WTF

Woman Wins Religious Exemption To Wear Pastafarian Strainer For License Picture Because She’s As Legit As Sarai Rivera

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This is the greatest story I’ve ever seenHappy freaking Friday:

A Massachusetts woman has won a legal battle to wear a colander on her head in her state driver’s license photo. Lindsay Miller is a Pastafarian, who are known as members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pastafarians believe the FSM, as it is called, to be a powerful force. The secular religion views the existence of a Flying Spaghetti Monster to be just as probable as the existence of the Christian God, according to an online post by the American Humanist Association, which assisted in Miller’s dispute with the Registry of Motor Vehicles.

The religion denies it is either satirical or intended to be humorous, but rather based in science. It describes heaven as a place with a “beer volcano” and “stripper factory.” It attributes the invention of the lawn sprinkler to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  Anyone may become ordained for a $25 fee.

Pastafarians are encouraged to wear colanders on official identification photos and to assert their constitutional rights if denied. The registry had denied Miller’s request to wear a spaghetti strainer, citing its regulation that “A hat or other head cover is not acceptable, but if worn for medical or religious reasons, it may be allowed if it does not hide any facial features.”

The association helped in filing an administrative appeal with the registry citing Miller’s First Amendment rights. The registry allowed the photo before the appeal was heard. Miller was then allowed to have her license photo taken with the colander on her head.

“The RMV processed the customer’s request consistent with its established facial image policy,” a spokesman said.

“If people are given the right to wear religious garments in government ID photos, then this must extend to people who follow the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” said David Niose, legal director of the Appignani Humanist Legal Center.

“Wearing a colander is a gesture to express their beliefs publicly,” said Niose.

“As a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I feel delighted that my Pastafarianism has been respected by the Massachusetts RMV,” Miller said in a statement.

Lindsay-Miller-Colander-License-jpg Lindsay-Miller-holding-colander-license-photo-jpg

Best. Story. Ever.

Look, everyone knows that they’re just doing this to prove a point, bend the rules, push the envelope as far as it will go, and piss off religious folks. And ya know? I dig it. I can’t help but respect it when people find loopholes like this and exploit it for no reason. Just because they can.

Honestly, what’s the difference between them and Sarai Rivera and her “reverend” husband? Sarai went to an online theology school. She’s about as legit as Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act. She paid on online fee, took a couple online classes, and now she gets to compare herself to Jesus to win every argument she gets in on Facebook:

Screen-Shot-2015-06-29-at-10.08.27-PMScreen-Shot-2015-06-28-at-11.51.25-PM

The only difference between her and the Pastafarians is that Sarai is in it for the money and the tax exemptions. These people just wanna take a funny driver’s license picture so they can piss off self righteous dooshnozzles like Sarai. You can’t help but respect that. Plus they even got one guy elected mayor, so that makes them pretty legit.

sworn-in

I’ve never heard of the Pastafarians before, but I want in. Their website is phenomenal. Reverend Turtleboy Pastafarian needs to start holding some press conferences the next time we see hate speech on the Internet. Because that’s basically all pastors like Sarai and Aaron Payson do anyway – police Facebook to make sure Councilor Michael Gaffney isn’t hitting the like button for “hate speech.”

The best part are the people who haven’t picked up on the fact that this whole thing is satirical:

Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 5.12.48 PM Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 5.12.35 PM Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 5.10.38 PM Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 5.10.13 PM

Satire is such a lost art. Rock on Pastafarians. Rock on.

 

 

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22 Comment(s)
  • Pasta Police
    November 17, 2015 at 9:40 am

    I don’t even have to read this (but I will) to know that this woman is a complete ASSHOLE! Seriously, she’s just trying to gain her 15 SECONDS of fame. Pastafarian? Please! Wait until the true Rastafarians start screaming racism (come on, you know they will) or antisemitism. That colander will be ripped off her head by the PC police. Then we can throw her up against a wall and see if she sticks.

  • Strata
    November 15, 2015 at 7:22 am

    Another meaningless and irrelevant person screaming for attention. Sad really

  • nick
    November 15, 2015 at 4:27 am

    Does this mean that when in the presence of the Great Colander you address as his (or her) “your Great Noodleness”?

