12 Reasons Soccer Is The Worst And Won’t Ever Catch On In America

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook


Reblog from the other blog we merged with. 

Last night I was watching ESPN for some strange reason, and soccer came on. NHL playoffs are on, and we’re getting updates from Chelsea about the Premier League. Couldn’t care less about soccer. There’s just so much to dislike about soccer that I don’t know where to start. So I figured I’d throw him a bone and write about soccer. Here’s the Top 12 reasons soccer sucks….

12. The best soccer players aren’t big.

What kind of sport’s best players are 150 pounds? In America people like this get swirlies and wedgies. In Europe they get millions of dollars and Euro-babes. We like our players ginormous and roided out of their minds. If every player in the NFL wasn’t on something it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.23.47 AM

11. The best soccer countries are in Europe.

If there’s any continent with less exciting people in the world, it’s Europe. Particularly Western Europe. At least if like Bulgaria, Serbia, and Albania were better we’d probably have a lot more angry ex-communists to watch. They’d probably be a lot tougher too. But unfortunately the best countries in the World Cup year in and year out are from Western Europe. There have only been EIGHT different countries to have won the World Cup since it began. EIGHT!!! And five of those are from Western Europe (Germany, England, France, Italy, Spain). How is anyone supposed to become invested in a sport that Italy and France are two of the best in? I’ll start watching soccer once Africa starts to dominate. I only watch Soccer during the World Cup, and I only root for the U.S. and any African team. They’re faster and they don’t whine and dive as much. And most of them have already fought in at least two civil wars so they’re as battle tested as you get.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.24.00 AM

10. ESPN covers soccer.

ESPN is a joke. This isn’t exactly a secret anymore. I can’t make it through 10 minutes of Sports Center before I have to turn the TV off.  For years now ESPN has been trying to make us give a shit about soccer and NASCAR in between their coverage of LeBron’s latest dunk. It’s not happening.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.24.14 AM

9. MLS soccer is terrible.

How are Americans supposed to become interested in a sport whose best leagues are across the pond? Not that I’d watch the best players if they came to MLS, but it’s just one more reason to not give a shit. The best hockey players in the world aren’t from the U.S., but they do play in our league. Same goes with baseball. The best basketball players come here too. MLS soccer I’ve been told is second rate at best. The only thing worse than it are the “diehards” that actually go to the games.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.24.29 AM

8. No stats.

Americans like statistics. We need to be able to quantify a player’s value so that we know who to boo. Baseball, basketball, and football are pretty easy. Hockey can be a little trickier because they don’t score THAT much, but there’s also power play points, hits, blocked shots, penalty minutes, and other categories that make it easy to hate and love certain players. What are the stats in soccer? Even a shot is considered a big deal. In a soccer game the average is 10-12 shots per game by each team. And it’s a 90 minute game, so you’re getting roughly a shot every 9 minutes. And even then usually it’s not close. All you need to know about soccer is that the highlights of the game are usually missed shots. Soccer sucks.

7. Soccer is too easy to play.

So my friend I was talking to yesterday tried telling me that soccer was the hardest sport to play in the world. His argument was that because so many people play soccer worldwide, it’s the hardest to separate yourself from the rest. I steadfastly disagree. Soccer is the EASIEST sport to play in the world. Baseball is the hardest. Hitting a ball in a split second that ranges from 60-100 mph and may or may not break at the last moment, is easily the hardest thing to do in all of sports. In football you have to get knocked around by gigantic men and hold onto the ball. You have to throw and catch in traffic too. In basketball you have to be able to put a ball in the net that’s a fraction the size of a soccer goal. In hockey you have to skate and play with broken ribs. In soccer you kick a ball. Sometimes you trap it with your chest. Sometimes you head it. Other times you throw it in over your head. Not exactly brain surgery.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.24.54 AM

6. America has better sports.

There’s only so many sports that we have time to watch. Nothing can compare to football. College and high school basketball are at least entertaining. The closest thing we have to soccer is hockey. And quite frankly hockey is just vastly superior to soccer. It’s faster. The players are more likable. It has power plays. It has hitting. It has fights. It’s awesome. Soccer is basically the same concept as hockey except much more boring and feminine. The only sport you can make a case for is baseball. Baseball sucks to watch. I’m not sure how it became our national pastime, but we’re stuck with it. At least baseball gives us cool things like home runs and stolen bases. Soccer has nothing like this to offer.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.25.07 AM

5. The field is too big.

Soccer fields are 110 meters long. That’s way too big. The cameras have to zoom out to get a better picture of the field and because of that you can’t see the action as well. A player gets the ball all by himself. He plays around with it. Then a defender comes over to harass him a little bit. At this point the offending player kicks the ball to the other half of the field and this continues on. Soccer fields should be cut down to no more than 75 yards with the same amount of players. And the goals should be moved up like they are in hockey or lacrosse. Having the ball behind the goalie makes it a lot more interesting. Until they do that it’s just boring.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.25.18 AM

4. Extra time.

Because so many players take dives and lie on the ground in excruciating pain, a lot of time is wasted. In soccer the clock doesn’t stop moving. It also counts up instead of down. This makes it very anticlimactic. Viewers have to do math, particularly subtraction, in order to know how much time is left. This requires borrowing numbers and doing it in your head. Not cool. So, in order to make up for this wasted time the referees arbitrarily decide how much “extra time” will be added after the 90 minutes of play is up. And then when play is wasted in extra time, they arbitrarily add more extra, extra time. Games never end with a furious attack on the net. They usually end the way the majority of the game was played: some guy playing with the ball at midfield.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.25.43 AM

3. American soccer fans.

American soccer fans are the worst. They want you to like soccer so bad. They talk about it all the time on Facebook. It’s like they have this cult identity and want to sell it to you. This makes me want to watch soccer so much less. The less I have in common with these people the better.

2. Flopping.

This makes the game completely unwatchable. I can’t watch any more Euro-weenies dramatically fall down and play dead whenever they feel like it. For some reason this is “part of the game.” It’s the weakest part of the NBA, and what makes it borderline unwatchable too. Stop trying to tell me how tough these players are. None of them are tough. If they were tough they wouldn’t play a sport like soccer.

