Check out more hot takes from Dubsism
So one of our readers came across a Facebook page today entitled, “Worcester Stands With Ferguson Benefit.” Apparently on January 3 there’s gonna be an actual fundraiser whose purpose is to “raise money to support those arrested down in Ferguson!”
Ya got that? They’re raising money for looters and rioters. This is actually something people are rallying about. No, they’re not raising money for the families of the police officers in New York who have lost their fathers in the line of duty. They’re raising money for criminals who destroyed property because a grand jury decision didn’t go the way they wanted it to. So if you have a bunch of extra money that you don’t know what to do with then head on down to their rally and piss it away on bail for criminals.
If you do head down to this revolutionary event I have some bad news for you. According to the Facebook page, “This is a sober event please don’t bring any drugs or alcohol into the space!”
LOL. The fact that you have to tell your supporters not to bring their heroine down to this fundraiser basically tells you everything you need to know about this hilarious movement.
So what exactly are all these hippies doing at this fundraiser besides literally burning their money? Well, according to the Facebook page: “Gwen Davis a local organizer will be speaking on the fight against white supremacy in Worcester and how people can link into that struggle.”
Oh yea, Worcester is white supremacist central. You can’t go a week without hearing about a local cross burning. All those a-hole white people who think they’re hot shit because they go to work every day and pay their fancy property taxes need to be taken down a notch. This is a CAN’T MISS event if you wanna find out how to stick it to whitey.
And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – there is nothing worse than a carpetbagger who talks shit about Worcester. When my turtle hears people saying hurtful things like that it makes him take me on magical rides and I always fall off. So I’d appreciate if you carpetbaggers would stay in your own towns and try to fix imaginary racism there instead. Of course I had to go through the 193 people who have committed in blood to attending this event by clicking the “like” button. I’m not gonna humiliate these poor idiots by putting their names on here, since statistics show that in ten years they’ll be firmly part of the establishment and won’t want their names associated with the dumb things they did when they were 19. But here’s a run down of the origins of the people attending this event:
Thank God white people from places like Clark, Assumption College, Acton, Middleton, Princeton, Charlton, Milford, Oxford, Leicester, Tewksbury, Paxton, Salem, Concord, Townsend, Minneapolis, Hudson, Northampton, Boulder, and the people’s Republic of Cambridge are going to come to Worcester to lecture the good citizens here about our white supremacy. Our white privilege is clearly out of control and the only thing that can fix it are 20 year old white kids who have never paid taxes or had any real responsibilities.
And obviously you can’t have a “Worcester is racist” rally without everyone’s favorite carpetbagger professor from Oklahoma:
LOL. Like she’d miss this this opportunity. What I love about these rallies is how bootleg they are. At least the rallies in New York and Boston are really big and the leaders seem to be anonymous. Worcester always has the same 15 rag tags and a bunch of white college kids. Luckily Professor Conner has decided to desecrate the American flag for the occasion:
Because if there’s one thing a white college professor in her early 30’s is familiar with, it’s lynching in America. She even saw it once on Mississippi Burning.
Oh yea, and the protesters are teaming up with some group called Communities United Collective, which had this to say after the two NYPD officers were assassinated last week:
Yea, the protesters shouldn’t have to sympathize with these police officers who lost their lives while protecting and serving the people of Brooklyn. They used a bunch of big words so obviously they have a relevant point.
I’d love to come down and piss away some of my hard earned money but unfortunately I’m made of stone and I don’t have pockets. But if any of you are interested in bailing out a bunch of criminals from jail in Missouri and listening to people lecture you about how racist your city is, then head on down to this can’t miss festival on January 3rd.
Check out more hot takes from Dubsism