This Day In Turtleboy

7 Fuckpumps From Maine Beat Teenage Girl, Urinate On Her And Pose With Her Body For Facebook Picture


Take a long, hard look at these 7 pathetic degenerates who were involved in beating up a 17 year old girl, mocking, laughing and posing over her body for a Facebook photo-op after one of them urinated on her.


Yes. One of them peed on her and then they put it on Facebook. Tia (the victim) is understandably traumtized but somehow still has enough decency to worry that the people who did this are going to get in trouble for it. Personally, I’d be gunning for these losers having the book thrown at them (preferably full force, directly at their faces in hopes of knocking a few teeth out.)

None of these grundle-huffers have a shred of moral decency. Unfortunately for them, I don’t have a shred of respect for back country ditchpigs and since the internet is forever they’re all about to have a very, very bad day. Good luck getting a job after prospective employers Google your name and find out you’re a walking diaper pail.

The two girls in the foreground of this photo are Kayla Buchanan and Sigilia Pinkham. They thought it was cool to kick the crap out of an underage girl and then snap a picture of their achievements. Sigilia has gone on a social media hiatus like the spineless twit that she is. That doesn’t mean we don’t have lots and lots of photos of her ugly mug to pass around though because at Turtleboy we always find you.

Here are a few:

And here’s Kayla Buchanan:


It’s easy to act like a couple of badasses when you beat someone up in a 2 on 1 throwdown. Truthfully, I don’t expect anything less from a couple of redneck shitpumps who were probably conceived to the Deliverance soundtrack after one too many PBR’s. I’m sure their parents are bursting with pride right now. Gold star, ladies.

People have tried to justify the situation saying that the knob-squad rejects in the background weren’t involved in beating up the girl who’s laying face-down in the dirt. But you know what else they didn’t do? Stop it from happening, help her up or call the fucking police. Instead they chose to pose for the camera with beaming grins on their faces like a bunch of douchebags. News flash, idiots: Doing nothing makes you JUST AS ACCOUNTABLE for what happened as the two slags who knocked her out. You don’t take a front row seat and then deny doing anything wrong. That’s not how that works.

The schlubs on the porch are as follows:

Tyler Michaels: He’s the donkey queef who lives at the house where this all went down. He’s a welder/country boy who can’t figure out that there’s a “d” at the end of the word “and”. He’s good at serving alcohol to underage girls like a creep and posting relationship advice on social media. Something tells me the only relationship he’s in is with his right hand and even then, he’s probably still friend-zoned. He’s a supreme cockcrumpet.

Anthony Witham: Anthony enjoys whining on Facebook like a pre-pubescent little girl and gets his skid-stained, Hello Kitty Underoos in a bunch because he does everything for everyone and then cries about being shit on. He should see how he feels when someone actually covers him in bodily fluids. He’s a sally-ass crybaby and I don’t even know how he has any friends.




Bryce Tompkins: Bryce suffers from terminal big truck/micro dick syndrome. He immediately tried to take credit for helping Tia like he’s a Carhart wearing, bootleg superhero. Bryce’s idea of “helping” is casually drinking a beer with his thumb up his ass and a dumb look on his face.

Bryce wasn’t “gunna” step into a girl fight and some of the stuff that was said was funny but he was an enormous help. Quick! Give him the key to the city for being such a model citizen.

Funny? Funny would be Bryce’s head stuffed into a bees nest while on fire and falling into a wood chipper simultaneously. He graciously offered up his shirt and only asked for it back because he had dinner plans. Nothing works up his appetite like a crying, bleeding girl covered in dirt and piss.

Brittany StPierre: Brittany also perched her ass up on the porch like a cockeyed parakeet and didn’t do a damn thing about what was going on. She likely didn’t want to mess up her hair or was too busy snap chatting Tia laying in the dirt. Her idea of helping was probably adding a nice little flower crown filter and some emojis. She perceives herself to be an angel and loves inspirational quotes. She’s 20 years old and gainfully employed at Dunks which is good because I think Dunkin Donuts still employs criminals.

Awww. Brit’s just a country blumpkin with a good heart, y’all. I wonder how much she lays awake at night thinking about her dismal future now. She’s just looking to make some Summer memories. You think she’ll add this photo to her 2017 scrapbook? #Blessed

I saved the best for last because this chick, Logan Lizotte, is a real piece of work. She also pulled her Facebook like a coward but not quick enough.

