Hoodrat Heroes

Worcester Renaissance Continues: Ratchet Rugby Scrum For The Last Crack Rock Blocks Traffic At Worst Red Light In Worcester As Phillip Seymour Slothman Crawls To Junkie Freedom

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There’s been a lot of talk about a “renaissance” in downtown Worcester because they put up a bunch of overpriced condos and a Jimmy John’s. Let’s check out what’s going on in the Woo at the intersection of Foster and Front Street right by Union Station.

Don’t worry though, the Woo Sox will fix all of this.

That intersection might be the worst light in Worcester. You could see at least 4-5 bum fights between green lights, and maybe if you’re lucky an episode of Junky Jams Remix. I’m pretty sure one of the chicks who was rolling around on the ground actually got into the black SUV and drove away. That’s how long the red light is. You have time to fight knobjob express and a bunch of her friends while waiting for the light to turn green.

The worst part about that video was the music. What the hell is wrong with music these days? Drake went and ruined hip-hop. I used to like hip-hop, but now it just sounds like some autotuned crackhead singing nursery rhymes.

I’ve watched that video 8-9 times and I still have no idea who’s on who’s team. All I know is the dude in the red jacket don’t play.

And I’m pretty sure he knocked out the flannel junkie lying in the left hand turn lane.

After that he kicks another guy in the face and tries to break up the inked up incubator ho’s pulling what’s left of the other one’s hair out of her roots.

Then the pumpkin spice chick comes over and tries to drag one guy out of there, while Phillip Seymour Slothman rises from the dead and starts doing the junkie crawl over to the center of the storm.

Then it turns into what appears to be a rugby scrum.

Except instead of fighting over a ball they’re all finna get that last crack rock.

At the end Slopqueef Sally notices something on the ground. What could it be? Her wallet? Phone? Library Card?

Turns out to be a hypodermic needle.

Score!!!

If this doesn’t scream “cultural renaissance” I don’t know what does. Obviously the city’s plan is going exactly how they hoped it would, as some of New England’s finest young professionals are rushing to downtown Worcester to take part in our vibrant nightlife scene.

16 Comment(s)
  • What Tha
    November 8, 2018 at 9:53 pm

    The craziest thing was when they all just….walked off.

  • Jack
    November 7, 2018 at 8:45 pm

    They still try to make it a mini-San Francisco, with no ocean. Tourist magnet for sure!

  • Harry Orifice
    November 7, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    They’ve been trying to revitalize that city since Truman was in office. Unless someone can come up with a plan to pick it up and drop it down 40 miles closer to Boston don’t expect much to change in yours or your kid’s lifetime. Yes, East Boston and South Boston once upon a time were equally worthless piles of rabbit feces, too, but they’re both a 4 minute subway ride to the Financial District….

  • Trashneedstobetossout
    November 7, 2018 at 11:47 am

    I rather illegals than junkies . They sucking up all the government money more than the illegals . Least the illegals will world for $3 an hour while junkies on the streets all dam day acting like fools and scramming off of people

  • Dave
    November 7, 2018 at 10:02 am

    Once a shithole…always a shithole

  • deflateddoritodinks
    November 7, 2018 at 8:53 am

    Look like Pawsox fans to me!

  • Beato
    November 6, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    Well I can see those $2,000 apartments are “Now Leasing”. Want one? This will be your view!

  • Judge dread
    November 6, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    It looks like he ones who got beat tried to get up and regroup for a counter offensive, but instead the woman found a crack rock that was misplaced and decided to regroup in an alley and plan their counter offensive.

    I’m sure they were studying West Point military strategy books while they were blasting rocks, as to not lose the street battle next time.

    • Woop
      November 7, 2018 at 8:58 am

      !!!!!!!!!!!!!

      At Hell on the Hastings, they’ll teach ratchet small arms tactics in the same class that they teach attacks on fixed positions held by a superior force, as demonstrated by 1LT Richard Winters’ small unit attack on Brecourt Manor on 6 June 1944.

      • Judge dread
        November 7, 2018 at 8:10 pm

        That’s the best reply to any of my comments. Rock on brother.

      • History buff
        November 10, 2018 at 9:35 am

        …as demonstrated by 1LT Richard Winters’ small unit attack on Brecourt Manor on 6 June 1944.

        A reference to a great man! In the boxed set of Band of Brothers, there is an interview with Dick Winters just before he passed. Winters was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross for his actions, and has been considered for the Medal of Honor. Let’s hope he ultimately receives it.

        Currahee!

  • Phil M.
    November 6, 2018 at 8:00 pm

    Ratchets, junkies, and illegal aliens. A liberal utopia.
    You fucking idiots in this state bet what you vote for

  • whatevuh
    November 6, 2018 at 6:36 pm

    This is precisely why I don’t go into Worcester after dark . . . . . . Round ’em up and send them to Pawtucket, good exchange I’m sure . . . .

  • Whitey Bulger
    November 6, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    No better way to show the way in Mass. I’m so glad to have left that Commonwealth!

  • in02151
    November 6, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    People that shoot in portrait and not landscape should be drawn and quartered.

  • Acid Bath
    November 6, 2018 at 5:21 pm

    They’re not going away at any time. You know the only solution to this is to shoot them.
    Only Democrats will give a shit, and their opinion doesn’t matter.

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