Bone Ride

15 Worst Field Trips Mass Kids Went On Back In The Day

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Some people say that there was no such thing as a bad field trip back in the day. You got to get out of class, be naughty, and talk to your friends. And if you were lucky you stopped at McDonald’s on the way home. I’m pretty sure Mickey D’s is out of the question now-a-days because some dooshnozzle parent would complain about all the trans fat. But some field trips were better than others, and might’ve even brought you to the point where you said, “I wish I was in school.” Here are the Top 15 Field Trips for Massachusetts Kids Growing up Back In The Day.

15. Lexington and Concord

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It’s funny as you grow older you start to develop an appreciation for history. I, like many of friends despised history back in the day. It was a bunch of dead people wearing weird clothing and speaking a weird form of English. Couldn’t care less. As a result the hour-long trip to Lexington and Concord sucked.

When I go there now it gives me chills thinking about the balls it took to be a patriot and stand there in a field telling the King of England to go fuck himself. But back in the 90’s it was just a field, a weirdo pretending to be a patriot, and a stupid gift shop.

 

14. Freedom Trail

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Generally any field trips that didn’t involve running around sucked. And when you’re a 10 year old kid in Boston you’re basically on lockdown from Mrs. Caplan. Even today I have to admit that I don’t get any enjoyment out of the Freedom Trail. Granted it’s a cheap date, but all you really do is look at a church, a graveyard, a couple plaques in the ground, and the place where Paul Revere took dumps. Cool.

 

 

13. Upper Blackstone Water Treatment Plant

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I shit you not (no pun intended) many a Worcester County child has been to the water treatment plant in Millbury. Also known as the place where your dumps end up. The only thing I got out of the trip I took there was thinking to myself, “I better work hard in school, or else I’m gonna have to work at the dump conversion factory.”

 

 

12. New England Science Center

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You might call it the Ecotarium, but it will always be the New England Science Center to me. The only thing I looked forward to at this place was the train ride to nowhere. Asides from that it’s just a bunch of wildlife sleeping. They’re always sleeping.

Of course the big draw was the now deceased polar bear, but to me it’s not worth watching wildlife if they’re not killing other wildlife. That poor polar bear had the most boring life of any polar bear on earth. Imagine spending your entire existence next to North High School. Kill me now.

 

11. Higgins Armory

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Some people loved this place before it closed. I am not one of those people. It’s exactly what it sounds like – a museum full of armory. That’s it. Just a bunch of scrap metal that people wore to protect themselves from Duke of France. Ironically, from the waist down back then they dressed exactly like women do in 2015.

 

 

10. Audobahn Society

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When you went to a welfare school like I did, you didn’t get to go to the Museum of Science in Boston. That was for Shrewsbury kids. Instead you took a 15 minute bus ride down to Massasoit Road for some economical fun at the Audobahn Society’s Brood Meadow Brook Conservation Center.

It fancies itself a place where you can go and see wildlife. But let’s be real. How much wildlife can possibly exist lodged between Grafton Hill and Granite Street? If you were REALLY lucky you saw a deer. But more often than not you walked across a footbridge while your hippie guide showed you all the different kinds of algae. And if you came during the right season you got to look at butterflies. Cool.

 

9. Peabody-Essex Museum

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This was a trip that was really more for Eastern Mass kids, but lots of Central Mass kids get dragged here too because it’s one of the oldest museums in the country. It’s huge and chalk-filled with tons of artifacts, manuscripts, culture, architecture, and gardens. The only reason you would ever go to this place is if your teacher was an asshole. It fulfills their hippie wet dreams and so they think the kids like it too. Kill me now.

 

 

8. Plymouth Plantation

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I think the part of history that appealed to me the least was the Pilgrims. What was to like? They moved here because the English weren’t prude enough for them. They were miserable most of the time because they didn’t have heating systems, there was no Market Basket, and no Wifi. You go in these huts and see what their living conditions were like, and the whole time you’re thinking, “People left England for this?” Then if you were really lucky they went and brought you down to Plymouth Rock. In your mind it’s this bad ass boulder. Then you get there and it’s just a stupid rock.

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7. Willard House and Clock Museum

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Why?? Why would ANY teacher ever put their kids through this?? Because it’s in Grafton and you didn’t wanna spend money going to a real museum? Seriously though, this is a museum filled with clocks. And while you’re there someone dressed a colonial lectures you about the evolution of clocks and watches. Field trips happen to this place in real life.

 

 

6. Leominster Plastics Museum

Leominster is called the “comb” city because of all it’s plastic history, which largely explains Mayor Dean Mazzarella’s haircut:

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But just to show you how terribly boring this now closed museum is, here’s an excerpt from their website: The resident “Plastorian” at the Center is full of interesting plastic facts. He tells us that John Wesley Hyatt, “grandfather of the plastics industry” and inventor of the celluloid billiard ball, was on the short list to have a rest stop named for him on the New Jersey Turnpike, alas, then repeatedly passed over for the honor.