1. Ties.

These are simply inexcusable. Over 40% of soccer games end in ties. It can’t possibly get any stupider than that. Chances are that you would go to a game, invest all this time in it, and end up feeling like you just had a vacation in purgatory. That and they call a lot of their games “friendlies.” Does it gay any more Euro-weenie than calling a game a “friendly?” Hockey got rid of the tie years ago and it’s been great for the sport. Football has ties, but Donovon McNabb just doesn’t know about them because they hardly ever happen. And a lot of these ties are done on purpose. When a crappy team like Algeria plays Italy in the World Cup, the goal of Algeria is to tie. They know they can’t win, so the longer they just kick it around and waste time, the better their chances for the tie. Doesn’t get any worse than that.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 12.25.57 AM

So what do you think? Is soccer ever going to catch on around here? Are there any other parts of soccer that are terrible? Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook


107 Comment(s)
  • J
    August 28, 2021 at 9:31 pm

    I agree with the general premise. Soccer is boring—period—and this is coming from someone who played soccer. Yes, in junior high, but let’s be honest, it’s not much more difficult as an adult. However, your point that “Africans” would make it more interesting is BS. Couldn’t disagree more.

    A, how is that less racist than me saying I only care about white teams, and B, I only care about white teams. We have enough black athletes on TV. It’s why I hate basketball and why I am now mostly turned off football. We got it. They’re better athletes. They’re also why it’s gone downhill.

    Otherwise, you’re spot on.

  • Bran
    April 26, 2021 at 1:57 pm

    Us Americans hate soccer because they aren’t the best at it. The ignorance is amazing, listening to people who have no idea talk crap about it. I’ve played Baseball, Football, and Soccer. Soccer was the hardest sport physically and mentally. In High School our WARM UP consisted of running 3 miles, then we practiced for 3 hours after the run. I had 4 concussions and had my eyeball knocked out. My nose was broken 3 times which required surgery, and I also had to have my shoulder and ankle reconstructed. Skillwise… baseball definately doesn’t compare. Imagine if homeplate was constantly being moved all over the field and the batter never new where they might have to hit a pitch. Then baseball would be more on par. Baseball is scripted. In every situation you know what a player is trying to do. A hit to right field, you know where the outfielder is going to throw that ball. The only question is can they execute.

    • http user
      June 26, 2021 at 10:16 pm

      Proud that America is bad at soccer. A game with so many ties should be deposited into the dustbin of history. Unfortunately, many stupid ideas stick around seemingly forever. My only wish is that we Americans could become the world’s absolute worst at soccer.

    • I’ve HockeyKnowsSoccerBlows
      July 31, 2021 at 7:45 am

      Try playing ice hockey funny boy.

    • All that means…
      July 31, 2021 at 7:52 am

      All that mean is that you’re clumsy and injury-prone, also likely brain-injured.

  • FrankB
    April 11, 2021 at 3:41 am

    This is an entertaining blogpost, ao because it rather gives 12 reasons why the USA is the worst.

    April 8, 2021 at 4:36 pm

    Thank you! Soccer is a terrible game! It is far too simple and boring for spectators, and tedious and tiring for players. It’s like a game a four-year-old child would come up with. At least hockey has the distinction of being on ice, and it has fistfights. And you’re right about American soccer fans — totally insufferable and envious of their foreign counterparts who have a vibrant fan culture revolving around soccer. Every other sport is better. Darts is better. Competitive eating is better. Rhythmic gymnastics, caber toss, hand-fishing, cup-stacking, a push-up contest, cockfighting – all of them are better. NO SOCCER!

  • Mort T
    January 22, 2021 at 12:35 pm

    While there are serious soccer injuries, in general players can play their whole career and retire with most of their brain cells intact. America is killing its youth by playing tackle football under 16 years-old. Most if not all the players come from a poor background and the majority are from minority groups. The typical American fan doesn’t really care about the long-term health effects on these modern gladiators. Players use PEDS (steroids, growth hormones, etc) to get bigger and faster, and use pain killers and anti-inflammatories to stay on the field. Through in the damage from repeated sub-concussive hits in training, practice and games plus the horrific damage from big hits in games and it is a wonder retired players aren’t even worse off.
    The parents of today, rich or poor, aren’t going to continue to serve up their precious sons so big-time college football and the NFL can generate billions. Once the colleges and then high schools start being held accountable for the damage they have caused, football will head sharply downward because the product will be uninsurable.

  • Lol
    March 15, 2020 at 2:57 am

    All of you guys sound anxious to talk shit on soccer. If you like it, you like it. If you don’t, then you don’t. Just cause no one gives you the attention you want, it don’t mean you gotta be all pissy about it and talk shit

  • MillerTime
    October 30, 2019 at 4:36 pm

    Soccer.. The preferred sport of Socialists. Yes indeed soccer sux my balls

  • Ameen Abdul-Rahim
    August 1, 2019 at 7:11 am

    Don’t make up stats. U said over 40% of soccer games are tied. Thats totally false. In the 2016/17 premier league season only 22.1 percent of 380 games were tied.

  • Michael Gaff
    July 13, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    Back in the 70’s, I had 100 bumper stickers printed.
    They simply said “Soccer Sux.”
    I sold them in our scuba shop for $1.
    They were gone in about a week.
    Soccer still sux.
    Boring shit, revered by Central Americans and fucking Europeans.
    Big deal.

    • Lol
      March 15, 2020 at 3:08 am

      You know that most Americans either have European, South American, African, or Asian blood ties right? Mostly, Europeans tho.

