Bulldykes, junkboxes, and artificial insemination, oh my! This is Part 2 – See Part 1 here
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On a recent dreary day, with only a raspy, “I-smoke-2-packs-of-Newport-100s-a-day” voice ululating cries of “GET HER DEE! GET HER! DEE WHOOP HER FUCKIN ASS! GET THE FUCK UP DEE!” to go on, I waded through profile after profile and stacks of leads longer than your average ratchet’s rap sheet, trying to identify the cheesehogs in the video. I delved into what I thought would be your standard-issue ratchetry. Little did I know there was no amount of preparation I could have gone through for the pro-level status of what my eyes were about to see. I warn you, Turtle riders, this one is messy. Buckle up, buttercups, and let me take you on a little zip trip to the 02151.
And so it was, with a Dee and a prayer, I was able to identify the first cheesehog in the video. Meet Dolores “Dee” Marino, of Revere, or, Herpesaurus Hoodratchetus as we’ve come to know and loathe her.
What a beak on this cheesehog. She’s also got the typical junkie mush mouth going on. Sweet late 70s Nova, too.
Anyway, Dee is what looks like, at least on the face of it, your typical velociratchet – in and out of the clink, arrested at least a dozen times. A few highlights:
What makes her a unique velociratchet, a true Herpesaurus Hoodratchetus, is that she changes her girlfriends more often than she changes her crusty boxers and willingly puts herself in jail so she can be with them. Dee pits these girls against each other while bouncing back and forth between them, and fortunately for us, the majority of it is documented on social media. We gotta hand it to her, though; she’s got some serious game in the junkbox community.
Her most recent on-and-off flavor of the day is Kristina Elliott, AKA Raspy Rachel from yesterday’s video. They’ve been together since May 2015.
Background look familiar? It’s the same underpass where Dee got her ass whooped.
As you can see, the guttermuppet 2.0 in front is knocked up. Dee has taken on the role of proud baby daddy, being fully inaugurated back in early February when the baby fell out of Kristina’s cunt hatch. A lot of people were questioning who the baby daddy is, and here’s Dee’s take on it:
Artificial insemination. Yep. Someone grabbed a turkey baster and rammed it up that sow’s potholed pussy to help create a baby for these two loving, caring souls. Riiiiiight. More likely that it’s a John’s baby that she earned on her back in an alley in the Combat Zone, in addition to the few bucks he tossed at her after for a bag of dope. Lord knows these slugrakes don’t have a penny between them to pay for legitimate in-vitro. The John probably should have given her a sloppy jalopy instead, her face looks like she could have used it.
We’ll get back to Kristina in a bit, for right now, let’s focus on Dee. Dee has been bouncing from junkbox to junkbox for the last few years.
In September 2015, Dee briefly had a fling with a slopbucket by the name of Candyce
Side, side wifey. How the fuck does this bulldyke pull all these bitches and North Shore Turtlebabe can’t even get a call back?
Then, in October 2015, Dee is back with and engaged/FB married to a gutterslug named Leana Santoro, whom she’d also apparently been off and on with
As you can see, Dee’s friends are not surprised, just curious as to who the lucky lady is THIS time around.
Although Dee is clearly the boy, it looks like Leana’s got a killer 5 o’clock shadow going on. It’s important to note that Leana and Dee have been in jail together at least once, if not several times, and depending on who they’re locked up with… their relationship may be on or off at any given time.
It seems Dee kept her stench trench to herself for awhile, or, learned to keep it off social media. The next prominent rumblings of infidelity don’t begin until December 2016, when Kristina is full-blown butterball status:
2 days before Christmas. Dee, what a fucking grinch.
Here’s Cynthia MacKay, the homewrecker, who is likely a resident of one of Revere’s finest neighborhoods, the Revere Trailer Park. It’s located next to Suffolk Downs. Rumor has it that on a nice, warm evening, while sitting on your lawn couch surrounded by Natty Ice empties and early 90s relics on cinder blocks, you can catch a solid whiff of horse shit, raw sewage from Revere Beach, and maybe a waft of fries from DiMino’s. All in all, a bouquet of aromas that know you have it made in Seveeeeah Reveeeah, kehd.
She IS that girl! She and Dee actually look like they could be related. I think it’s the junkie mush mouth.
She wasn’t always that way, and was kinda cute at one point. As you can see in the comments, there’s Kristina, letting her know that she has fallen off HARD from these looks of yore. Do me a favor, pay attention to her teeth. Slight gap, not exactly white, but not yellow either. Normal teeth.
Whooooa, Mr. Ed! At least she remembered to put her dentures in before taking a gummy smile pic (although I would have paid to see it.) Heroin’s bad kids, it wrecks your chompers! Don’t be a Cynthia.
OK, Cynthia is not very interesting or relevant other than her brief scissoring fest with Dee, so, we’ll leave her alone.
Before we get back to Kristina, lets meet the other cheesehog star of the video, The Pink Pangolin, AKA Shannon DiBartolomeo
TPP in her natural habitat, which consists of dirty clothes strewn about, a pit bull mix on the bed, a trash can right next to the bed so when you’re dopesick you don’t have to roll far to puke, some reading material, and a pack of Marlboros. Pretty standard stuff.
