Could the Baltimore riots ever happen in Worcester? That was the topic radio Turtleboy talked about with Cruisin Bruce Palmer the other day on 100.1 FM The Pike. I think after watching yesterday’s protesters march from Worcester State University to Elm Park, that question is now officially laughable.
The Worcester protesters don’t have it in them. After all, this is what we’re dealing with
That is the saddest group of protesters I have ever seen. Does Gordon have any other outfits, or is the pink winter hat and yellow fisherman jacket the official protest uniform? Does anyone honestly think stores are going to be looted under the command of this kid with the megaphone?
Don’t they have any new signs? That kid brings the same sign to every single protest.
And where was professor Sonya Conner? I would’ve bet my Nantucket horse ranch that she’d be out there leading the charge. But she did have a class scheduled at 2:00 that we found out about from the Bursar’s office, so I guess she actually does worry about losing her job. Especially since she’s clinging to the “it wasn’t me” defense in regards to the Kelley Square blockade.
It doesn’t mean they’re not a bunch of criminals though. Particularly this guy:
You’ll notice that he is here protesting with the crew on May Street. But once they get to Elm Park
he is nowhere to be found. That’s because we received word from a witness, that while the rest of them took a left onto Park Ave, he broke into a car parked on Winfield Street, ransacked the vehicle, and stole the car’s registration for some reason. The victim’s crime? Taking pictures of the protesters. Apparently he parked his car on Winfield in order to walk over to Park Ave for some glamour shots.
When the witness came back to the vehicle he saw the hippie rifling through it but did not want to approach because he was worried the man could be armed. Just more “peaceful,” “non-violent” protesters doing their thing in the big city. I’m sure breaking into a vehicle will somehow fix racism though. If you recognize this scumbag or have a tip feel free to send us a private message.
The bottom line is, these people are petty criminals at best. They block streets for five minutes, break into cars, and carry their hilarious makeshift signs. But at the end of the day they’re just bandwagon hippies. They’re doing it because it’s the cool thing to do right now, just like it was cool to pitch a tent down on Wall Street in 2011.
By definition, anything that happens in Worcester is bootleg. Worcester is a whole lot of what it is, but it’s not a real city. It’s an overgrown town. These aren’t leaders, they’re followers, and they’re all afraid of being arrested. We saw that when they all started freaking out because four of them got a simple summons to court. They just see a hashtag, make a sign, yell through a bullhorn, and then go back and eat an organic veggie bagel.
Rest assured though, you should not for one second be worried about our city being set ablaze by an elderly man in a pink hat.