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  • This Cape Cod Family Of Juggalos Is The Ghetto Dream Team – Crack, Heroin, Penis Severing, Hit and Runs, Jail, Face Tats, Rotten Cooters, GoFundMe Pages, And Accusations Of Teenage Incest 



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    What do you get when you take three generations of drug use, the Insane Clown Posse, GoFundMe’s galore, and a prime spot on the Barnstable PD page as a Scared Straight mascot?

    The Ables family out of Cape Cawd.

    Now, I can’t take credit for finding this one. The group of OG Turtleriders, headed by Brett, Stella, Lisa, Sandee and Tammy, invaded the Threw Up In Fall River page a few days ago. It was in response to when we reported on the baby-beating tat artist looking for someone to sit on his craptastic tattoo-billboard of a face. Our squad basically burned the post to the ground.

    While the dipshits defending him were pretty meh, it basically lead us to a family with so much ghetto stank it’s like if Alex Haley’s Roots was written by Kid Rock.

    Anjaemarie, which looks like a losing hand of scrabble rather than a name, went straight free my Boi on anyone challenging the guy who actually pleaded guilty, and spent time in jail, for beating his toddler.

    As you can see… Brett took a shine to her. That’s never a good thing.

    Now, if you say something stupid the turtle posse is going to start looking at your profile. What they managed to dig up was straight hot-take magic.



    Anjaemarie is a seventeen year old unwed mother who is a Juggalette.

    It’s not hard to see how she got knocked up so early when she’s not even 18 and looking for someone to choke and scratch her.

    Anjae was apparently given up for adoption because of her mother Elizabeth’s crack addiction. That means a GoFundMe was inevitable.


    -record scratch-

    Wait, what? What is Mr. Chino referring to here? Now, you’ve got my attention.

    I don’t see a damn person denying the allegations that the brother is the father yet.

    Still no one denying it…

    Okay, one lady says rumor but Anajae never denies that the kid was a product of a one branch family tree. WTF.

    She doesn’t care. She’s got a crisis of faith going on deep within her Juggalo soul.

    Look, if you are sitting there wondering if you should stop listening to a bunch of assholes dressed as clowns, are the beacons for white trash fatties, and doing drugs and drinking… just call DCF right now.  Just give that kid a better life by giving up your rights. You don’t deserve to be a parent. Oh wait….

    There is always one on these posts, in this case Diane, that “can relate.” It never fails. As you noticed  Grammy Ables chimed in with an “F off.”

    Nancy is the Ables family matriarch.

    Back in her younger days Nancy had a fondness for beating her daughter Elizabeth. She admitted it in this article from the Cape Cod Times Elizabeth was featured in:

    Elizabeth, aka Butrfli, was locked up after a crack rampage, and volunteered for an interview on the opiate epidemic for the Barnstable Sheriff. We all know that there is nothing a junkie, who is clean for a hot minute, loves more than to talk about sobriety. The train wreck starts at 2:25 here:

    Elizabeth ended by telling the film maker about how bad her cooter and breath smelled because she hadn’t washed the face or snizz in like four months. They softened the language for the newspaper but it was all on the  video. Elizabeth also goes to talk about the time Nancy ran her over with a car. Seems Butrfli was tired of living, ate a bottle of percs and drank a ton, and went after her mother. Nancy just mowed her down.

    I know I’m paraphrasing here, but the quote from the CCT reporter just cracked me up. “She’s got a sweet ass butterfly tat right next to her giant skidmark on her cheek.” They didn’t mention her White Snake hair and her black eyes that look as vacantly evil as the Jaws shark.

    She would have flashbacks of her “tragic” accident. Now, I know if I swallowed a bottle of percs I wouldn’t even remember if South Shore Turtlemom ran me over with a mini van. Don’t tell me it’s tragic. You don’t even remember it.

    Now, if you’re down with the clown, Elizabeth wants to party with you.

    She gave her kids up for adoption so she had tons of free time!

