Holla Akbar Pubewaffle Is Revere’s Official Food Stamp Delivery Boy Broker, Selling Other People’s EBT On Facebook And Delivering To Your Door
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It’s not Food Stamp Friday but we haven’t done one of these in a while, and this poonstachio was just too hard not to blog about…….
It’s pretty easy to buy food stamps on Facebook, but it’s not easy finding a food stamp delivery boy. Here’s my question – do you have to tip him? Because I got tip for ya, but I don’t think you’re gonna like what follows it, because ultimately you’re getting shafted. Just sayin.
Here’s another question – why is he selling his “friend’s” food stamps? By the looks of it it sounds like Luis Aponte from Revere is some sort of food stamp broker. He’s purporting himself to be the middle man here. Why would the source of the food stamps not just sell their own stamps? Are they moving so much product that they had to outsource their inventory to a third party? How much is the pubewaffle charging to do something the food stamp owner could easily just do themselves?
Unfortunately for this juice donkey there weren’t many takers. Most were telling him how unwise it was to sell taxpayer funded entitlements on the world’s largest social media network. The only one interested was this winner:
But we’ll give her a pass because she saved gay folks from ISIS after the Pulse Nightclub shooting:
King Luis the 100th emoji has a lot of hobbies, most of which involve iPhones, bathroom selfies, and dog filters:
Oh, and quality time with special friends in the bathroom
He clearly prioritizes the important things in life, which mostly revolves around getting his bootleg chinstrap touched up every other day at one of those barber shops that takes two hours to do a zero fade:
At the barber shop he likes to rock his Armani white tees 100 emoji:
Because apparently being a food stamp broker delivery boy is a lucrative industry, and pubewaffle McGillicutty is always rocking the freshest pair of Jordan’s.
And in the least surprising news ever, Holla Akbar is on and off of probation every few months, which drastically affects his tolerance for blunts to the dome.
But yea, tell me more about how this never happens. That’s what they keep telling me – it’s a waste of time and money to investigate this stuff because hardly anyone does it. Meanwhile anyone who has actually lived in a dump like Revere knows damn well that all it takes is one phone call and you have have food stamps literally delivered to your door for just 60-75% face value. Don’t forget to tip your driver though! Luis needs a new pair of Jordan’s and a tight fade this Friday!