Now, we still don’t know what Shannon did to Kristina. We don’t know why Kristina sicced Dee on her, either, since she wasn’t pregnant anymore when the fight went down. We hope someone can fill us in on this little tidbit soon.
Shannon also has a rap sheet (I know, right?) – it’s your standard junkie fare:
Now, Shannon is a God loving/fearing woman. A GOOD Christian, if you will, just doing the Lord’s work by banging out ratchet bulldykes in her spare time
She is NOT ashamed.
Now, I know the title of the article talks specifically about lesbo ratchets; Shannon, however, is not a lesbian herself, although she firmly believes in gay rights, and that Jesus accepts people as they are, regardless of their sexual orientation (I actually agree with her on this one!) Sorry if that leads to any disappointment.
She has several children, and appears to still be in a relationship with their father. So, that lowers her Ratchet Level on the meter to about… meh, a 6. She actually seems like a half-decent person when you take the “disease” and mowing down other ratchets in her spare time out of the equation.
Sweet baby Jesus, she can string together a cohesive, sort of articulate paragraph AND uses punctuation. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the one knocking heads around as opposed to having it done to your own.
Shannon, Dee, and Kristina (and all the slugrakes featured here) were all friends at one point or another, and may even be friends again today. Here’s an interesting exchange between Kristina and Shannon from December about Leana (Dee’s old FB wife) talking shit in jail:
Leana’s not the only hooker and Sabrina Rose Lewis allegedly has the HIV and is spreading it on purpose. Got it. Kristina, meanwhile, is HIV negative. Good for you, girl! That’s the sole metric by which I want to be judged in my life, too, and something I’d DEFINITELY want to let all my Facebook friends know.
Let’s move on to Kristina, AKA Raspy Rachel, the narrator of our Ratchet Rumpus, because she’s the real Belle of the entire fucking ball here.
The tittoo reads “Rey” as in, King in Spanish, or just some dude in a slammed 1992 two-tone Civic with deep dish wheels
Of course she’s been arrested as many times as her baby daddy, Dee, if not more
And, popped just recently, only THREE FUCKING DAYS before the baby fell out of her tuna box:
She got a litany of charges thrown at her, up to and including assault and battery on a cop. I guess she was trying to boost a Slurpee from 7/11 and Gupta’s uncle Siddharth was NOT having it.
And in the least surprising turn of events, it’s not the first time that she’s tussled with the fuzz, either:
Just FYI: “A-1 Cops” refers to Boston PD who cover areas like Downtown, Chinatown, and Charlestown – my bet is on this bitch being in the Combat Zone looking to earn a few bucks on her back. Or bent over in an alley. Either way. She alleges the cops smashed her phone and broke all her cigs – yep, you read that right – 7ish months pregnant and rippin’ butts like no one’s business. Claaaaassy. Seems she’s more concerned about her Obama phone and $10 pack of Newpie 100s than she is about her fucking unborn baby. What a dumpsterslug. Unfortunately, the cigarettes are probably the least worrisome thing she’s putting in her body.
Prior to this last run in with the popo over her “medication,” this cameltoe queen got locked up straight from court, stemming from her October 14th arrest for possession of Class C narcotics. If you’re not familiar, that’s things like Klonopin – so, benzos.
Her arrest for benzos is toooootally a surprise, considering
To her friends commenting on the ‘free my babymama’ court photo letting it be known that they were complicit in Kristina being a fucking junkbox while pregnant with the “Oh, maybe it’s for the best…” shit: Where the fuck were you guys while she was making K-Pin Koolaid while knocked up? Love these people who share warm wishes and sentiments after the fact. You’re just as shitty a person as Kristina is for knowing it was going on and not doing dick about it. I’m lookin’ at you, Baby Daddy Dee and Nicole.
I am honestly fucking floored that the baby was born and looks relatively healthy considering all it went through in the womb. The drugs, the cigs, the police brutality, and random vigilante junkie beaters in Eastie:
I HATE when I go to The Point for tacos and end up getting kicked in my fupa for being mistaken for a junkie. Happens at least every other Saturday. You Eastie people are outta fuckin’ control.
Also, notice, Kristina doesn’t mention a goddamn thing about the baby being OK, even when asked. Like… did you go to the hospital? Or just hop right on the Facebook machine to let everyone know what just happened to you, a PREGNANT girl. Fuck the baby, right? Gross.
There’s a ton more about Kristina, but none of it new, so before we close this novel, let’s meet BFF Chicky:
Heeeeeeey Chickayyyyyyy. Get home, your mom has your crotch fruit and clearly isn’t happy about it.
Chicky embodies loyalty. She is Kristina’s ride or die BFF, and even if she DOESN’T know what Shannon did to her, she was still there for support. We all need a Chicky in our lives.
Although this blog is long, I don’t feel like it’s done. I am sure we will here more from these fine, upstanding citizens soon enough.
Need to get in touch with North Shore Turtle Babe? Email: NorthShoreTurtlebabe@gmail.com
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