Hey kids, did you wanna hear the story about the guy who invented the celluloid billiard ball and almost got a rest top named after him on the New Jersey Turnpike, but was passed over for the guy who invented the aluminum pole? Well, too bad, you’re gonna hear all about it anyway!!

5. Brown Bag Concerts at Mechanics Hall

It was always the music teachers who tried to drag you to these things. Because let’s be honest – they ran out of stuff to teach you in music class. The crazy kids and the poor kids weren’t allowed on these trips though because they’d embarrass the school. That and you had to pack your own lunch, which created an awkward situation for the free lunch patrol. As you can imagine, the Tuesday afternoon crowd at Mechanics Hall is a real wine and cheese bunch of people who would lose their freaking minds if Friendly House took a field trip down there.

I’m convinced that no one likes the type of jazz of they jam down your throat at these things either. Swing music is actually fun, but old people now-a-days insist on listening to that Kenny G crap from the video above. Thanks for nothing Wynton Marsalis. At least kids today have cell phones so they can just go on Twitter or look at porn if they get dragged to one of these shows. Back in the 90’s I used to think of cool ways I could kill myself before I inevitably fell asleep.

 

4. Big E

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Apparently I’m one of the few that went to this God forsaken cesspool of mop salesman and fried dough stands. Those who follow this blog know about the controversy we created when we had the audacity to point out what a gigantic waste of time this terrible, Godless, rip-off of dump in West Springfield can be. It provided absolutely no educational value whatsoever, and I’m pretty sure the only reason we went there is because Mr. Eddy wanted to take his wife on a cheap date to the tractor pull followed by a romantic standing dinner at the pickle barrel.

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3. Lowell Mills/American Textile Museum

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Could you possibly have a more boring history to showcase in your town than the heathen enclave of Lowell has? “Look kids, this is where underpaid women took slave-picked cotton, put it into looms, and made shirtwaists. And none of this could’ve happened if it weren’t for Eli Whitney and his interchangeable parts!!” It’s literally just a factory where people who hated their jobs used to go to work every day.

 

 

2. Worcester Art Museum

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There is NOTHING more boring to kids than art. Literally nothing. All I could think of is over-weight naked women holding fruit. Even today I think most art sucks. One of the greatest lines ever from The Office is when Roy, Pam’s meathead ex-fiance, said this while trying to impress her:

There is NOTHING more boring to kids than art. Literally nothing. All I could think of is over-weight naked women holding fruit. Even today I think most art sucks. One of the greatest lines ever from The Office is when Roy, Pam’s meathead ex-fiance, said this while trying to impress her:

1. Old Sturbridge Village

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If you grew up in Worcester or Hampden County and you haven’t been to Old Sturbridge Village, then you were probably one of the BD kids they stuck in the basement. I don’t think it’s possible not to get dragged to this place at least once while growing up. It’s the same thing as Plymouth Plantations, except more boring. Because ultimately Plymouth has historical value. Sturbridge does not. It’s a recreation of colonial life in the early 1800’s. Also known as the time period between the Revolution and the Civil War when your social studies teacher rambled on about Henry Clay. There was one reason, and one reason alone that made the OSV field trip salvageable – the gift shop rock candy. Literally, that’s all anyone remembers about this terrible, terrible place.

What did we miss? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. And should we do a follow up blog on the BEST field trips?

 

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29 Comment(s)
  • Sara
    January 27, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    In the incredibly sad state that our country is…every child should visit OSV. They teach you something about our country, our past, our people. We have become a pathetic society who needs everything NOW, who relies on handouts and instant gratification. Thank goodness for OSV – it has worth and the ability to teach the young people of today SOMETHING about respect, honor and our country.

  • Sarah
    August 30, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    I dont know what your talking about I learnt a lot from my field trip and yea the art museums were kinda boring but I understand why they brought us. Its historic, informational, and it helps for a well rounded culture. And OSV they teach a lot about the way things were. Idk what kind of field trips you wanted to go on in school but you obviously are not intellectual enough to understand why they took you on some of these or you just werent paying attention in class as to why you were going on these. The only one I question was why you went to the Big E. But I would have loved that cause personally I love the Big E. Its fun and the crafts are fun and oh I also compete in the hunter jumping competition….thats horseback riding if you didnt know.

  • John Black
    May 30, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    This is obviously a list created by some jackass who counts down the days to the Summer Nationals so he can wave a Confederate flag and cheer on the burnouts while patting himself on the back for being a good ol’ Tea Bagger. History is hugely important, even more so for kids so that they don’t make the asinine mistakes that we elders have made over the years.

    This list is a disgrace, you need to try a lot harder if you have any hope of being relevant….