Here she is:


She messaged Tia to tell her just how sorry she was and that she wished she had been there when it happened:

And THEN she posted a disclaimer about how everyone is going to say they helped so they don’t get in trouble:

Hey Logan, why don’t YOU fuck way off. You weren’t there? You have her back?

Yeahhh the thing about that is, you were there. Nice try though. Way to flash a smile in that photo and then message the girl and act like you’re her best friend. She even thanked you! Unfortunately, now everyone knows you’re a lying sack of panty-pudding. Sucks to be you.

The bottom line is this:

I don’t give one single, solitary fuck if this girl ran her mouth and called them every name in the book. I don’t care if she swung first. She’s 17 years old and should have never been at this party to begin with. You know what kind of dudes let underage chicks drink at their house? The worst kind. Mistake #1.

Mistake #2 is being stupid enough to put your hands on a girl who’s underage. Those two moldy crotch critters should have enough sense to know that fighting a teenager is not only illegal but it makes you look utterly pathetic. Let me just run out and buy you a 4 foot trophy sculpted like a giant, floppy labia with “world’s biggest pussies” engraved on the side. Congrats!

Every single person in this photo is on the chopping block as far as I’m concerned. None of them did anything to stop what was happening. This is what you get when you breed a bunch of lowest common denominators and send them off into the world. They get boozed up, do some psychotic Lifetime movie shit and then act like they did nothing wrong.

A MINOR WAS BEATEN AND URINATED ON. You can’t come back from that. There’s no way to polish it up or justify what these pukes did (or didn’t) do.

What kind of extra chromosome having, revolting land ape pees on a battered minor while she’s face down on the ground?

You’ll have to tune in for part 2! Because we know exactly who did it as always, we take no prisoners.

Speaking of prisoners, I hope these hillbilly hog-stuffers are lawyering up and acquiring a new appreciation for Ramen noodles. Have fun urinating alongside the criminal all-stars in general population!




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37 Comment(s)
  • WereFucked
    July 10, 2020 at 2:42 am

    There are two elements destroying this country, blacks and females, and they are destroying it rapidly.
    And, with those nasty cunts it’s unfortunate they will get a hold of a unsuspecting nice and very hard working white guy, and these nasty fucking cunts will ruin him, that’s right ruin him the fucking cunt today are useless most of them couldn’t boil water even if you offered them 100 dollars.

  • Tim
    July 8, 2020 at 7:20 am

    Put them all together and you have one big pile of shit.

    • Show me a conservative and I'll show you a racist
      July 11, 2020 at 12:21 am

      “There are two elements destroying this country, blacks and females”

      Well isn’t that just the TB community in a nutshell…

  • Lil' Jimmy Norton
    July 7, 2020 at 7:28 pm

    Can someone please share video of the urination?

    Thank You

  • whatevuh
    July 7, 2020 at 7:08 pm

    what’s the nicest compliment you can give a girl from Maine? Nice tooth!

  • Stephen King
    July 7, 2020 at 4:58 pm

    You know what they say in Maine? Why go down the street when you can just go down the hall!

  • ninja turtleboy
    July 7, 2020 at 4:47 pm

    i don’t think they sell dumpsters big enough to fit all of this white trash into.

  • Whites can’t fight
    July 7, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    Yet another instance where white pussies can’t handle anyone one-on-one.

    • Agent Provocateur
      July 7, 2020 at 6:20 pm

      Go to Russia, find a single white guy by himself and tell him your opinion. I’m sure he’ll take real kindly to it.

      • Whites Can’t Fight
        July 8, 2020 at 4:53 pm

        Fucked up many a Russian, in South Africa and on their own turf. Happy to read that you can at least admit white Americans are complete pussies so better to go abroad and find a decent matchup. Simple bitch.

  • Guinea Geisha
    July 7, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    The only thing worse than getting a dick drawn on your face in sharpie when you’re passed out drunk? Finding out later it was traced.

  • Toilet paper thief
    July 7, 2020 at 12:52 pm

    Ah Maine! Where a virgin stays one ,by running faster than her father,uncles,and eye I’ll

  • Judge dread
    July 7, 2020 at 12:28 pm

    this is what you do when the PBR supply is <10.

    Fent up these faggots.

  • randiguy2006
    July 7, 2020 at 12:23 pm

    You only care because she’s white.

    • Chris
      July 8, 2020 at 10:54 pm

      Go cry about it

  • Ummm...
    July 7, 2020 at 12:22 pm

    No one else finds it weird that this dude spends his day writing stories about teenage girls?

