Current events

Worcester Is The New Baghdad

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Did you know that you’re living in Goddamn Baghdad? That’s right. Forget Orange is the New Black. Worcester is the New Baghdad. Something on Grafton Hill was the bomb today, but it wasn’t Get Down Productions. It was actually a real bomb. A pressure cooker bomb nonetheless, because Worcester is the New Baghdad.

I’m just kidding, it turns out it wasn’t really a bomb that was left at a gas station on Grafton Street. It was just an asshole who didn’t feel like throwing his rice cooker in the dumpster like a normal human being.

Nevertheless, when GoLocalWorcester reported this story it was believable at first, because Worcester has apparently turned into the wild, wild west. From the Telegram(excerpts in italics, our rational thoughts in bold)

Three teenagers were arrested after five or six gunshots were fired near Paine and Perkins streets on Sunday night. And police are continuing to investigate two other shootings, one of which occurred about 30 minutes later on Illinois Street.

No serious injuries were reported in the two Sunday cases. And police were unable to find a victim in a shooting that was reported on Crown Street on Saturday. 

So let me get this straight. Not only is Worcester being taken over by armed adolescents, they’re also terrible shots!! That’s always comforting to hear. 

About 8:30 p.m. Sunday, an officer near Paine Street ran toward Lincoln Street when he heard five or six gunshots. The officer said he found a young man, later determined to be 15, coming out of the woods near 16 Perkins St. The officer told the teenager to stop to talk to him, but the boy ran.

Police said officers stopped the boy near a fence and the boy entered a “fighting stance” before he was handcuffed. He was charged with discharging a firearm near a dwelling, receiving stolen property worth more than $250, possessing a firearm without a license and possessing a loaded firearm, as well as disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace. 

Oh good, a 15 year old!! I’m sure his parents did a tremendous job raising him. After all, this is a normal thing for teenage boys to do – shooting a loaded firearm indiscriminately on a Sunday and then attempting to wrestle with a police officer. What are you gonna do? Boys will be boys!!

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A short time later, another 15-year-old who knew the suspect told police he was walking on Lincoln Street when a dark-colored SUV drove by and someone inside started to fire at him, according to police. Police said that while they were questioning the boy and his 17-year-old acquaintance, a crowd of about 20 people gathered and yelled profanities at the officers. One teenager they questioned reportedly attempted to incite the crowd.

Ya see this right there? This one’s on the hippies. This is 150% their fault. They’ve created this idiotic atmosphere in the hood where the cops are the bad guys. Here they are trying to take a gun away from a 15 year old junior dooshnozzle, and one of his fantastic friends is leading the Robert Blackwell-Gibbs “fuck the police” chants. Ya see the damage adults can do to children now? These idiots want to come into OUR schools and “mentor” kids. And by mentor they mean that they would like to raise a new army of assholes to brainwash and get arrested for them during the next protest while Kevin Ksen hides in the background. After all, Clark is out of school right now. The hippies need foot soldiers. 

Worcester police called for a state police dog to help search the area. After a brief search, police said, they found a .40-caliber semi-automatic handgun wrapped in a shirt, as well as several shell casings, on Lincoln Street. Police noted that one of the youths they were speaking with was not wearing a shirt at the time. The gun was later found to have been stolen from Warren County in Mississippi.

So now we have stolen guns from Mississippi just being passed around like hot potatoes on Lincoln Street? How the fuck did any of these geniuses ever figure out how to get here from Mississippi? Because there’s only one person I know of who does the Worcester Sutton to Mississippi shuffle. The same man who famously said that Worcester is more racist than Mississippi:

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The 15-year-old who said he’d been shot at, and his 17-year-old acquaintance, each were charged with discharging a firearm near a dwelling, receiving stolen property worth more than $250, interfering with a police investigation, possession of a firearm without a license and possessing a loaded firearm.

Police did not release the boys’ names because of their ages.

Then about 9 p.m. Sunday, a shooting occurred on Illinois Street near Gates Street. Police said a Shotspotter activation tipped them off. The rear window was shot out of a vehicle parked nearby. At the time of the shooting, there were four people inside the vehicle, police said. No one was injured, officials said.

Shotspotter might be the greatest investment this city has ever made. At police headquarters there is actually a room that links cameras from all over the city to one giant command center clusterfuck. Spotshotter picks up gunfire from anywhere in the city and allows police to respond immediately, instead of waiting for someone to die. Naturally the hippies oppose these type of common sense safety practices like Shotspotter and plate readers, because they’ll primarily be focused in high crime areas. You know, because that’s where all the crime takes place. But naturally hippies like Kevin Ksen exist solely to make sure the police aren’t trying to prevent crime in high crime areas. 