  • Taryn
    May 29, 2015 at 11:10 pm

    The worst part about the OSV trip (and because of changing school systems when we moved, I had to do it two years in a row) was when you got into the groups to experience 1830’s life… and you ended up in school in the 1830s. So, basically, you took a long as bus ride to the dustiest museum on earth, always on a hot nearly-summer day, then they made you put on extra layers of clothes and… do the exact same thing you’d left. I’m sorry, even the chalk slate couldn’t make up for that.

    But the worst school trip I can remember was walking from school to the Worcester Common, taking two photos each, then walking back. Ah, that year at Belmont St. School was a winner.

  • oneopinion
    hanginpossum
    May 29, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    The only cool exhibit at OSV was the blacksmith. I was mesmerized by the fire and how sparks flew everywhere when he hammered the red hot iron into a nail or some other crude merchandise for the gift shop. The bus ride was the best part of the day.

  • Shannon Boudreau
    May 29, 2015 at 10:04 am

    Totally agree with some of these, and would like to add a personal experience to the list. Fourth grade, Canterbury St School, over 20 yrs ago. For some educational reason, we had a field trip to the Circus at the Centrum. We, as kids, were pretty excited. Most of us had never been to the Centrum before, much less the Ringling Bros Circus. One particular mother, however, was a hard-core animal rights activist and convinced her son that cicuses were evil. The kid got up in front of the class the day before the trip and “gave a report” about the mistreatment of animals. On field trip day, this mother and a group of other protesters were picketing the Centrum, shouting at the kids going in, waving giant pictures of abused elephants…. a real guilt trip for a ten year old. Half the kids in the school didn’t even want to go in the building and started crying.

  • Wheelwright
    May 29, 2015 at 8:04 am

    The 1974 Quaboag Regional High School Senior Class went to some stupid dude ranch in Connecticut…

    Did you know Connecticut had a fucking “Dude” ranch? They had two horses, a pool, a river and two canoes. We poked a hole in one of the canoes. Back then we could buy alcohol at 18. I was 18. Figure the rest out.

  • Crys814
    May 28, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    These are fancy! We Grafton kids went to the post office. 😉

  • Maggie the Cat
    May 28, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    I loved all my field trips. I remember especially the trip to Lowell. When they turned on one of the old production lines (I guess you’d call it), the noise was deafening. I made up my mind right then to never work in a place like that, which meant I had to go to college. That worked. I don’t know how those people could stand it, day after day.

  • Phineas
    May 28, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    I’ll never forget brilliant kids in the SHRHS Class of 1986 who got caught smoking pot in the Old Sturbridge Village bathrooms.

    We also went to Riverside Park, before the pot smoking incident, of course.

  • TurtleBoySpurts
    May 28, 2015 at 11:38 am

    Yawn. Nobody’s surprised that TB didn’t find any of these educational opportunities interesting. It’s clear he didn’t find his English classes any more engaging. He’s clearly the product of an incurious mind.

    • Columbuspark
      May 28, 2015 at 10:59 pm

      Or his history classes. “colonial life in the early 1800’s.” ?

      • Finnish Goalie
        May 30, 2015 at 10:54 am

        I did laugh at that myself.

    • TurtleBoySpurts
      May 29, 2015 at 11:02 am

      Aww… You took down my reply? TB is still the consummate coward. Typical bully.

      • RSoxGuy
        May 29, 2015 at 3:25 pm

        Coward? Funny, it seems you are the one who trolls this site daily with your name calling, insults, taunts and racism all from behind a weak attempt at trolling the TB name.

        Speaking of cowards… Where is your girl Sonya Conner? Separated herself from the crowd with her own lawyer? Odd isnt that what you just attacked some private citizen with in your recent hate and lie filled blob (Cowardice and lies all in one blob, typical Cow… I mean Carlo)? Never stepped foot in the street? I know they didnt have YouTube back in the 30s when you were a kid but its there for all to see. Just another example of the LIEs Carlo spreads in order to feel relevant from lily white Sutton.

        Ohh and have you paid you debt to TB yet Carlo? Remember your macho bet you made with Mitt Romney’s money that you would win #1 blogger in WoMag? Whats that? You dont have the balls to bet your own money? Nobody is surprised. Ohh what? You didnt even come in 2nd place? WOW. How embarrassing.

        Be a manly man and ask your wife if its ok for you to write a check to TB for the bet you lost. Ohh right, your wife only lets you do manly things like run the coffee machine and only COWARDS bet others people money and then run and hide when they lose. Troll on coward, troll on.

