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Woman Who Yelled At Screaming Kid To Shut Up At Marcy’s Diner In Portland Has Irresistible Sass

marcy's diner

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We saw on the Facebook machine that a lot of people are buzzing about this diner owner in Portland Maine kept it real by yelling at an out of control two year old in her diner.


First of all, she gave the family a chance by telling them to leave, take her outside, or do SOMETHING about their out of control daughter. They turned her down. They instead decided to be 21st century parents and let their daughter express herself instead of letting her know that she was being a huge embarrassment.

Secondly, this woman’s sass game is out of this world. You think you’re gonna get away with having a tantrum in her restaurant? Think again. And I LOVE her impression of her idiot parents:

Are you screaming at a child?”

Yes I am. And she shutup.”

Boom. Roasted.

You think any kid is gonna fuck with a woman with these type of guns?

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Think again. Take that shit to Denny’s. I heard they’re nicer there.

The best part was the Facebook back and forth.  No one fucks with Marcy’s Diner. Especially some dipshit parent like Tara Carson who can’t come to terms with the fact that she has no idea how to parent. If you go to Tara Carson’s Facebook page you will notice that she dresses her daughter up as a princess. That’s mistake #1 – calling your daughter a princess. Because by definition princesses’ are terrible people who have everything handed to them in life and think the world revolves around them. And by definition, that makes you a Queen, and Queens are just as bad. That explains this Facebook posting:

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Ummmm, will you marry me? You think you’re gonna leave a comment on Marcy’s Diner’s Facebook page and not get challenged to a fist fight? Think again. You think she cares that her business is bein associated with such phrases as “Fuck you” and “she shut the fuck up after I yelled at her.” Think again. If you don’t like a little all-American crass with your meal, then you better find somewhere else to eat, because Marcy’s Diner doesn’t want your whining princess ruining everyone else’s good time.

And this isn’t anything new either. Marcy’s Diner has been posting stuff like this since the Facebook page started:

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This woman calls her shitty customers, “savages” on social media. Uhhhhh, that’s so hot. Her no fucks given outlook on life is simply irresistible.

Look, clearly this business has established what they are all about. When you go to Marcy’s Diner you’re gonna get a side of sass with your meal. It’s no place for the wine and cheese crowd. That’s why anyone complaining about this is a buttnut. It would be like bringing your kid to Hampton Beach and complaining about people wearing “I have the dick so I make the rules” t-shirts. What did you think would happen?

I was under the impression that EVERYONE would agree with this woman. But I forgot how stupid humanity can be. Look at all this butthurt:

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So let me get this straight Deanna. You have a problem with this woman because she was “rude” and “nasty,” and you started off you’re rant by calling her a nasty bitch? Yea, that makes sense. Quite frankly it appears as if you’ve had more than your fair share of Marcy’s pancakes. Good day.

More importantly, the woman who owns the diner is named “Darla” and she is from Maine. How did you think she was gonna respond to this? The whole purpose of living in Maine is to get away from butthurt, uptight doosnozzles in Massachusetts. Because people like this aren’t built to survive in Cambridge.

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And why can’t more businesses and organizations in general, keep it real like this? Ninety-nine times out 100 the owner of the restaurant would kiss this customer’s ass because it’s easier to make everyone happy. Fuck that. Sometimes it feels good to tell people exactly what they are. That’s the Turtleboy way. This woman can ride my turtle any day she wants.

Look, Turtleboy Jr. is a two year old terror like this princess. He’s literally a terrorist. There is no reasoning or negotiating with terrorists. Hopefully a year from now he’ll be a normal human being, but until then we keep him locked up in the house. And why wouldn’t we? It’s bad enough he makes life miserable for us, but why should we subject anyone else to this torture? What right do we have?

We’ve tried to bring this kid out to restaurants before, and it’s an epic fail nine times out of ten. Because by definition, two year olds cannot sit down and eat a meal like a civilized person. It’s not who they are. It’s not in them. They will pick up forks, throw them at old ladies, spill drinks, and cry and scream if you try to make them stay in one place. Anyone who brings a two year old out to a restaurant understands that there’s a really, really good chance the mission will have to be aborted halfway through.

Clearly these idiot parents don’t understand that. More than likely they encourage their terrorist daughter to “express herself” and try to reason with them. Because thanks to Dr. Spock, you can’t keep it real with kids anymore like the Marcy’s Diner does. This is why we have a generation of self-entitled assholes growing up to think the world revolves around them and their tantrums.

When we didn’t give the hippies our attention, they blocked our intersections. What Marcy’s Diner just did is prevent a two year old from growing up to be a hippie. And for that we all owe her a debt of gratitude. You best believe if the Turtleboy family is up in Portland we will be eating there while Turtleboy Jr. is kept in a cage outside.

P.S. We encourage all our sponsors to take this same one the next time a hippie threatens to boycott your business.

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23 Comment(s)
  • August 23, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    Thanks for this wonderful post, I am glad I observed this site on yahoo.

  • Nanny
    July 22, 2015 at 7:06 am

    I take my kids to restaurants and diners. They behave. If they don’t, we leave. Pretty simple equation. If you have kids, why would you wait in line for an hour with them just to eat pancakes? Go somewhere else that can meet their short attention spans.

  • TDulak
    July 21, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Turtleboy…I love you! this article is awesome! I agree with Darla…if I was there I would have yelled at the parents to actually parent their child! I checked out Tara’s facebook…that kid is an only child…lets hope they don’t have more!

  • Fuck Lenny!
    July 21, 2015 at 9:44 am

    I have no problem with what she did, but by the sound of it she should of maybe directed at the useless parents! People like that should be sterilized!