  • Bobbo
    June 30, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Soccer, at best, is track and field with a ball. I don’t like when Cam does his kardashian inspired “look at me, I need validation and attention” superman pose. So you know Rapinoe can kiss my hetero butt. (I only say hetero b/c everyone is highlighting, including Rap, her sexual orientation. So I wanted everyone to know I love boobs. Big boobs with large aereolas and thimble sized nipples. In fact, whenever I throw my frisbee disk during a match, I yell “hetero orientation pride for all straight men who love warm, soft, fleshy valleys.” It really is liberating to be proud of what gets me off. Everyone at all times should always state what they like to fuck in public no matter what. #proudsextrumpeter) All soccer players can kiss me rear. They score a goal, run to the corner while taking their shirts off, slide, and scream, “look at me, I’m awesome, I’m so amazing I want to have sex with myself right now!”
    I just watched the us women beat france. I changed the channel often due to boredom. I found I was horny for some hot, dark skinned french chick with gorgeous brown eyes (#pride). I intermittently changed to a replay of a 1994 week 1 football game between the dolphins and the patriots and found myself more enthralled even though I watched that game when I was 24, nearly 30 years ago.
    I watched the men play germany back in ’14 and for 2 hours, nothing. In extra time I got up to pee, as soon as the relief stream splashed down I hear, “gooooaaaaallllllll” from the other room. Two hours, a piss, and nothing.
    But what really tells me soccer is bullshit is this. I never played soccer, ever. I did watch Maradona’s coke induced handball. I did watch Pele on his American tour. I did watch the “99 women’s squad. But never played. I played football, basketball and baseball. One day we had a 5v5 between some real athletes and soccer players. We, the real athletes who never played soccer once, beat the 5 guys who played soccer for 10 years and were on an organized team. Now they ran around a lot. Boy they could run. Run all day. I bent a corner kick right to a footballer who kicked the living christ out of it into the net. I bent the ball. With no experience, no practice, no instructions, bent the ball like Beckham, the greatest soccer “athlete” of our day. Could Beckham hit a baseball, catch a pass, block a lineman with no experience? Hah, hell no! Could some mid grade 19 year old born with leg braces like forest gump bend a soccer ball on his first try? Yeppers! In the vein of Twain, I wouldn’t want to be a member of a club that would have someone like me as a member. If some no experience trashlete like me can bend a ball like an international superstar who’s played for 30 years, well, that says it all.

  • hifijohn
    June 24, 2019 at 2:18 am

    My first experience with soccer was back in the mid 70’s, my mom was from yugoslavia and she went back there to visit and I went along, one day one of her friend said they were going to take me to a football game and I stupidly thought he meant an american football game, it was an experience sadly i will never forget.If you ever wondered why there are so many soccer riots, wonder no more, soccer attracts the lowest of the lowest form of humanity,smelly, half drunk ,trouble makers, constant smoking.The game was about as boring as you can get, just a bunch of colorful dots mindlessly running around chasing after a ball .The ball goes here the ball goes there, here,there,there, here etc,etc.After the game my ears were ringing from all the chanting and cheering and my nose hurt from the stink of thousands of unwashed sweaty yugoslavian soccer fans.Im happy to report that was my first and last soccer experience in my life.

    • lee
      December 11, 2019 at 12:04 pm

      I watched my kids play soccer and was bored too. Only boxing and soccer to idiots bite peoples ears off! Soccer is a poor sport all u need is dirt and a ball and two feet and a mouth to bite ur opponents ears off :-)! Granted I don’t like football either but I can actually watch it for ten minutes without losing all my brain cells. Baseball is boring to watch but fun to play. The best sport is co-ed swimming!

    • i love soccer
      February 19, 2020 at 10:38 pm

      your just mad that you arent good at it. soccer is actually a very difficult sport. dont say dumb shit. you obviously dont know a thing. also your points are very stupid. soccer has very cool things, your just too dumb to notice it.

  • Nonny Muss
    April 6, 2019 at 10:28 am

    Reason #13, which imo should be Reason #1: (Having become universal annoyances to any sports fans) advertisers have many more opportunities to pimp their products and services during basketball, baseball, and football games because those sports have frequent breaks (some of which are imposed by NBA, NFL, and MLB). Obviously, soccer does not.

    Since sports are now all about the money, and since network advertising charging obscene fees for even 15 seconds of air time, soccer cannot compete for advertising dollars; advertisers are attracted to big-time events like UEFA Champions League, FIFA World Cup, and the Olympics. In a way, you are correct that soccer will never catch on…for advertisers. Furthermore, some of the most lucrative contracts are for paid endorsements, and that money has to be originating from SOMEWHERE.

    I merely view biased blogs are really nothing more than click bait, so I take your redneck-sounding screed as merely a vehicle for gaining attention. “Soccer is for pussies” has been mouthfarted for nearly a century, so it’s a safe bet to attract attention, pro and con.

    As in most other aspects of life, follow the money if you want to get close(r) to the truth.

  • Jack Meoff
    April 30, 2018 at 12:19 am

    I have to agree with the author. Many Americans including myself find soccer for the most part unwatchable. We are just used to sports that are higher scoring and have more action. Soccer by our standards is far too slow and deliberate……and outright boring. If you want to flatter yourself by suggesting that we hate it because the U.S.A. “sucks at it” I will leave you with these thoughts………We are not even remotely jealous of the European countries who take soccer seriously. We honestly could not care less about it. The overwhelming majority of our best athletes compete in our other major sports and if they chose to compete in soccer would be far too big, fast and athletically superior for the wimpy dudes with the girly haircuts to compete against. It doesn’t bother us a bit if people from outside our borders hate our real men’s sports like football and hockey. It shouldn’t bother you that we can’t stand soccer. The fact that it does is proof to us that deep down you realize we are right.

  • Jack
    March 1, 2018 at 2:35 pm

    so I as an American still love soccer when i found out about it at age 7 and have played it ever since. if someone could make an article about why football sucks and send it to this guy that would be amazing

  • larry8
    June 13, 2017 at 4:24 am

    most stupid article I’vs seen in mu life

  • annoymus
    April 3, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    honestly this is the most bias piece of shit article ever fucking written. bias as hell. highest paid athletes play soccer are paid the equivalent of 400 million fucking dollars. soccer is not the easiest fucking sport, not that other sports are easy either. however, soccer is unique the use of FEET not HANDS. and before you say it’s fucking easy, I don’t see your dumbass fucking playing. how fucking stupid are you statists aren’t everything, before you say anything fucking ANYTHING, get fucking sources you dumb whore. garbage fucking article. stupid slut.

  • Raymond Harvey Highletter
    March 4, 2017 at 3:17 am

    Anyone else notice that the extra time board is actually a giant condom wrapper?

