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The other day we published this blog about some washed up rapper, who thinks he’s both a blood and some sort of old school Winter Hill Gang relic, has spent a significant amount of time incarcerated, and claims his pit bull was stolen from his house and tossed from a moving truck before being killed.

And because someone posted it on Facebook it simply had to be true…

Since then we’ve been introduced to the entire trashbag family, including his two daughters Sadie Ko, who has already been in touch with her “lawyer and police friends” who told her she has a “solid case”:

Haylie

And Asia, AKA Jewelz….

Who had the misfortune of getting hit on pretty hard by Deskie:

She posted about it and the pussies who run the Turtleboycott Facebook page (DO NOT report them for nudity and hate speech) ran to her defense

Asia also joined us on Turtleboy Live last night and she was pretty legendary, so give her a listen if you get the chance. The story she told was amazing and wildly inconsistent. According to her the thieves showed up on consecutive nights while they were sleeping, pushed in the AC, and then the dog jumped out of the window like a circus act. You won’t regret listening.

Anyway, pretty sure we solved the mystery…..

Oh look, someone saw the poor dog wandering around the area where his body was found several days before he was killed. They made no effort to find him, possibly because he was discarded. Then the dog ended up getting hit by a car and they pretended someone stole him while they were all sleeping.

But wait, I thought he was dognapped!! All these rubes keep telling us that we’re lying….

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The amount of people saying, “But he went to Tufts and the dog died so how could he be lying” was insane. Because we all agree the dog was killed on Route 20. It’s just the fairytale about being thrown from a truck that we objected to, because as it turned out the dog was wandering around by itself for days before he died.

This is what real news outlets do people. They ask questions. This is what fake news outlets do:

They fall for bullshit. George Barnes and Michael Fahey aren’t real reporters. They’re glorified drama queens who see a story like this and assume it’s true. It’s why they work for dying industries, and why we are the fastest growing media outlet that has ever existed.