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Witnesses near 37 Illinois St. told police they saw a white vehicle going west on Gates Street soon after the shots were heard. The vehicle picked up two men at Gates and Hollis streets.

Officers later tracked the white vehicle to a local emergency room, where a passenger was being treated for a bullet that had grazed his head. Police said the injured person is a known gang member and said the vehicle was registered to a known gang member. It had several bullet holes in the side door, police said.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Worcester needs a Hamsterdam. We need an area where these geniuses can all keep it real and compete for the crown of biggest badass on the block. If you die in Hamsterdam, then you die. Police won’t bother wasting their time trying to stop you from killing each other. That way the rest of us can walk the streets in peace knowing that the animals have been caged. Let my man Bunny Colvin show you EXACTLY how this should work:


People will say, “Calm down turtle fucker – Providence and Springfield and Lawrence are worse Turtleboy. Worcester’s not so bad.” Newsflash for you lowered expectation mother fuckers – your city isn’t POSE-a-BE like Springfield. Worcester is supposed to be a normal place where you can raise a family. If we’re not vigilant against nonsense like this, then that’s how Worcester becomes Lawrence.

Once again, the blame for this lies directly on our elected leaders. They’ve given the hippies too much lee-way, and this is what happens. All of the money we’ve thrown into useless organizations like Mosaic Cultural Complex have gone to waste. They could’ve focused their efforts on helping at-risk kids by giving them sports to play, or something else to do besides kill each other. Instead it all went to Brenda Jenkins bloated salary so that they can block our streets and call our police racist.

There’s never been a time in which Worcester needs drastic change in our elected officials more than it does now. Vote the Turtleboy Ticket in November. Mike Gaffney for Mayor. Donna Colorio for School Committee. Konnie Lukes for City Council. Jackie Kostas for District 4 City Council. More nominations to come soon.

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13 Comment(s)
  • redwolf
    July 8, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    people need to Really get informed.. and stop this ASAP. Why is Lawerence so deadly? Approx 2 months ago the state powers that be held a private meeting addressing this. There were High Ranking Govt officials present asking invited participants – local organizations, nonprofits, dept of health, WPD (some examples) to cooperate together to find an answer while keeping the actual cause a “secret”.. which was Published in Providence Journal & WPRI – folks, the war on Drugs is here, heroin & synthetics… And its Very Ugly… the real scenario & statistics are being hushed to Protect Local Innocents, & to prevent all out Cartel style warfare.. Get Info… we Are witnessing the beginning of Bagdad Evil.. & they will hide it, cover it up, give it another name.. Anything but take steps to Stop it.

  • strata
    July 8, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    Good article TB …… the contributing members of society agree with you …

  • Wabbitt
    July 7, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    While the title is blatant click-bait, I can’t say I totally disagree with the content.

    And of course, naturally, it was racism that caused the cops to arrest a bunch of armed teenagers who were firing off guns. Not, you know, the fact that THEY WERE ARMED TEENAGERS FIRING OFF GUNS. Jesus Christ, these fucking morons won’t be happy until Worcester become Mogadishu.

  • Overreactions
    July 7, 2015 at 9:23 am

    So some teenagers shot a gun in the woods, and there was a false report of a bomb. Call me when something actually happens, are you sure you’re not part of the liberal media? Because you sure love to flip out about nothing.

    • Finnish Goalie
      July 7, 2015 at 9:25 am

      Even more evidence of multiple bloggers. Someone likes to be kneejerk.

      All the better, diversity of content and views.

  • Finnish Goalie
    July 7, 2015 at 8:32 am

    It’s Worcester, gentlemen. The gods will not save you.

  • TurtleBoySpurts
    July 7, 2015 at 7:32 am

    Has anybody accounted for TB’s presence during the time they believe this rice cooker was put there? He’s already admitted, proudly, that he’s exactly the kind of asshole who disposes of old appliances improperly.

    • Black
      July 7, 2015 at 9:18 am

      Defamation of character. Slander.

      • StickinToMyOpinion
        July 7, 2015 at 9:35 am

        LOL Bill Cosby cried the same thing, but his own words have now proven that it wasn’t defamation of character, but rather, accurate depiction of character. Turtleboy’s admission to dumping hazardous waste in the woods of Leicester can be found right here on the pages of the TBS blog, but I suspect you’ll continue to choose willful ignorance of the truth.

        • Black
          July 7, 2015 at 12:39 pm

          ZERO proof (re: rice cooker)
          That’s willful ignorance at it’s finest.

    • Wabbitt
      July 7, 2015 at 12:31 pm

      Done laying low, Jeff?

    • jeffs irish curse
      July 7, 2015 at 11:47 pm

      he disposed of you properly I would say

    • jeffs irish curse
      July 7, 2015 at 11:49 pm

      why do you hang out with all those un attractive, overweight yella teeth hippies anyways?

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