        • TurtleBoySpurts
          May 29, 2015 at 4:49 pm

          I’d say you clearly have Carlo Derangement Syndrome, dude. I’m going to have to try to meet this Baldino guy one of these days and shake his hand, because he sure is way up inside your confused little head. All I can figure is he must have given you a failing grade somewhere along the way, because your anger is way beyond rational. Keep it up though, because you’ve become a guaranteed belly laugh every time you imagine I’m Carlo. I’m sure he is, too, as are most of the rest of the folks here, though they’d never dare tell a Turtlebro he’s a complete moron, even though it’s true.

      • Finnish Goalie
        May 30, 2015 at 10:52 am

        You have many a comment. Do tell, what was taken down?

  • Thorne
    May 28, 2015 at 11:23 am

    The Higgins Armory Museum? That was one of the coolest things about going to Worcester back in the day. I’m puzzled as to why it was included due to the popularity of medieval video games, movies and shows. Some of the museum pieces were reproductions but others were actually worn into battle in the past. That doesn’t interest people? I went with the school, I went with the Scouts and I went with my friends over the years. I’d go again, given the chance. Seriously, this entry’s really out of place on the list and it ought to be removed.

    Then again, up above the article mentions that these are the top 15 Best Field Trips so maybe I’m complaining about nothing?

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    May 28, 2015 at 10:19 am

    I actually never experienced OSV. But, for the most part, I also went to some of the shittier schools in Worcester. I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t hit more of the places on the list; having only been to the science center, Higgins Armory, the Big E, Lowell, and the art museum. And I actually enjoyed most of those (the Big E being ridiculous and crowded and the art museum being simply boring as fuck). But I was also the kid that watched the History Channel – before it became the Pawn Shop and Aliens Network.

    I distinctly remember going to the Stoneham Zoo and Roger Williams Park Zoo for field trips. Both of them were basically bigger versions of the science center, without the astronaut ice cream.

    But probably the most uncomfortable field trip was… I want to say it was when I was in seventh grade. They took us to a production of The Nutcracker. You’d think that was be a huge snoozefest, but it was a youth production so the girl playing the lead wasn’t much older than us. And she was a total junior smokeshow in a leotard and a see-through nightgown. So imagine a couple dozen 13 year old boys sitting around half bored with boners, not wanting to admit that they all had a boner, watching this little hottie with a perfect ass doing pirouettes.

  • Jamie
    May 28, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Peabody/Essex Muesam should have been #1. Growing up in my early years we would always dread the yearly field trips here!

  • xayxel
    May 28, 2015 at 9:10 am

    Higgin’s Armory? I had to say something: I didn’t want to. But come on; could most people even build any of that stuff? Do you even understand the history behind those suits? Yea, it’s true that places like the textile museum are ‘boring’. And yet, maybe half of these places are boring to some kids or disgruntled author’s like yourself because i-phones have pretty much taken wrecked their attention spans and reduced their IQ’s so they can hardly appreciate physical reality/skill around them. It’s ridiculous that modern generations that can contribute virtually nothing good to society besides industries that revolve around shitty self absorbed entertainment are deluded enough to look down on the artistic or civil engineering masterpieces of the past.

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 28, 2015 at 9:38 am

      One of the highlights were the demonstrations of how the weapons and armor were used and how to put a suit of in on and take it off.

      Getting to wear the stuff or hold the weapons were awesome. There were of course always one or two dicks who couldn’t have cared less, but what are you going to do?

  • Jen
    May 28, 2015 at 7:43 am

    Best field trip hands down was my 6th grade field trip to whalom park!

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 28, 2015 at 8:14 am

      The Octopus.

    • Clive Mc'turtle
      May 28, 2015 at 8:19 am

      Yes, Yes and Yes

    • Ser Davos Seaworth
      June 1, 2015 at 5:29 am

      For a whale of a time! Fucking condos have raped my childhood hard.

  • Finnish Goalie
    May 28, 2015 at 6:51 am

    I have to disagree on Higgins Armory. I loved going there, and did multiple times through the years.

    But, to each his own. It’s too bad they couldn’t have kept it open. Maybe cash in on the popularity of Game of Thrones in some way.

    Overall, I got a few laughs and smiles thinking of some of these places from back in the day.

    On your best spots though, you have to do Southwicks. Day at the zoo was always cool. That place has come a long way. I remember some of the old pens and cages the animals were in, terrible. Was like Alcatraz, and some of them probably couldn’t have held back some of the creatures if they got PO’ed enough.

  • Frogshit
    May 28, 2015 at 5:54 am

    Sorry Turtle… I’m 53 years old, grew up in the area, and still enjoy a day at Old Sturbridge Village. Now let’s get this straight. I’m not a tree-huggin’, earth lovin’, bird kissin’, hippy type or nuthin’ like that. I just seem to enjoy the simplicity of the joint.

    • Wtf
      May 28, 2015 at 6:27 am

      agreed!

      Also – any old ones like me remember the haunted house at the Worcester science center? Burned down in the late 70s I think. At least I got in a field trip or 2 while it was still there.

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