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This is the greatest story I’ve ever seen. Happy freaking Friday:
A Massachusetts woman has won a legal battle to wear a colander on her head in her state driver’s license photo. Lindsay Miller is a Pastafarian, who are known as members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pastafarians believe the FSM, as it is called, to be a powerful force. The secular religion views the existence of a Flying Spaghetti Monster to be just as probable as the existence of the Christian God, according to an online post by the American Humanist Association, which assisted in Miller’s dispute with the Registry of Motor Vehicles.
The religion denies it is either satirical or intended to be humorous, but rather based in science. It describes heaven as a place with a “beer volcano” and “stripper factory.” It attributes the invention of the lawn sprinkler to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Anyone may become ordained for a $25 fee.
Pastafarians are encouraged to wear colanders on official identification photos and to assert their constitutional rights if denied. The registry had denied Miller’s request to wear a spaghetti strainer, citing its regulation that “A hat or other head cover is not acceptable, but if worn for medical or religious reasons, it may be allowed if it does not hide any facial features.”
The association helped in filing an administrative appeal with the registry citing Miller’s First Amendment rights. The registry allowed the photo before the appeal was heard. Miller was then allowed to have her license photo taken with the colander on her head.
“The RMV processed the customer’s request consistent with its established facial image policy,” a spokesman said.
“If people are given the right to wear religious garments in government ID photos, then this must extend to people who follow the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” said David Niose, legal director of the Appignani Humanist Legal Center.
“Wearing a colander is a gesture to express their beliefs publicly,” said Niose.
“As a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I feel delighted that my Pastafarianism has been respected by the Massachusetts RMV,” Miller said in a statement.
Best. Story. Ever.
Look, everyone knows that they’re just doing this to prove a point, bend the rules, push the envelope as far as it will go, and piss off religious folks. And ya know? I dig it. I can’t help but respect it when people find loopholes like this and exploit it for no reason. Just because they can.
Honestly, what’s the difference between them and Sarai Rivera and her “reverend” husband? Sarai went to an online theology school. She’s about as legit as Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act. She paid on online fee, took a couple online classes, and now she gets to compare herself to Jesus to win every argument she gets in on Facebook:
The only difference between her and the Pastafarians is that Sarai is in it for the money and the tax exemptions. These people just wanna take a funny driver’s license picture so they can piss off self righteous dooshnozzles like Sarai. You can’t help but respect that. Plus they even got one guy elected mayor, so that makes them pretty legit.
I’ve never heard of the Pastafarians before, but I want in. Their website is phenomenal. Reverend Turtleboy Pastafarian needs to start holding some press conferences the next time we see hate speech on the Internet. Because that’s basically all pastors like Sarai and Aaron Payson do anyway – police Facebook to make sure Councilor Michael Gaffney isn’t hitting the like button for “hate speech.”
The best part are the people who haven’t picked up on the fact that this whole thing is satirical:
Satire is such a lost art. Rock on Pastafarians. Rock on.
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