Social Justice Warriors

Woke Report: Is There Anything Woker Than Asking For Non-White Doll For Your White Crotch Fruit On Somerville Yard Sale Group?


In today’s episode of The Woke Report we bring you the wokest thing posted on social media in the last week….

Virtue signaling on a community giveaway page about your desire for a “non-white” doll. It simply does not get more woke than that folks. Although it only works if the person who posts is white. And our friend has grown up in Somerville and Cambridge…

….you know her ass is white.

Sure, she could just go to any store and BUY a black or brown doll for her child, but then how will a bunch of strangers on Facebook know that she’s dismantling white supremacy one doll at a time? She’s basically a superhero and should be praised for her wokeness.

As if the glasses didn’t tip you off enough….

This is how you establish your street cred in Somerville though folks. The next time she’s shopping at Whole Foods or getting herself an organic social justice flavored latte, she’ll be getting a bunch of high fives for her bravery and courage in the fight against white cishetero patriarchy. We salute you for all that you’ve done to further the cause of the downtrodden good lady.


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51 Comment(s)
  • DJ
    April 5, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    She looks retarded

  • Smaht Ess
    April 5, 2019 at 11:34 am

    Why is she calling a child a little guy? And why is she posting photos of a white, cisgendered Male superhero’s logo?

    Is she trying to promote misogyny, patriarchy and toxic masculinity? Better be more careful before she is cannabilized by her fellow SJW’s!!!


  • Armless, Legless, Black Midget Gay Doll (tm)
    April 5, 2019 at 12:24 am

    A black doll isn’t oppressed enough. Clearly she’s new to the SJW scene. But the look is spot-on though.

  • Tom Blackburn
    April 4, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    I like my dolls like I like my people. Fully racially cleansed and whites only. If my kid wants a black doll I’ll get her Curious George. Preserve a future for the white race and white children.

  • whatevuh
    April 4, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    guaranteed she drives a Prius with COEXIST and Feel The Bern bumper stickers on it

  • Retards Anonymous
    April 4, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    I am utterly dismayed that this person chose to identify their baby with a male pronoun. Who in the flipping fuck does this person think it is? Does she not know that her child may not want to be referred to as a male pronoun? What if the child prefers to be called a female pronoun? What if the child does not want to be referred to any pronoun and simply wants to be a noun, as in “it”? The lack of wokeness being portrayed by a citizen of camberville is shocking to say the least and I personally think she needs to be paying reparations immediately. How dare she choose what skin color of doll she prefers, maybe just maybe the child will only see gray, and not another person or being by a skin color!


    The cambridge/somerville woke patrol alliance in conjunction with Sen. Elizabeth Warren and Mayor Joe Curtatone

  • Wwy
    April 4, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    This is why nobody takes you seriously, you whine about people wanting to buy stuff on Facebook

  • The angry taint
    mel anoma
    April 4, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    gotcha nose!

  • Imetmyhusbandatthebrocktonfair
    April 4, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    Wokeness is lipservice and never helped anyone. I agree under $10 at walmart but she asked for a used doll. That’s 50 cents at salvation army. If you don’t have that your destatute and college was wasted on you. She went to Bard! She doesn’t need to empathize with nonwhites. These kids drive around my street in tiny hummer toy cars and keep the icecream truck stopped for hours buying treats. I bet they are happier and healthier than her kid who i pity. Somerville? And nonwhites are alien to her child? Bullshit. So he’s never been outside of his house? Sjw’s are a clown car of lies. Attention whores who fake being charitable while they take from everyone.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ray Patriarca
    April 4, 2019 at 3:10 pm

    These silly white overeducated liberal twats are all the same.
    Laugh at them.
    Laugh !
    Never take them seriously, for they are mentally illl.
    Liberalism is a mental disorder, to which there is no cure
    So, I laugh at them….as one would laugh at a carnival jester.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    April 4, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    You can tell from looking at her that she’s got 1 tit that is an “A” cup like a gorilla and the other tit is a flapjack with a long nipple that points straight down at her Doc Martens.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Joe Biden
    April 4, 2019 at 1:53 pm

    I wanna smell her hair.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    April 4, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    Only one word on this one – wouldn’t.

  • Stevie Wonder
    April 4, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Even drunk I wouldn’t fuck that.

  • Tits
    April 4, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    Woke Girl wants to buy a person of color!! Das Racist

  • Peter Dautel
    Don Key Punch
    April 4, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    SMH All excellent comments and feedback on this slovenly… OMG, I’m at a loss for words to describe this…. thing?

    Sad part is, SOMEONE fucked… THAT.

    I think that part of story ought to be investigated… Not that I want to know, because they/it are likely suffering a debilitating case of PTSD after inserting the stinkhammer into that gaping maw…

    The horror…..

  • Down Syndrome Girl
    April 4, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    Those bangs scream “special needs.”

    Chris Griffin approved.

  • General Burkhalter
    April 4, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    She should have saved plenty of money from all the haircuts that she gave herself…..yeeesh

  • Austin
    April 4, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    “That’s A Man Baby!!”

  • don
    April 4, 2019 at 11:55 am

    on behalf of all white guys. you black guys can have her. no take-backsies.

  • Well, No Shit
    April 4, 2019 at 11:45 am

    $100 says that her snatch looks like she’s got Chewbacca in a triangle choke.

    $100 more says that is smells like a moldy tuna can.