    • zerofucksgiven
      April 21, 2018 at 8:34 am

      Ill second the idea of soccer being a sport for pantywasted, limp wristed, noodle necks. its drawn the attention of gay men and straight women around the world. pretty boy haircuts sprinting around pretending to be hurt or even cool as they pass the ball backwards away from the goal, is about as interesting to the others as watching vanilla ice jumprope for 90…i mean 95 minutes

  • L
    January 26, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    I can’t bring myself to really like Soccer. I don’t know why, to me it’s just boring. Like I understand you need to be fit to play the sport, but if there was more contact like football or rugby maybe I could watch it but that’s not going to happen. Also to the people saying baseball isn’t a sport, as far as I am concerned you need to be physically fit in order to play the sport. It’s not as easy as it looks to hit a tiny ball with a thin wooden bat and being able to throw a full 400ft as CF is a demanding job. I have to be at my local weight room 4 days a week. There is a lot more going into baseball then just what you see in TV.

  • soccer fan
    January 21, 2017 at 11:06 am

    there is statistics. it is the worlds most popular sport, and will ALWAYS be. American football is just a bunch of retarded spastics charging around at each other while one blind person tries to throw

  • Preds Nation
    October 24, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    Europeans and Third worlders will never admit it, but even they know deep down Soccer is very boring, and 90% keep away jogging, 5% truly threatening attacks. Without the nationalist rivalries attached to it, the game is pretty tedious. Same goes with Americans and Baseball, the game has so much history it’s a tiresome tradition. Every possible play in Baseball has been seen 1000x before. American’s will never admit that Football is pretty slow, but they know it’s true. 11 minutes of action spread out over 3 hours. Without a lifetime of conditioning it is practically impossible to watch a complete American Football match, without missing a few scrimmages at least. And basketball? giant men taking turns lobbing a ball into a hoop, a game designed for children, where the first 40 minutes barely count for anything.

    • cah
      June 24, 2018 at 3:18 pm

      that’ doesn’t really matter because the rest of the world watches soccer and America doesn’t – that argument doesn’t hold up. Even if you don’t like football there are sports like rugby that make soccer look pathetic, because it is. The only sport more boring to watch is golf which I think tie for the two worst professionally played sports.

  • Rui
    May 28, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    Wow, so you’re saying the most famous and watched sport in the world sucks? 😀

    I’ve never read such a dumb and stupid like this one.


  • Jeff
    October 13, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    This is the most fucking king stupid thing I’ve even seen you uneducated piece of shit go to fucking hell

  • ross
    October 8, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    the point of this entire article is why soccer will never catch on IN AMERICA. we don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. nothing in this article is about what anyone else thinks about it. but truly though, he’s right on a number of points, particularly points 5-1. the rest are amusing,but somewhat inaccurate.

    • Chandler
      October 8, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      Ross what are you talking about? No1 cares what any1 thinks, the writer didn’t give thought and your offering your thought of agreement? You posted at 9:10 so I might be late since I’m here though I’ll add on the topic. Nine 2 was also a thought of the writer. Soccer in US does have a fan base.That base might not be the most popular still it’s there non the less.

  • Ryan Teman
    October 3, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Soccer is probably the most popular sport in the world and like it or not it is growing in the United States. Look at the MLS, Seattle Sounders FC, a MLS team, has an average attendance of 43,000 a game. That beats some attendances of MLB games, not the Yankees or the Giants, but it beats the Mets and White Sox. Also, being able to end in a draw in a soccer game makes the game that much more exciting because the chances both teams are making are great and both teams are defending great. You can’t say flopping makes the sport dumb because not all players flop, only a few players do. I think the writer of this article needs to understand that SOCCER IS GROWING IN THE U.S!!

    Forca Barca

  • Bren
    October 3, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Seriously?! Some of these 12 reason are retarded! Soccer has more contact than you will have in your entire life.

  • kitty13
    September 29, 2014 at 2:17 am

    So I wonder why is it that probably all the anti-soccer articles are from americans? they just suck at it so much and they can’t stand the fact that they suck so they come up with all this anti-soccer shit like this. Soccer is probably the most difficult sport to play, unlike the NFL you can’t stop and rest while discussing tactics, you run for 90 min in a row and perform and change tactics while moving on, checking their aligment and your coach or assistant coaches signals, there are only 3 changes allowed per team, so the majority of players will actually be playing for 90 min or up to 120 if there is extra time, so you need a lot of fucking resistance only to last in a game, there are also all these rules that you need to keep track of, aligments and tactics are changed within the game, and do you think is easy to get the ball from a midfieler, get through 3 professional defenders and one professional goalkeeper to score a goal?, you need to pass the ball around while you find the best angles to get through, so obviously you don´t know shit about soccer, as I said this is obviously an american guy who can’t stand his country sucks at soccer.

    • Finnish goalie
      October 3, 2014 at 12:20 pm


    • Finnish goalie
      October 3, 2014 at 12:24 pm

      And how does the US suck? The country has made the World Cup on a continuing basis since 1990. It’s been one of the best 32 teams in the world for over 20 years if qualification is a credential you accept.

  • Finnish goalie
    September 22, 2014 at 8:34 am

    While not my favorite sport, and not one I’d really ever imagine starting a pick-up game of, I don’t understand the vocal opposition some have to the sport. I like the World Cup Event and enjoy the occasional Premier League game if I catch them on television.

    The Celtic FC and Sporting Portugal game at Fenway was a fun night, and the international tournaments we have the opportunity to see coming up are worth the attention if for the novelty if nothing else.

    I like to imagine there are more than a few chaps across the pond that have to hear ad nauseum how terrible the NFL is and listen to some London equivalents of Felger and Mazz each year around this time bring up the concept of “American Football. Has it arrived?”

    Thirty Somethings I feel are the last age group that grew up with it drilled into their heads that soccer is awful. High Schoolers by and large today love it, or accept it as a sport on par with the traditional ones.

