Why Hurricane Irma Shows Why The Weather Channel Might Be Colin Kaepernick’s Last Chance

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This might be the first time I’ve made a connection between weather and sports.  Trust me, if you follow along on this, you’ll see it.  After all, that’s what Dubsism is all about; discovery.  You can learn more there by accident than in other places by design.

Today’s bit of enlightenment: It’s become clearer than the sky in the eye of a hurricane the Weather Channel is run by the people even dumber than the  same kind of soft-boiled egg-brained morons who run ESPN.  You don’t even need one of those “hurricane hunter” planes to see it.

I saw it this very morning as I flipped on my TV to check on the situation Hurricane Irma is posing for my Floridian friends such as my blog brother SportsChump.  I hadn’t even “Irished up” my first cup of coffee on the day when I was treated to this vista.

I couldn’t get over the fact this guy is telling me how dangerous storms like this can be.  No shit, Sherlock.  The whole time I’m watching this, I’m waiting for “Captain Windbreaker” to be eviscerated by a wind-driven “Stop” sign.  That’s when it dawned on me.  Getting storm safety advice from a guy minutes away from having a mini-van bounced off his face is exactly like the blow-holes at ESPN telling Colin Kaepernick can’t get a job in the NFL because of his “politics.”

Think about it.  Nobody shilled harder for America’s favorite knee-taking dipshit than the World Wide Bottom Feeder.  They want you to think nobody in the NFL wants to wade into the storm any taking Kaepernick would face in terms of public backlash.  There’s two reasons that is U.S.D.A. 100% Prime, pure uncut horseshit.

The first reason is easy.  The reason why the guy isn’t in the league is because he can’t play.  The proof of that is in the defenses Kaepernick’s proponents offer; they all miss the point.  I’ve ranted about that plenty of times, so there’s no need to do it again here.  Suffice it to say they prove my assertion about  there being only two types of “stat quoters:”

  • A) The kind who don’t watch games
  • B) The kind who don’t know what they are watching

There is no Option C.

You can give me any statistic-based argument you like, but the fact is Kaepernick is likely never getting another job in the NFL because he fucked up his job interview.  Once the 49ers restructured his contract, every general manager in the NFL knew he was going to be available once he opted out of that deal (


: That’s another factor in his joblessness…he


his last job…never forget that.)

When it comes to getting employed, if you’ve ever been on a job interview, you know all it takes to blow it is one mistake. For Kaepernick, that deal-killer came in the form of the game against the Bears. No matter what he did before or after that debacle, the question about his ability to play quarterback in the NFL will always come back to “Yeah, but what about that Bears game?”

That brings us to the second reason. ESPN is continually trying to deny it went decidedly toward the left in terms of its silly need to inject politics into sports, but its blatantly obvious.  The fact they let turd-flumes like Jemele Hill spout their factually-challenged nonsense is really all the proof you need, but it also begs a question I’m not the only one to ask: If it’s such an outrage that Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job, why doesn’t ESPN hire him? They wouldn’t even have to do it as a football analyst.  Throw him on any of the host of unwatchable sludge-pumps that network features now to spout his crap.

The answer is simple.  Because even the World Wide Bottom Feeder isn’t as dumb as the Weather Channel.  ESPN already knows the power of the storm that is a public relations backlash; this is why its ratings are in continual free-fall.  As I’m writing this, you know there are heavy-duty discussion going on somewhere in the parent-child axis of ESPN-Disney about the real bottom line…profit and loss.  Conviction to an ideology is all well and good…until it gets a company sued by it’s stockholders or divested completely by it’s investors.

That’s why the Weather Channel might be Kaepernick’s last chance.  Judging by the picture of that poor bastard getting battering by the storm, the Weather Channel clearly has the mentality to weather any backlash they might face.  That means Colin Kaepernick’s future just might be in dodging flying  “Stop” signs while telling me all about how hurricanes are a direct result of “climate change.”

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8 Comment(s)
  • Devils Mouthpiece
    September 11, 2017 at 11:38 am

    I don’t give a rats ass about that waste of oxygen caperdick. However, this was funny as hell because this guy pretending to be a weather chaser seems like quite the tool, “The whole time I’m watching this, I’m waiting for “Captain Windbreaker” to be eviscerated by a wind-driven “Stop” sign. ” Now that’s funny… I would have paid to see him pinned against a palm tree like a moth in a museum. Really would have bumped their ratings. For that matter, I’m surprised the weather channel isn’t pushing NOAA to name storms after all their sponsors. Next storm up, “Hurricane Kotex” for sopping up the mess after the storm.

  • Noseface
    September 10, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent guy. That being said; I have no idea what I just read.

    • kevi packs a mean 9 iron
      September 16, 2017 at 1:19 pm

      “I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent guy.”

      Inflated sense of you’re own self-worth alert!

  • Sonny's Mom
    September 10, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    Oh well, there’s always the Al Jazeera Wide World of Sports…

  • Bill Realist
    September 10, 2017 at 11:06 am

    When did he officially become black? I,m pretty sure he was a white guy when he first started playing for San Fran. Speaking of that I wonder how many more games they would have won by simply keeping Alex smith?

  • Barack Obama
    September 10, 2017 at 10:26 am

    I agree with everything that fine human Colin Kaepernick stands (well sits or kneels) for. He is black therefore the world owes him everything. He listened to all the things I said while in office. Cops are bad, whites are bad, common sense is bad and Michael Brown is good and black people need to be treated special. I applaud Colin for his work as long he brings attention to the important things and not the little things like black crime rate. We all know that millions of black people can’t even walk down their own street without getting shot but that is Trump’s and Fox News fault.

  • September 10, 2017 at 10:07 am

    This is very well thought out and written. Was thinking same thing when observing the Weather Hype Channel, which is the meteorology arm of the Com-crap owned socialist media properties, which includes MSNBC, NBC, and their Marxist Morons.

    Literacy of the sheep is the theme. The black one named Colin has this severe inability to read defences, which propagated his plight. His downfall is obvious, the desire to blame others for his shortcomings.

    Masked within rhetoric is common trait. The inability to perform is the peeve being masked within, whether it’s a slapnut with his pathetic attempt of dramatic irony on the Weather Channel by looking as if he’s being blown around by mere 36 mph winds (as seen in image above) or a marginally talented afro-turd whom would have spit the bit, once again in his game of life, if he had been delegated to the meteorologically wild sock hop. He’d probably cry racism if his head mop got wet.

  • Maggie the Cat
    September 10, 2017 at 9:15 am

    An excellent observation!

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