  • >_>
    July 21, 2015 at 5:12 am

    Tara needs to sterilize herself. Preferably with a red-hot iron poker, stat.

  • Wabbitt
    July 20, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    I can’t remember which comedian said it, but the line was that if you bring a crying baby into a movie theatre, than everyone in that theatre gets to slap you. Nothing fancy, just once – hard and fast.

    I think that should go for all public places, including but not limited to restaurants, movie theatres, and malls.

  • Jafreese
    July 20, 2015 at 8:31 pm

    Tying two recent blogs together, this is one reason why Disney is great. If your kid has a melt down they fit right in with the rest of them! But not acceptable at a regular restaurant. When my kids were that age we hardly ever went out to eat. One time we were out doing stuff and got hungry and stopped into a place nearby, big mistake, one kid started freaking out shortly after ordering, so we took them out and asked for the food to go, and left a big tip. Now they’re still kids but old enough to go out, and we make sure they say please and thank you to every waiter or waitress.

  • Just trying to do my job over here...
    July 20, 2015 at 6:22 pm

    I’ve been waiting tables for 25 years, and I LAAHHHVE THIS STORY.
    It only takes one screaming child in my place to make it unbearably miserable: the acoustics are amazing magnification of any noise with our wicked high ceilings.
    About a month ago, I had a class A screamer in my section. Not only a screamer, but the child hit me on the arm repeatedly to get my attention. Kid must have been 3. The mother: who had two other (younger) children in tow; must have thought that shit was adorbs, as she did NOTHING to stop her dirty rotten kid from wacking me.
    Here’s what I do when kids are outta control and their parents are nubs who don’t care: I get right on their level, eye to eye, and SCARE THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. I told this little charmer if he continued to hit me, I wouldn’t feed him. And that I might call the cops. That shut him down with the hitting, but the screaming continued for 45 minutes.
    Kid misbehaves in my section? I scare them (quietly: membah how when your mother went all quiet you knew you were dead meat? Like that.) I take EVERYTHING that might be a toy off the table: ketchup, sugar caddies, salt and pepper: and if they’ve made some nasty concoction in their little kid cup, I’ll take that, too.
    Funny thing is I’ve NEVER gotten in trouble for reigning a shittily behaved child in- I think that a lot of the parents who allow their children to be monsters are MORE than happy to subcontract their parental obligations to whatever nitwit will do it.
    And if I have to be the Eva Braun of the restaurant, so be it

  • Common Sense Isn't So Common
    July 20, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    Best fucking thing I’ve heard if in weeks!!!! Can’t wait to eat there!!! And fuck Mosaic!!!

  • GoneWest
    July 20, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    “20 month old baby” Your fucking kid is 2. Call it almost 3 if you want to, but don’t call it that.

    • Emira
      July 20, 2015 at 9:35 pm

      How is a child almost 3

      • Emira
        July 20, 2015 at 9:36 pm

        When they’re not

        • GoneWest
          July 21, 2015 at 9:14 am

          I meant 2, take it easy

  • Frogshit
    July 20, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    I luv her attitude… It’s my fucking shop… If you don’t like it, get the fuck out! I bet the chow is awesome! On my list of places to hit! Give Darla a big ole’ hug!

    • Crystal
      July 21, 2015 at 2:41 pm

      I agree with you wholeheartedly, but why is your name Frog Shit?!?

  • July 20, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    I’ll eat at her restaurant. (I know it will be quiet.) I yell at my kids once in awhile, too. Too bad that the parents are fuck-ups.

  • Steve
    July 20, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    It high time the public and business owners took back their personal spheres; worried about getting lambasted on media.

    I say fuck you to those ignorant self-centered assholes parents for thinking they have a right to
    fuck up everyone’s else’s day… because of a kid?
    Who the hell do they think they are.

    And a fuck you to the stupid people for criticizing Grady.

    Tara Carson of Portland Maine – fuck you! May karma kick you in the ass.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    July 20, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    Hey Dena Short Wood, the only thing the kid learned is its ok to act like a savage in public. Obviously the parents reinforce that. Some parents are just clueless and more so when it comes to thier spoiled brat kids. Maybe they were from NJ and just plan rude assholes.

  • dkp
    July 20, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    McDonald’s is for children. I am so sick of listening to whiny brats while I am trying to enjoy a meal at a restaurant. I would have taken my child outside to calm him down or left. You may put up with this shit from your kid, but I don’t have to. Eat at home.

  • Caroline
    July 20, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    My husband and I have been there, the place is awesome! One of the best breakfast places in Portland. We waited almost an hour to get a seat in November. Its always packed and very small.Not a lot of room for screaming.

  • the.kurgen
    July 20, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    This woman restores my faith in humanity, if your child is to much to handle then maybe going out to eat should wait until they are a little older. why should the rest of society have to suffer through your child’s tantrum. If I’m paying for my meal I should be able to enjoy it too. I shouldn’t have to listen to a whiny 2 year old.

  • HeatherLyn
    July 20, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    I have ZERO tolerance for children who misbehave in public. Give this woman a high five and some business next time you’re visiting portland maine. i mean, if the parents aren’t going to control their spoiled brats, then someone in that place had to do it.

  • July 20, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    “Look, Turtleboy Jr. is a two year old terror like this princess. He’s literally a terrorist. There is no reasoning or negotiating with terrorists. Hopefully a year from now he’ll be a normal human being, but until then we keep him locked up in the house. And why wouldn’t we? It’s bad enough he makes life miserable for us, but why should we subject anyone else to this torture? What right do we have?”

    hahahaha, i know those feels

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