  • Jay
    September 22, 2014 at 4:11 am

    The idiot who wrote this has no idea what he is talking about. Once again self-centered American mentality. Some Americans think that if the rest of the world doesn’t feel the same way we do, they’re wrong. First of all numbnuts, soccer is most popular sport in the world. There must be a reason, people in most countries don’t care who won Super Bowl or World series, which by the way is not the proper name.The world doesn’t consist of a championship’played by two teams from two states. Was it between US and any country in the world, that is not a world championship. And soccer players are in top shape.Baseball players with huge bellies, not athletic. Soccer is popular for a reason. It’s best sport and most popular in the world.Not baseball. And it requires amazing skill. Players run for 90 minutes in a much larger field. Compare to how long an average baseball player runs. Derek Jeter is probably recognized in maybe 10 countries around the world.Ask any kid in any part of the world who Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is and they will jump to meet him.Ask them who is Derek Jeter or any baseball player and they will not have any idea or care. Why is that? Soccer is most popular sport in the world. Not baseball.

    • Jay
      September 22, 2014 at 4:19 am

      And the best sport in the world. And sadly the US missed on best sport ever. Like someone here said, baseball is not a sport, it’s a game, like Monopoly or checkers.The fact that writer feels soccer players are not athletic, too skinny is laughable. If he got kicked in the head by a professional soccer player he’d say something completely different. The legs of a soccer player are lethal. And no, people don’t want to see a belly. Guess writer must be overweight jackass.

  • Rainer
    September 9, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    This here is, it seems to me, controlled opposition. Some powerful group is on its way to push soccer in America and dethrone the traditional American sports. The one sport they despise most is baseball.
    They created an opposition to themselves Frankfurt-School style that attacks their pushing soccer on the USA, but which opposition also attacks baseball. So baseball, the most American sport of all, is attacked from both sides, the powerful group and its soccer fans mentioned in #3 on the one hand and the author of this feature on the other hand in #6.

    • Finnish goalie
      September 22, 2014 at 6:51 am

      Give me my hockey. Keep your stickball.

  • thetipoff
    September 8, 2014 at 1:26 am

    I work fulltime in the game now that my time playing is up and I laughed my ass off when I read this.
    No need to get all worked up about this – in a sense of humor it is funny.
    If you know the game well or work inside of it, you have friends and kids parents that think alike. Smile. Nod. Finish your cheeseburger.

  • Waldo
    September 2, 2014 at 3:15 am

    I’ve played a lot of sports over my life, thankfully I am naturally gifted when it comes to athletics… that being said, the 2 sports in my opinion that require the most skill to play are Soccer and Hockey. If a 300 lb out of shape dude can play american football, how is that considered a real sport?

    The real problem that ensures soccer is not popular is money, that’s what Americans are all about. There is no way to commercialize soccer to make as much money as football or baseball. Those sports allow for a shit ton of Advertising, and as with anything else in america, lobby groups and advertising are what makes anything happen.

    • Rainer
      September 2, 2014 at 10:18 pm

      You need physical abilities to win a football match, or a baseball match, or at billiards. There is a broad field of athleticism of many different kinds of physical abilities you can have or not have independently of each other. If you can be fat and good at football, means you needn’t be slim or have stamina to be athletic.
      You have a definition in mind of “in shape” and “out of shape”. If according to your definition being fat disqualifies you from being counted “in shape”, then your definition does not describe athleticism in its entirety. Your definition is wrong or the use of the term shape, its idea is wrong.

      If something ensures, soccer isn’t popular in the USA, why classify it a “problem”. Only if you want to push this sport on Americans. This “shit ton of Advertising” ensured the sports are broadcast at all. In Europe, sports fans could see for a long time regular-season games only if they went into the stadium. The only matches broadcast were those of the World Cup and the Europe cup.

  • August 23, 2014 at 11:38 am

    The faggot that wrote this shit needs to fucking kill himself. Fucking shit cunt.

  • Rainer
    August 21, 2014 at 4:17 pm

    About stats: cricket is easy, too. Basketball isn’t easy but viable.
    But why hockey? Hockey can never be an American sport since the puck is not thrown.

    August 18, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    lol amercian football is that boring!!!!!!!a fucking sport that stops every fucking 5 minutes lol how can people get excited over this shit? Soccer is tha best

  • Joe
    August 12, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    Hey, fatass! Put your hamburger down, get your greasy self off your Couch and maybe play a game of football (What you obese American excuses for life forms, call soccer) once in your life. All your points are irrelevant

      August 18, 2014 at 10:04 pm


  • Eric
    August 6, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    You are so right about soccer sucking BIG TIME! It is a liberal sport that celebrates mediocrity. I would rather watch water boil than view 10 minutes of a soccer game.

    • August 31, 2014 at 8:26 am

      U had to b American nobody cares about what u think stupid whiteboy. Soccer is the best sport it has more fame and every 4 years their is a worldcup to see who the best of the world what sport does that besides soccer?? Just suck a American dick u piece of white trash all youal hate everything when the whole world hates white ppl youal the color of bird shit and spurm

      • Waldo
        September 2, 2014 at 3:15 am

        While I agree that he is completely off base here. Whats with the Racist comment? Your only making yourself look bad here. And to the OP, soccer is the most intense sport their is, this article makes it seem like you just dont understand what is happening in the pitch. If you think the sport is easy, then why are Americans so bad at it?

  • Allie
    August 6, 2014 at 4:47 am

    I’m not one of those fans who gets easily upset because someone doesn’t like soccer, but I have to say that so many of the points you made were very much false. First of all, the best players in the world are built. Look up Ronaldo, beckham, messi and you will see. Also, soccer is a very tough sport. I’m not saying it’s the hardest sport in the world because I know it isn’t, but it definitely isn’t easy. Running/sprinting for 90 minutes on a huge field is not even close to what you can call easy. No matter how good of shape you are in, after being on the field for 90 minutes you will inevitably feel extremely tired. So playing soccer is in no way easy. As for the flopping? It’s the Europeans and what can you do about that. You can’t really judge the sport and say it’s easy until you get up off your ass and actually go on the field and play it. So please, before you write a whole thing about how lame soccer is, know your facts

  • Dude
    August 4, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    Soccer is amazing. Soccer players are small so they can evade and move. The best Soccer players are in Europe because all of the Americans are taking roids and tackling each other for a few hours. ESPN covers Soccer because there are alot of fans, and some fans are VERY die hard. MLS soccer is terrible… That is, if you do not watch, like you. There are so many stats to cover, and face it, Anetcans are too lazy to think usually. Soccer is not easy to play at all, it is very exhausting, and players are usually extremely fast. America’s only good sports are Football (somewhat), Hockey (which was stolen from the great white Canada), and Baseball (which sucks). The field is huge because it makes it challenging, and Footballs field is too big too. There is extra time to make teams have a chance in a game if they are losing. I am an American Soccer fan (Canadian actually, preparing for dumb American stereotypes!) and have never mentioned Soccer in irrelivent situations, nor my Soccer friends. I do agree flopping is dumb, but it is penalized. Ties are awesome, it adds probability. This is why Soccer is the second best sport ever, and you are VERY wrong. Good day sir!

