out of state care, Andrea is already anxious to start on their “next baby” – although she’ll have to wait a few months, because they already have a future weekly DCF supervised visit in the oven! But way to plan ahead, girl! I, too, always like to plan my sloppy rawdog mistakes a couple at a time. That way you get to keep the same DCF social worker through both parental rights terminations!


The dirty mirror and sunken in cheeks really helps to accentuate the maternal glow all over her sallow face. Ever wondered what apprehension and exasperation looks like on a fetus?

Now you know. Don’t you worry, little peanut, you’re going to light up the lives of a couple of foster parents when you inevitably are taken from your gutterslop rent-a-womb at 24 hours old.

Unfortunately for all you true love believers out there, though, the wedding is never going to happen going to have to wait, because James is currently in jail for throwing a pizza box at a Domino’s driver who dared ask for payment and probably refused to accept EBT, freaking out and destroying his grandparent’s vehicles in their own driveway, and running off to Connecticut for a few months.   

Grade A husband and father material right there, ladies and gentleman.

What makes this even better is his entire rampage transpired in the day leading up to and night of SSTG’s blog publishing, so your “dindonuffin” is invalid here, sir. It’s really great news that this douche canoe is off the streets and locked up like the animal he is. It’s just tragic that his love story will never gets it’s magical happy ending at the end of the aisle, and poor Andrea will most likely have to neglect that baby, and her squirrels, all on her own.


They were just so great together, you guys.

13 Comment(s)
  • Crystal Balls
    October 25, 2018 at 4:57 am

    No one will attend this child’s birthday.

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    October 24, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    I guess you are pro abortion then? I mean if you called an innocent baby an abomination?

    Gee I wonder why you cant stay on Facebook?

    • Dr. Coathanger
      October 25, 2018 at 11:07 am

      When we’re talking about you, everyone’s pro abortion. They fucked up yours, and you exist to be a tick on society’s ballsack as punishment for the rest of us.

  • mikevronsky
    October 24, 2018 at 4:32 pm

    Somerset is alot of Fall River spillover trash.

  • Jimmy Hart
    October 24, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    Why doesn’t Turtleboy set up hoodrat steel cage matches? Use a different name and rent out an American Legion or Elks’ hall and offer junkbox prizes like stolen iPhones and EBT.

    “A. Dan Corny presents Junkbox Death Match at the Worcester AmVets… SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!! Stabby McPsychopath vs. Douche Donkey in an all out rachet battle! Tickets $7.00 at the door – proceeds benefit the Terrapin Rescue League (Turtleboy’s webpage)”

    Then let the winners out the back door, and call the police on them for disorderly conduct.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      October 24, 2018 at 3:56 pm

      I’m open for a dozen tickets baby!

  • Cokenail Craig
    October 24, 2018 at 2:47 pm

    The awful hand and forearm tattoos, the over-plucked eyebrows, the “I’m ingesting something illegal” look all over the face, and then the “fiancee” with the backwards hat and circa-1994 goatee that just caps off the entire persona. There’s a book with an ending most people already know before flipping it open.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      October 24, 2018 at 4:04 pm

      And the entire book only reads: “More EBT kiddies mouths for us workers to feed”.

      The End.

  • Captain Trips
    Tyrone D. Longbone
    October 24, 2018 at 2:05 pm

    Yo Jimmy don’t youz be frettin none honky

    I’s take care o dah bitch why you gone wit my 19″ long 4 inch in diameter black snake!

    Mmmmm…..dem brown eyes…….she ain’t nevah comin back ta youz!

  • Quality Control
    October 24, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    “The dirty mirror and sunken in cheeks really help to accentuate the maternal glow all over her sallow face.”

    Outstanding. Bristol should get a Peabody just for that one.

  • Judge dread
    October 24, 2018 at 12:51 pm

    Wtf. When I was a senior in high school I delivered dominos for about 3 months.they had individual banks were we would deposit our cash and pay a bill at the end of our shift. I had literally 20-30 bucks mostly to make change. This was like 20 years ago. Why would you assault a delivery guy? It takes a certain type of scumbag to assault a minimum wage tip dependent person just trying to bring u a fucking pizza.

    • Diego
      October 26, 2018 at 3:13 pm

      Beacause I had the blue magic in sale! 5 for 20 homie! Each bundle guaranteed to have one bag containing fentanyl.

  • Y
    October 24, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    That tattoo looks like someone wet-farted on her arm.

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