    But don’t give her any shit or she’ll chase you around and try to cut your dick off with a machete.

    Or try to light your house on fire…

    or Big Bad Wolf your house and slash your tires…

    But she’s a good mom and you should give her all your money for her new apartment.

    Yeah kid. She sounds like a real treat.

    She needed the money because she was tired of getting her ass whipped in to shape by the woman who ran her halfway house she was living in.

    I love it when the whole family come out to call people cunts and “ignrent.” It makes me so emotional to see them all bonding over their hatred of a woman who is in charge of keeping this Guttermuppet in line!! Maybe if you hadn’t smoked a bunch of crack, let your cooter ripen to the point of decrepit, tried to Juggalo-chop someone’s wiener, kicked a door in, abandon your kids so they get knocked up by their half-siblings, and then slashed some tires, you wouldn’t have to be babysat. It’s always going to be someone else’s fault.

    I can’t say I’ve seen a family this fucked up since the Lopes clan of Taunton.

    If you have the misfortune of knowing these slam beasts feel free to message me your dirt. Something tells me that we just scratched the surface of these multi-generational skanks and I want to hear all of it.

     

     

     

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    South Shore Turtlegirl

    [email protected] Covering the dirty south shore and coast. Email me with tips or communities you'd like me to watch for stupidity.

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    Discussion

    1. The Poop Hole Loop Hole


      First! Keep it up SSTG. Funny shit!

    2. Turd Burglestein


      Haha man…Brett just killed me with that fupapotamus comment he made. Man…I wish I could come across one of these dumpsterfires in the making on fb. I’d really have some fun in on that action.

    3. BobnMic's Tiny Penis


      I don’t know which Elizabeth is hotter, so I’m going to have to go on record and say I’d do them both. Just hope they don’t break out in laughter like all the other women do when I whip this thing out.

    4. WHATEVUH


      remember when Cape Cod was a nice place?

      1. Stu Pidazzo


        Holy shit! I was thinking the same thing. These low lifes get to live in one of the most unique and beautiful parts of the country on the taxpayer dime. Life is so bad they have to turn to “disease”. Here’s an idea: get a job and, at quitting time, grab a few beers and drive 15 minutes east and hang out on the beach. No “disease” required.

      2. Bill Brasky


        Yeah I do, as a kid it was the best..now its shythole full of guttermuppets…keep accepting section 8, keep building low income…cape cod is fckd!

    5. Cocomom


      Crikey!!! Seriously: poster people for involuntary sterilization.

    6. Thomas Doubting


      Holy Crap, you open a welfare office in Hyannis and the entire Cape turns into Lawrence. Great job Massachusetts. Turning even the tourism reliant Cape into a toilet bowl. There was a time when the Cape only made the news because of traffic jams on rt. 28 in the summertime. Now it’s in the news every other day and it’s always drugs, drugs and more drugs. Time to sell the cottage.

    7. hahahaohreally


      ok, why are people STILL juggalos???? Didn’t that shit die yet? We get it, you’re white trash and need to follow a group, but dressing up as a prostitute clown and letting a dude who drive a 95 Jetta knock you up is no way to live your life!! I might be stereotyping if that wasn’t EVERY juggalo girl EVER.

    8. WHATEVUH


      Nancy is engaged? How fucking hard up would you have to be, to marry that dumpster-slug? Holy shit !

    9. Wtf


      So far Brett is the only one to use the word PLED instead of fucking pleaded. Thank you Brett! So happy and i have only read the first paragraph. Now on to the rest. Lol.

      1. Linda


        And while pled may be the preferred usage, Grammarist notes that pleaded is the standard form: Pleaded is the standard past-tense and past-participial form of the verb plea. Pled has always been considered incorrect by usage authorities, but it’s so common that we have to accept it.

        Just like dreamt and dreamed. They are both correct and acceptable.

    10. Nikki


      gene police.
      GET OUT OF THE POOL!

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