  • Gideon
    July 31, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    The ties are the most outrageous thing ever… You watch a 90 minute game that ends in a tie and they shoot penalty kicks to decide the game… Good thing Germany had a goal or the 2014 World Cup Champion would have been decided by penalty kicks… WTF is that?!

  • Dave
    July 12, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    This article is a fucking piece of shit…..fucking asshole

    • marco
      July 16, 2014 at 10:11 am

      The truth may hurt a bit, but most of this hits the mark. 0-0 ties are a waste of time and money. Players dive for penalties as well, so that is accurate. Players who enjoy each other’s company too much also happens in soccer (foodtbaw), everyone diving on a goal scorer is disconcerting for hero-sexual people who have to look elsewhere.

  • edward
    July 10, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    This is the gayest thing I have ever read in my entire life. Everyone seems to forget the main aspects of a sport. The competition and the fun. Soccer is actually pretty hard especially when ur playing against people who actually know how to play. I am a wrestler and for me thats the hardest sport of all and probably boxing. Ive played football, basketball, and soccer. Football is fun and I like it. basketball is gay and was made up by people who cant play soccer, and is easier, you just need to be tall and black, thats it. I dint even break a sweat in baseball, shouldnt even exist as a sport. Soccer, now thats my second sport. You need be constantly moving, sprinting, passing, and when shooting, accuracy. Nothing is harder than getting past defenders and shooting the ball, hoping the goalie wont get it.

    • PatrioticMarine
      August 27, 2014 at 1:53 pm

      “You just need to be tall and black, that’s it.” Awesome racist comment, are you a lifelong member of the KKK or some other extremely racist organization? I don’t like basketball either, but this statement is abhorrent and classless.

      • Joey G
        August 27, 2014 at 2:21 pm

        Ummmm… can you explain what is “racist” about it?

        • PatrioticMarine
          August 28, 2014 at 12:27 pm

          Sure thing. My apologies if I didn’t clarify that previously or communicate it effectively. By stating that one “just need” to be tall and black and “that’s it” indicates that all tall, black individuals (the poster didn’t distinguish between male or female) are automatically skilled at basketball, which is not a true statement for there are many who aren’t tall and who are not black who are skilled at basketball and those who do fit the description (again, tall and black) who are not skilled at basketball.

          The fact that the OP is singling out a specific race and automatically attributing a skill to them is what seems racist in nature. It would be equivalent to another individual making the statement that “All you need to do is be Asian and have glasses in order to be good at mathematics,” which is also another false and seemingly racist statement as well as an absolute statement.

          Again, the problem with the statement is that it’s an absolute (the definition of which is that the staement is 100% true with no exceptions) and specifically points to one ethnicity with having a certain skill innately, which is false. For example, if I were to say “An individual just needs to be white and have strong legs to play soccer,” this in itself is a false statement because it requires much more than this simple physical attribute of having “strong legs.” Also, being good at soccer is not an exclusive ability of “white” individuals, nor do they all innately have this ability.

          An argument could perhaps be made that statistically, for example, stating a large volume of “black” individuals are good at basketball based (depending upon how “large is defined of course), or perhaps un data that a majority % of professional basketball players who are “black.” The OP could also cite data pointed to the “tall” physical attributes of these individuals (again, depending upon how “tall” is defined). However, the OP does not do this and simply makes a blanket statement that an individual “just need” to be black and tall, which again is an absolute statement and not 100% true with no exceptions and by pointing out a specific ethnicity, makes the statement seem racist, much like the example I gave above, or another statement of similar effect in regards to another ethnicity (Hispanics, etc.).

          Hopefully this clears things up a bit, if you would like to discuss further I’ll be happy to continue as we’re all mature adults here and have confidence we can communicate in a calm, civilized manner. Thank you.

    July 9, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    So, I think the consensus is that Americans don’t hate soccer (football) per se, but hate the idiotic rules that accompany the game. It seems that many soccer advocates have reservations about certain rules such as ties, tie breaking kicks, field size, “flopping” etc. as well. Maybe the sport should look at updating some of it’s rules so it would be even more appealing to it’s supporters and some of it’s detractors. Although I have a feeling that if the game was more “Americanized” in it’s rules and competitiveness, then other countries would lose interest in the game and Americans would dominate like every other thing that it competes in….

  • OhMy
    June 26, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    I’ve never read an article more ridiculous and more unsubstantiated! :’D

  • June 22, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    US’s first World Cup game this year (against Ghana) drew more than 11 million viewers on ESPN – the highest-rated men’s soccer match ever shown on the ESPN network.

    So there’s that.

    • July 8, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Super Bowl draws over 110 million viewers, so there’s THAT!!!!

      • July 13, 2014 at 6:07 pm

        pretty much the exact same as the world cup dumb ass maybe even more

      • Gideon
        July 31, 2014 at 12:19 pm

        I really can’t get the fuss about the Hype on Soccer… A vast field of green where players kick the Ball around and nothing actually happens… I get sleepy when I watch Soccer… I feel the riots of the fans, watching a game for 90 minutes shouting all the time and they lost, the frustration mounts to the riots… And I feel why teams celebrate on every goal, they already feel they won the game even if it’s not decided yet, and then the other team scores and they too celebrate too much and in the end both team end in Penalty Kicks… WTF is that!?!

      • kitty13
        September 29, 2014 at 2:24 am

        The UEFA Champions League finale draws around 400 million viewers every year, so there’s THAT!!!

