A few people sent us this video of two local geniuses allegedly finding and assaulting a clown in Worcester:
Except just like with all this other clown shit going on around the state, it’s just kids being stupid. The clown was in on it and these two are claiming that it’s all just a promotion for their rap concert:
Their goal was to get a million people to share it by capitalizing off the clown craze (which is actually pretty smart), and by following them they’d watch this follow up of their rap video:
I can’t unhear that. No wonder they had to come up with a clown hoax video. I just can’t imagine ever voluntarily listening to that on my own. Mission accomplished for them.
So these kid’s name are Tyrae Sims and Ralph Weah, and if Ralph and Tyrae are reading this we just wanna give them a piece of advice – use your talents for something that isn’t being the next wannabe Worcester rap legend. We already have Joyner Lucas signing big contracts. That’s all the rap game will allow from Worcester. There’s just not enough room in the world for more than one Worcesterite making a living off of a rap career.
Because make no doubt about it – based on this “marketing” scheme both of these kids are talented and smart. Get a job in sales somewhere and you guys could both probably make a killing. Your skills are transferable to the real world and you can actually make real money instead of begging people to come to your concert at the Elks Club.
Ya know what the most brilliant part about their marketing scheme was? The fact that they mentioned Turtleboy. If you didn’t watch that whole second video, here’s the part:
Sorry guys, we’re not stupid. We didn’t fall for your video. Obviously you didn’t find some random clown in the middle of nowhere and kick the shit out of him on video. But thanks for thinking of us anyway. Notice they didn’t say, “wait until the Telegram and Gazette finds out about this.” Because kids these days know that Turtleboy is the only place where people go for their news. But here’s the problem fellas – your Mom can’t be interrupting promotional videos:
Anyway, Ralph Weah has evidently started his own company called “Steady Wave Productions.” He makes rap videos like this one:
Alright, I guess he’s really not that bad at rapping. He kind of sounds like Big L. Turtleboy was always a Big L fan. But once again, the rap game is a saturated market. If you put all your eggs in that basket you’re not gonna come out on top. But the videography talent is obviously there and so is the creativity. It’s hard to make a Worcester triple decker apartment look glamorous, but these guys almost pulled it off. Most importantly you got us to blog about you. I’m trying to think in my head right now of a way I could hire these two to bring Turtleboy to the next level. If they come up with something we are all ears.
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