  • Ted
    November 14, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    This is a group of freaks who mock others religion. Hey, do your own thing, but don’t tread on my rights. Remember, at some point , they’re gonna be faced with the single most important question ever. And being involved in activities like this is not going to be helpful. Stand by.

  • Chris From Georgia
    November 14, 2015 at 10:57 am

    As usual Massachusetts seems to be competing with California for the title of “Laughing Stock of the Nation”. Glad I left. Thoughts and prayers for all the good people who can’t leAVE.

    • Pasta Police
      November 17, 2015 at 9:43 am

      K…Chris…you’re in GEORGIA. LOL But I liked your comment and agree whole-heartedly.

  • Frogshit
    November 14, 2015 at 9:09 am

    The burning question….. Is it sauce or gravy?

  • Nanny
    November 14, 2015 at 8:31 am

    I have a FSM on the back of my pickup truck. It’s next to the Gary Johnson for President sticker.

  • scrapdogg
    EnragedChihuahua
    November 14, 2015 at 5:49 am

    The US does not recognize Pastafarianism as a legit religion and I am sure more answers could be had from the IRS but this colander clad photoid business could be setting a bad precedent. Whats next? Sharia compliant drivers licenses where the girls faces are obscured by berkas? Sikhism is recognized as a legit religion and we already allow the Sikh to bring their ceremonial daggers to classrooms and workplaces because why? Religion and apparently this knife is a “religious symbol” and we want to accommodate every idolatry so as not to offend anyone. Meanwhile in France…. In short this is bad policy. What happens when a David Koresh type breaks off into a sect of a recognized religion and interprets his religious text in a different way where the ceremonial object is a flintlock or a Hanzo sword? Religious symbols like this are like emotional support pigs… a handful of people “need” them but sooner or later they stink up the place with their shit.

  • Steven Stover
    November 14, 2015 at 1:13 am

    She can strain the lumps out of my pecker sauce.

    • Ally McBeal
      November 17, 2015 at 9:46 am

      Scary that you admit to producing ejaculatory lumps you social moron. I bet you get ALL the ladies. Can’t anyone just post a comment without referring to his cheese factory of a dick? Asshole. Seriously.

  • Wormtown Refugee
    November 13, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    1. Waste of court time and space in an already back logged judiciary. What an asshole.

    2. Further evidence of the cesspool nature of the Commonwealth.

    3. Further evidence of the need for far more widespread use of birth control.

    Get a life, lady. You are a sad POS.

    • hetero white male
      November 14, 2015 at 9:20 am

      1. You are a waste of air and food and water

      2. Your gene-pool is more polluted than Chernobyl

      3. I actually agree, its a shame the morons who conceived you didn’t use a condom

  • hetero white male
    November 13, 2015 at 9:47 pm

    Phew! I saw this article and was worried TBS would be all up in arms about this “crazy” lady. How stupid of me, I should have known TB only loves the truth. This woman is a hero. Fuck anybody who tells her she can’t wear a colander on her head. Almost every comment I saw on facebook pissed me right off. Pastafarians are good people, and its the ones who are so vehemently against it that are ignorant, stupid, and lack any type of humor in their lives.

  • Fillet o fish
    November 13, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Cut the shit.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    November 13, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Pastafarians also believe that pirates are the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s chosen people. For he touched them with His noodly appendage. RAmen.

  • WormtownorBust
    November 13, 2015 at 8:30 pm

    I always thought the spaghetti monster folks were annoying but I just developed this odd New respect for them.

  • Jaime
    November 13, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    Hey, she isn’t hurting anyone wearing the strainer on her head let her be. There are far worse thinks to worry about around here like, Spanky McFarlan calling people slave masters, our homeless vets getting spit on when they need help, Dicky Rushton harassing a hard working mother because he’s on a power trip. Along with the numerous other issues just facing our community, never mind the Country itself. Bitching about this is just as bad as bitching about the cups starbucks opted to use! Get over it

  • FatFingerLou
    November 13, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    There’s some DEVO here. Good stuff.

  • ItsAllABadDream
    November 13, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    Are you sure it’s satire? In this age, I’m not so sure!

    • Ted
      November 14, 2015 at 8:49 am

      My, and she LOOKS completely normal in the photograph…

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