    • Well, No Shit
      April 4, 2019 at 11:55 am

      *it* smells…

  • The Name Game
    April 4, 2019 at 11:26 am

    So wrong. Juicy Nose Colby Cheese. I thought she had the backpack on backwards, but those pec’s and ab’s are pretty prominent, thus it must be meant to be that way (weird); perhaps she’s jealous. She needs a good dermatologist, I couldn’t look away from the freckle dead-center on her nose. Speaking of WOKE, North, how about she wants the doll for her “little guy?” There’s enough angst around about self-identity gender-wise, than to force ABC-123 on a young kid. Again, SO WRONG!

    April 4, 2019 at 11:24 am

    The picture if shim wearing the superman vest, with it’s hands on it’s hips and pouting makes me violent.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    April 4, 2019 at 11:21 am

    At what age is she getting gender reassignment surgery for her little guy?

  • Julian
    April 4, 2019 at 11:19 am

    Bubbles!!!! What the fuck are you doing?

  • Scissor On Dykes
    April 4, 2019 at 11:18 am

    There is someone on her facebook page that I cannot tell if it as a man or woman. I am guessing it is her girlfriend but that doesn’t explain the kid.

  • Crispy C
    April 4, 2019 at 11:12 am

    Looks like a tranny.

  • Father O’Touchahan
    April 4, 2019 at 11:11 am

    May the Alex reimer be with you. And also with you. Today we read from the hymnal Randall 4:11. Though I walk in the shadow of Randall’s mom. I fear no evil. I am beset on all sides by her humongous girth which envelops me wholly. Lord, Grant me the serenity to donkey punch her and not be horse kicked right in the cock holster. May the reimer be with you. And also with you.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 4, 2019 at 11:07 am

    On the plus side, she’s not like to turn up in England and ruin my day.

    The stupid, “look at how woke I am” cow.

  • Why?????
    April 4, 2019 at 11:05 am

    She looks crazy / mental. I am thinking definitely a Democrat. People, stop putting your dick in Crazy.

  • Not With Your Richard
    April 4, 2019 at 11:00 am

    I would like to see the moron that knocked that thing up.

  • How lifelike?
    April 4, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Will the black doll come with a mini EBT Card, a Gun, Hennessy, Jordans, & Welfare check? If male will it be scrawny or if female fat and ugly as hell?

    • dball31211
      Stiff Pete
      April 4, 2019 at 11:11 am

      How about birth certificate with no listed father.

    • Julie the Jarhead
      April 4, 2019 at 11:14 am

      How about a manufactured birth certificate from Hawai’i?

    • Homie
      April 4, 2019 at 11:20 am

      How about an assortment of drugs.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    April 4, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Why, look down aisle 5! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s SUPER DOUCHE!

  • Gross
    April 4, 2019 at 10:55 am

    I bet her vag smells like sour soy milk and rotten cheese

  • Well, No Shit
    April 4, 2019 at 10:53 am

    This kind of bullshit makes me irrationally angry.

    A) We get it; you’re one of the “good ones.”
    B) Go buy a fucking black doll at Target, Captain VS.
    C) Maybe DON’T buy a baby doll for your SON, you gender-neutral scag.
    D) Immediately fling yourself out of the highest building. Now.

    Fuck me with these people. Seriously.

  • Acknowledge ME !!! ME, ME MEEE !!!
    April 4, 2019 at 10:48 am

    I like how it throws in “my little GUY “ . That’s a double point woke score !! Unless, of course, if it calls it’s rectum “my little guy”,
    PS- this is the face of emptiness. It has NOTHING inside itself to sustain it though it’s hollow, pointless existence. It’s just begging for an identity to cling to.

    • Osiris
      April 4, 2019 at 10:57 am

      Maybe it’s her “little RANDALL GUY”?????
      Dude LOVES playing with dolls.

    April 4, 2019 at 10:43 am

    WHO THE HELL buys dolls for their sons, fkn dooshnoozle

    • Her Fucked Up World
      April 4, 2019 at 10:53 am

      Her sons are gender fluid one day a girl next day a boy and a week later a german sheoard. She prefers to use they and them as her children are offended by ge she his hers etc.also she prefers black dolls that are anatomically correct as she has a jones gor big black cock at the moment but dont count out her muff diving side because next week she wants an AOC doll.

      • William Tell
        April 4, 2019 at 11:36 am

        Oh, gawd, an “AOC doll!” That’s rich! Someone, please bring that to market, quickly! Great for target practice!

        • Joe Biden Action Figure
          April 4, 2019 at 3:06 pm

          They had a Hillary Clinton nut cracker doll out a few years ago and it was hilarious.
          You put the nut between Hillarys legs and squeeze and the doll crushes the nut.
          I gave the doll to a liberal nut job co worker back in Dec. of 2207 for a gag gift and she wasnt pleased

      April 4, 2019 at 6:39 pm

      The son needs the Tombstone ACTION FIGURE out of the GI Joe series… Non-white, and ready with automatic weapons to send terrorists straight to HELL!!!! Good wholesome fun for young boys to engage in.

      There’s nothing like dreams of belted 7.62 NATO for a youngster!

    April 4, 2019 at 10:42 am

    A “baby doll” is also a lingerie item. You must consider all interpretations of the request. No telling what her “little guy” could be.

  • Christopher Lettiere
    April 4, 2019 at 10:42 am

    “There’s nothing more pathetic than an ageing hipster.”
    – Dr. Evil

  • Christopher Lettiere
    April 4, 2019 at 10:38 am

    She’s fucking hideous!

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