    • bigdaddy
      Jeffery Epstein
      July 7, 2020 at 12:48 pm

      There are worse things you can do to an underage girl

    • randiguy2006
      July 7, 2020 at 1:12 pm

      Aiden missing molding young minds.

  • Victory Lane
    July 7, 2020 at 11:41 am

    We doing TB’s greatest hits? This is from a few years ago…
    turtleboysports dot com /7-dirtbags-were-involved-in-violently-beating-a-teenage-girl-urinating-on-her-and-posing-for-a-photo-over-her-body/

    • randiguy2006
      Its over.
      July 7, 2020 at 12:26 pm

      Word is Aiden’s gonna call it quits any day now.

      People are saying his wife finally told him he has to get a job

  • Bnguyen1114,
    July 7, 2020 at 11:30 am

    Dis bitch couldnt run for VP.
    She aint black and not Kamala.

  • Heywood Jablome
    July 7, 2020 at 11:30 am

    Proof that, generally speaking, Maine is the Alabama of New England.

  • Rags
    July 7, 2020 at 10:42 am

    The future of the Democrat party. I’ve never seen such terrible sentence structure and spelling in all my life. 2nd graders can spell better. No wonder our country is getting taken over by morons.

    • Sigh
      July 7, 2020 at 12:24 pm

      I mean…they all pose with Confederate flags, so entirely unsure of how this correlates with the Democratic Party? Isn’t the Republican Pres the one crying over NASCAR banning the confederate flag? Can you at least attempt at being original?

  • Norris
    July 7, 2020 at 10:37 am

    Isn’t this an old article? This isn’t the first one I’ve seen recently that looked like I’d seen it before.

  • Gus
    July 7, 2020 at 10:31 am

    Aren’t they all getting disability and still waiting on their section 8 vouchers now?
    We definitely need a Where are They Now? feature.

  • whores
    July 7, 2020 at 10:21 am

    reached out to every workplace I could find for each person I could get information on. Fuck these people. This is so sick and disgusting. I’d cancel culture needs to exist, at least let it do its duty by taking out these pieces of human garbage

  • Go Unc!! Out them ALL
    July 7, 2020 at 10:16 am

    This is the most disgusting and disturbing shit I’ve seen in a long time. OUT ALL OF THEM UNC…I hope ALL of them get charged legally. Interwebz is forever you dumb bunch of inbred morons! Good luck keeping any employment you may currently have, or any future employment you will seek. Stunts like this shit will follow amd haunt you forever, as they should. I hope that girl realizes that ANY apology is nothing but a lie from any of these weasels, who are all now crying ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING OUTED. Bunch of MAINE SHITBAGS.

    • Snarky Pete
      July 7, 2020 at 10:19 am

      These rednecks “work fer muh daddy”

  • Mr. Leahy
    July 7, 2020 at 10:10 am

    And what’s with the confederate flags? The men from the 20th Maine Regiment that fought in Gettysburg would not be happy….

  • george costanza
    Rick Dalton's flamethrower
    July 7, 2020 at 9:31 am

    I’m available . On a different note, hey kayla why the long face? Are you fed apples,carrots and sugar cubes? A blowie from you could result in a guy’s dick being turned into chipped beef. Fucking cunts,all of you.

    • Truth
      July 7, 2020 at 10:22 am

      She has a long face because she was shit out her mother’s ass. It’s a much tighter hole. Shaped her head into a turd.

  • Truth
    July 7, 2020 at 9:29 am

    Finally, something Confederate flag wavers and BLM have in common.

  • Stewart Nod
    July 7, 2020 at 9:23 am

    What in the heck is going on with all these old blogs?????

    • randiguy2006
      Many people are saying...
      July 7, 2020 at 12:57 pm

      Aiden has the commie flu.

    • Jeff J
      July 7, 2020 at 2:28 pm

      HE’S ON FUCKING VACATION AND SAID HE’D BE POSTING OLD BLOGS!!!! “Duuuuh…..he’s got the commie cold. Duuuuuuhhhh…….his wife said get a job. Duuuuhhhh……I think he got arrested.”
      JFC you people sound dumb AF.

  • hartf811
    July 7, 2020 at 9:20 am

    What in Gods name is that half-blood nagger doing up in hillbilly Maine?
    Doesn’t he realize that the morons he hangs with are less than 1 generation away from his kind being hunted for sport with flashlights and dogs?
    Kang of the clown show.

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