  • Joe
    June 19, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Lol this list is awesome. I love Americans. You only like sports that you are good at, which are also the sports that only you guys play.

    You can erase this list and keep #11 only. The rest is just for laughs, good job.

    • drizzygadget
      June 21, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      We’re good at every sport we play, have you seen the Olympics in the past 100 years?

      • mark
        October 9, 2019 at 8:52 am

        Except say, soccer, rugby, cricket. 350 million people and you lose to fiji at rugby. The OP is correct you are rubbish at any sport you didn’t invent or bastardise.

    • Bryce
      July 8, 2014 at 11:21 pm

      I don’t understand how anyone can hate on soccer, when it’s called the Worlds game.

  • Matt
    June 17, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    oh wow you have an opinion, thats cool. But to say that the most popular sport in the world shouldnt be a sport makes you sound like you have autism. I watch most american sports religiously and soccer the most. And btw watch a basketball game and tell me no one dives. But its your opinion and any true fan of soccer will most likely laugh their ass off to this ignorant article. Its close-minded people like you who make america look like a piece of shit.

    • Steve
      June 18, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      Comparing someone’s opinion that you do not agree with to autism only makes you sound like an ignorant American. Liking soccer, despite the overwhelming majority in America who don’t, doesn’t make you an open-minded American. The Euro-weenies aren’t sitting in a cafe, smoking a cigarette and saying, “This guy is so progressive because he likes soccer.”

      He also stated that the dives in NBA games make it almost unwatchable. So whatever point you were trying to make there is invalid. Learn to read. It’s American’s who can’t read an entire article consisting of only ten points that make America “look like a piece of shit.”

  • June 15, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Check out the US TV ratings for the opening day world cup match (over 9 million total: over 4 million English language broadcast) . Stanley Cup Finals average about 4.6 million max. Better reconsider this post.

    Times is a-changin’, buddy. Wake up and smell the coffee (or cafe’ con leche).

    • CJ
      June 25, 2014 at 3:19 pm

      Now divide the soccer number by 4 since there will be and additional 3 Stanley Cups until the next World Cup.
      Also, it is summer and there’s nothing else to watch. I guarantee you that if there were preseason football games on at the same time you’d be lucky to break 1 million soccer viewers in the US.

  • Anthony
    June 15, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    this is hilarious. Soccer is most defiantly a sport. Almost none of your clams are legitimate, not even the one about baseball. Baseball is a great sport because every player gets there chance to shine. (Go Yankees.) Soccer is not popular in the us because the only soccer that really matters is the European circuit. if they built soccer stadiums here for that league of soccer and our american team actually got good at the game then soccer would catch on. but they will never do it so it wont ever happen. I have played soccer as a kid and it is tough. It takes control, discipline, endurance and accuracy and its a whole lot of fun I can see why Europeans like it. however I hate ties so that may be the only thing your right about. I am an American and have nothing but respect for the SPORT of Soccer while I still love my American Sports. build a stadium where Manchester United can play for Americans right here at home and watch soccer’s popularity grow.

  • June 14, 2014 at 2:59 am

    I am American and I LOVE LOVE the World Cup. There’s nothing like it in the world. It is so amazing. NFL isn’t very popular in other countries so we only play against other US teams, but the World Cup is like WOW! Footballers are competing with teams from other parts of the world, you cannot say that about any other sport, other than the Olympics. And the skills of the players are amazing, they do things that you don’t see in American football, These men jump in the air and kick the ball or use their heads, or do back flips. And these men are tough, they get kick in the head and in other parts of the body and still go on. And oh my god to run for a REALLY long time is AMAZING. And the players are built like Greek statue and the patriotism during the World Cup is off the roof, if you think Americans have pride during the NFL you are wrong it’s nothing like during the World Cup, if you been to the World cup over seas, as American you feel ashamed that people in the US don’t have so much pride in their country during a sport of event.

    There are a lot Americans who really love European Football, and it catching on, if it wasn’t catching on here we wouldn’t have US team in the World Cup. Yes, it’s true that US Football team sucks, but the reason why they suck is, they get scared or something and fail. But European Football is amazing sport.

    I think why some Americans don’t like it, because European Football been around since the ancient times, it’s massively popular all over the world, you cannot say that about American football. European Football is the original Football. And just to throw wretch in this conversation. American Football comes from Rugby, so it is European style game that is very popular with Americans which America has change. In the early stages of American Football is was no different than Rugby.

    Yes, some Americans hate European Football, but there are many that like it than anyone else who likes it. .

  • Carlos
    June 11, 2014 at 5:21 am

    Soccer is so fake and stupid that people dont even say the name of the sport well is not football is soccer boring shit nd gay ass niggas huging eachother nd kissing everything they score -______

    • July 13, 2014 at 6:15 pm

      you are so god damn retarded it’s unbelievable

    • nerera
      August 9, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      No more fake than calling it the World Series when you just play amongst each other. You can’t even win a world title of “America’s Game” when you play a real world championship against other countries (Japan, Taiwan, teams from Central America, etc, etc)

    • kkk
      January 31, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      k first off horrible absolutely horrible grammar. second off maybe tou should keep your opinions to urself one day that might not be too good for you when you see america is one of the biggest soccer countries of the world

  • manny
    May 21, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    What a dumbass. These reason and crap on that article sounds like an annoying 5th grader who thinks he knows sports. Baseball talking shit on soccer? Hilarious. Anyone can throw and catch. Soccer is so muvh more conplex if this bum writer tried to play it he would nor even put the idiotic things on this article. At least its just america who thinks of soccer like this. The rest of the world is just laughing at your “facts” (opinions) . Id score your sports iq at a 10

    • May 21, 2014 at 11:56 pm

      And we’re laughing right back at the third world countries who play soccer.

      • Scott Maxwell
        June 20, 2014 at 3:29 pm

        “And we’re laughing right back at the third world countries who play soccer.”

        What an astounding superiority complex you have! “We’re number one!” In your OWN minds. Never mind your young people consistently rank under European youth in international math and science tests. Never mind you have a government system that allows a minority group to completely shut down the government, sending hundreds of thousands of workers home without pay simply for perceived political advantage. Never mind that many of your school children and even adults can’t even point out the damn pacific ocean on a map, “your number one!”

