Hoodrat Heroes

Holla Akbar Pubewaffle Is Revere’s Official Food Stamp Delivery Boy Broker, Selling Other People’s EBT On Facebook And Delivering To Your Door

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Holla Akbar Pubewaffle Is Revere’s Official Food Stamp Delivery Boy Broker, Selling Other People’s EBT On Facebook And Delivering To Your Door

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

The Turtleboy Sports, Lost Boys of Turtle, Turtleboy Fallout Shelter, and Turtleboy Safe Space have all been unpublished. Turtleboy Refugees is suspended for 7 days. To keep up with our posts follow the Turtleboy Sports Black Lives Matter Page by clicking on the image above. Also follow Turtleboy Smiles and Sunshine, and Turtleboy Sports Alpha Backup Page.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not Food Stamp Friday but we haven’t done one of these in a while, and this poonstachio was just too hard not to blog about…….

It’s pretty easy to buy food stamps on Facebook, but it’s not easy finding a food stamp delivery boy. Here’s my question – do you have to tip him? Because I got tip for ya, but I don’t think you’re gonna like what follows it, because ultimately you’re getting shafted. Just sayin.

Here’s another question – why is he selling his “friend’s” food stamps? By the looks of it it sounds like Luis Aponte from Revere is some sort of food stamp broker. He’s purporting himself to be the middle man here. Why would the source of the food stamps not just sell their own stamps? Are they moving so much product that they had to outsource their inventory to a third party? How much is the pubewaffle charging to do something the food stamp owner could easily just do themselves?

Unfortunately for this juice donkey  there weren’t many takers. Most were telling him how unwise it was to sell taxpayer funded entitlements on the world’s largest social media network. The only one interested was this winner:

But we’ll give her a pass because she saved gay folks from ISIS after the Pulse Nightclub shooting:

King Luis the 100th emoji has a lot of hobbies, most of which involve iPhones, bathroom selfies, and dog filters:

Oh, and quality time with special friends in the bathroom

He clearly prioritizes the important things in life, which mostly revolves around getting his bootleg chinstrap touched up every other day at one of those barber shops that takes two hours to do a zero fade:

At the barber shop he likes to rock his Armani white tees 100 emoji:

Because apparently being a food stamp broker delivery boy is a lucrative industry, and  pubewaffle McGillicutty is always rocking the freshest pair of Jordan’s.

And in the least surprising news ever, Holla Akbar is on and off of probation every few months, which drastically affects his tolerance for blunts to the dome.

But yea, tell me more about how this never happens. That’s what they keep telling me – it’s a waste of time and money to investigate this stuff because hardly anyone does it. Meanwhile anyone who has actually lived in a dump like Revere knows damn well that all it takes is one phone call and you have have food stamps literally delivered to your door for just 60-75% face value. Don’t forget to tip your driver though! Luis needs a new pair of Jordan’s and a tight fade this Friday!

12 Comment(s)
  • Anonymous
    January 4, 2018 at 11:55 am

    Aponte is a name familiar to this site, isn’t it?

    He has too much time on his hands to take a bunch of selfies.

  • johnnyb
    January 3, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    Some advice…switch up on those bathroom selfies Holla..The green tiles and that circle thing just can’t be good for yo cred..

    • hmmm
      January 3, 2018 at 9:05 pm

      IDK – he is more than just GAF…he is GAF100%. Maybe in those circles the green tiles are worth bonus points.

  • Dude is ugly
    January 3, 2018 at 12:33 pm

    Man for somebody who spends his whole day trying to look good…..well let’s just say what disappointing results

  • M
    January 3, 2018 at 12:05 pm

    I’m a huge advocate for completely eliminating most forms of welfare (including but not limited to SNAP). It only seems to breed laziness, and its overall benefit to society is questionable at best. At the very least, people who benefit from it should be required to pay it back, or perform community service before being able to draw a check. Nonetheless, there will always be people who try to take advantage, as is demonstrated on a daily basis.

    This, by the way, is coming from someone who was laid off yesterday morning. Instead of marching down to the welfare office, I submitted a half dozen job applications, applied for unemployment (funded by your previous employer; not taxpayers), and revised my budget. I will cut back on the number of times I eat out and eliminate anything that is not considered a necessity from my budget until I am gainfully employed again

    • Finn
      January 3, 2018 at 9:17 pm

      M,

      “This, by the way, is coming from someone who was laid off yesterday morning. Instead of marching down to the welfare office, I submitted a half dozen job applications, applied for unemployment (funded by your previous employer; not taxpayers), and revised my budget. I will cut back on the number of times I eat out and eliminate anything that is not considered a necessity from my budget until I am gainfully employed again”

      That’s awesome! You’re doing all the right things. I’ve been there. I quit a lucrative job thinking, “I’m not being appreciated. It’s not fair!! Hey, I’ll get one another so fast. They will MISS me here.” [insert crickets chirping]. Then it was 1 month, then 3, then 6 … Then I ate a piece of humble pie. After 9 months, I found a place where I feel like I contribute and love being at.

      Everyone is replaceable (fortunately or unfortunately) – so we don’t have to settle for something we don’t like to do, but we have to swallow our pride sometimes and get a reality check.

      Fondly,
      Finn

    • Bill
      January 3, 2018 at 10:34 pm

      We are hiring. What do you do?

      • M
        January 5, 2018 at 8:00 am

        I WAS a Package Delivery Courier

  • Sheik Yerbouti
    January 3, 2018 at 11:27 am

    Hah! My ancestors would have forced him to build pyramids. You Yankee infidels are so stupid, instead of capturing slaves who are useless for anything else but slavery, you give them coupons for food that they sell to other potential slaves! This one would have the tattoos whipped off of him by now.

  • Mrs. Aponte...Luis's Momma
    January 3, 2018 at 10:52 am

    Wow….he is sexy! Wouldn’t mind running my face over that chinstrap a few times

  • Vladimir PutInAss
    January 3, 2018 at 10:16 am

    What a loser!

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It