        The biggest, most pathetic fool is one who proudly crows about how great he is and thinks how everything revolves around him, how everybody loves him and wants to be like him while everybody else in fact is unimpressed by him and many of them think he’s an idiot.

        I’m not even going to waste time refuting your crap. You can keep your stupid ideas about how to get Americans to like soccer. Is your hubris so great that you actually think the rest of the world cares if you like it or not, and that the rules should change just so Americans will become interested? Newsflash, pal: the world at large doesn’t give a damn if Americans at large like soccer or not. The world at large wouldn’t give a damn if NOBODY in America liked soccer. It’s the number one sport in the world, the world likes it and DOES NOT NEED AMERICA TO LIKE IT. So you just stay in your bubble, cling to your little fantasy of how the rest of the world revolves around America, piss off and leave us in the rest of the world to our beautiful game. You AREN’T MISSED.

        • CJ
          June 25, 2014 at 3:23 pm

          Cool…enjoy not being number one!

        • June 25, 2014 at 4:41 pm

          Of course you dont mind Americans not liking soccer. If they did, the US would dominate the world at that too.

        • kkk
          January 31, 2016 at 7:27 pm

          even though its true i don’t wanna admit it

  • Alphie
    May 4, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    Soccer is brutal. It should not be recognized as legitimate. Any so called “sport” that has a pinnacle like the ‘World Cup’ that can be decided on “kicks” is pathetic. Why would anyone bother playing through all the nonsense. Simply line up your players and have then take turns firing away at the keeper and then hand over the trophy. Soccer is absolutely pathetic and reflects a sad state of affairs as so many morons in the world support it. In addition, it makes watching paint dry exponentially more exciting and if the soccer fans were honest, and I mean HONEST, they would admit that the diving and faking simply exclude soccer as a legitimate sport. It may be a time wasting closely followed spectacle but it is a complete waste of time and those who support it should be embarrassed.

    • July 13, 2014 at 6:20 pm

      try playing it there tough guy PS don’t break anything pussy

      • lionel messi ronaldo neymar pele
        May 18, 2017 at 12:22 pm


    • kkk
      January 31, 2016 at 7:24 pm

      ok maybe watching it isn’t funn for you but, soccer is so much fun to play. this is why as you say “morons” like it because it is fun to play. also it is fun to watch them sometimes do these skills that i bet you couldn’t do until U got in SHAPE!

      • Sandnigger
        August 25, 2016 at 2:32 am

        What? What kind of language is that? I can’t comprehend,

        • lionel messi ronaldo neymar pele
          May 18, 2017 at 12:23 pm

          you meany head! ;D

  • Oscar
    April 30, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    You are stupid soccer is the most famous sport in the world soccer is more famous then what americans call football

  • Bordel
    April 29, 2014 at 4:50 am

    In no way is baseball better than soccer. To call the players out as not being athletes you need to reconsider something, these guys are heavily conditioned to run and play for 45 minutes nonstop twice during a match. That’s why they aren’t huge or fat. Different sports call for different physiques. Any sport where you can drink a beer and smoke a cigarette while a game is going on and still play isn’t a sport, I’m talking about baseball. Baseball is a game, not a sport, much like golf. Sure the ball is coming at 90mph but usually it’s coming right at your bat because the pitcher is trying to strike you out. You have designated hitters in baseball who basically are too fat to run the bases so they just go to the plate, hit a ball and go back to the dugout for a hotdog. You say it’s easy but it takes skill to make correct passes and take shots on goal. You can’t use your hands in soccer, something that we as humans are so used to utilizing. Having to direct things with your feet instead of your hands is tough. If you’ve never played soccer you can’t just say it’s easy because you watch skilled South American and European players do amazing things most can only do with their hands. Dribbling a ball with your feet past a defender is a lot harder than doing the same with your hands in basketball. The only things I agree with on this list are the ties which I hate as well, the embarrassing flopping culture that is rampant, and the need for more countries in the world to be successful such as the African countries. I think the reason we as Americans are so sour toward soccer is because it’s the one sport we can’t seem to dominate and it secretly frustrates the hell out of us. There’s no one to really root for because we usually expect our teams to lose to the powerhouses of the world. If the US (men) ever won the World Cup I think soccer would finally gain popularity. People like winning.

    • kkk
      January 31, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      I completely agree with you. you don’t see track players 200-300 lbs so this “guy” or “author” or whoever he is, your point just deminshed

      • March 9, 2016 at 12:50 pm


  • Joey G
    April 28, 2014 at 5:28 pm

    If soccer is going to catch on here, we need to replace soccer moms with soccer hooligans.

  • Tim
    April 28, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    Normally you’re funny, but some of these were really forced

    • April 28, 2014 at 5:04 pm

      Like I said, this is a reblog. I didn’t author this one, the stooge we bought this site off of did. I was just in the mood to reblog it because I saw soccer on TV last night. And I really, really hate soccer culture.

      • Truth Be Told
        May 4, 2014 at 11:50 am

        So wait, not only did you not write this garbage article, but you didn’t even create this website? And yet, you call the previous owner of this website a “stooge”? I’d say he’s the smart one here, not only did he sell a garbage website (that anyone with 20 minutes to spare could create) to a complete moron, he made a profit from it… I’d say the only stooge here is you… We can tell you’re 100% american, with the sheer amount of laziness, idiocy and ignorance you’ve demonstrated, you couldn’t be anything else…

      • drew p. weiner
        November 28, 2016 at 9:50 pm

        your retarded

      • Emmett Burgos
        August 17, 2017 at 3:45 pm

        Why do you hate soccer culture. Soccer has the best fan bases in all of sports. Look up the Yellow Wall.

  • Curious
    April 28, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    All you need to know about soccer:

Comment on this Post


Who Did A Better Job Of Cheating: Jason Kidd or Mike Tomlin?
Cleveland Browns Backup QB Is Best Kept Freak Show In NFL
Priceless Fan Reactions to Alabama-Auburn Game As BCS Fails Again In It’s Final Season