Able-Bodied GoFundMe Man Messages Deskie About Libel Lawsuit, Says Cancer Patients And Vets Have It Easier Than Him, Gets Offered Work But Turns It Down, Was Fired For Stealing, Dropped Out Of College Cuz His GF Dumped Him, And People With Kids Have It Easy
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
Yesterday we blogged about this able-bodied man from Spencer named Joe Montville, who started a $1,500 GoFundMe because he got a DUI three years ago and can’t get his shit together:
Now, some of you might be asking yourselves – who gives a shit about this one loser? But the problem is that he is not just one loser. There are millions like him. And they vote. And they collect and feed off the system that we pay for by going to work every day. People like this need to be called out because they honestly have no idea that their behavior is pitiful.
Anyway, he has responded and somehow found a way to make himself come across as even more pathetic than we previously realized. It’s a long post, so we’ll break it down piece by piece…
So he’s got a landscaping company that he’s trying to get off the ground, but he just doesn’t want to pay Facebook promotion money. Newsflash moron – you have to spend money to make money. It’s not a cost, it’s an investment. That’s how a business works. Remember this kid we told you about?
He probably spent $20 on those brochures. Then he spent a couple hours driving around looking for houses with shitty mailboxes. If he passed out 500 of them and gets 20 call backs, and they average $200 bucks a job, he makes $4,000 like that. He is supplying a demand. This is how an economy works.
Then in one of the most insane things I’ve ever read, he basically said that being a single man in his 20’s is harder than being married with children:
Oh yea, life is easy when you have kids. They don’t cost anything. Food, clothes, diapers, soccer, gymnastics, college – these things are cheap. Unfreaking real.
Life is also stacked against him because he has to pay money because he drove drunk and got pulled over like an idiot:
Oh, and it’s the government’s fault because they’re fighting, “wars for oil.” Got it.
Oh, and it’s not his fault he got a DUI – it’s the cop’s fault for patrolling the streets and pulling people over who commit traffic violations.
Next up was the sob story about living in a foster home:
The fact that he thinks a $100,000 home is some status of the rich tells you everything you need to know about how dumb this person is. Oh, and as far as him living in the basement of the foster home…..
Oh look, someone else who lived in the same foster home as he did but isn’t using it as a crutch at the age of 25. Turns out he wasn’t living in the basement because he was living with an evil foster mom. He was living there because he wanted to.
Anyway, he was enrolled at UMass Dartmouth, so what happened with that?
Oh I see. He was a 3.7 GPA student, on the fast track to an engineering career. Then his girlfriend broke up with him and – BOOM – his life fell apart. Because he’s the ONLY college aged guy to ever get dumped by a chick. And we all know that when a chick dumps you when you’re 20, the whole world stops. Meanwhile my college roommate had to leave UMass after one semester because he joined the National Guard to pay his way through college, and he had to spend the second semester seeing beautiful Afghanistan in all its glory. But yea, you had it rough because your girlfriend dumped you. Luckily your new recent high school graduate girlfriend is cool with you living with her and contributing nothing while she works at Price Chopper all day.
And apparently this foster mom was evil because she was collecting checks from the state for being a foster parent (cuz I guess they should do it for free), she never bought him new clothes, she told him lying was a bad thing, and she locked the food cabinets because he wouldn’t stop eating all the Cheese-Its:
It’s not his fault though – it’s because corporations, politicians, and bankers are greedy and make income inequality:
Because apparently we are all supposed to be equal financially. Ya got that? This guy sitting on his ass all day is entitled to the same salary as the rest of us. What’s that called again? Oh yea, socialism.
It’s also the fault of shitty therapists who didn’t help him enough:
Because the foster moms, teachers, therapists, and countless others who have tried helping him out at no cost to him just weren’t good enough for Joe Montville.
So why doesn’t he just get a job? Well it turns out he was working at Price Chopper with his girlfriend Zabrina (who is currently “holding him down”) because he stole produce and snacks. But as usual, it’s not his fault:
In other words, Price Chopper has a rule about produce that is about to expire. They don’t want someone eating rotten food, getting sick, and suing them. But Joe Montville doesn’t like the rule, so why should he have to follow it? Rules are Trump-supporting sheep man!!
So why don’t you just do what the mailbox kid did?
So he has no starting capital to launch his business, nor does he have a car to get him places. Here’s an idea – ride a bike. You’re 25 years old and it’s the summer. Or instead of starting a GoFundMe where all you do is take, start a GoFundMe where you promise to pay back every single person who donates. Then you take their money and invest it into your business. Or better yet – ask your girlfriend to give you a ride. I mean, if she’s willing to put up with an unemployed 25 year old man for a live in boyfriend, then giving you a ride to fill out some applications shouldn’t be too hard.
He can’t apply for jobs today though, because he’s gonna be down at Ralph’s reading his writings:
And if they’re anything like his Facebook Live shows, where him and his friend walk around Elm Park and talk about how silly it is to want a job, then you know he’s gonna spit some wisdom:
“In my mind I’m thinking about all these negative thoughts that go on in my head, from the news and from wanting a job, and anything silly like that. These things that we’re told to worry about but don’t really need to worry about. I’d like to see music in the park. I’d like to listen to some music, see some people dancing, and just admire the beauty that that the universe has to offer.
“I’d like.” That’s all you ever hear from me. Give me, give me, give me. Meanwhile he offers nothing. There should be music and dancing at the park because that would make him happy. Who will pay for it? Doesn’t matter. He wants it.
When we went on Joe’s page to remind him that GoFundMe’s are for people with cancer, or others who are in desperate need through no fault of their own, Joe Montville basically said that cancer patients have it easier than him because they have support groups:
Yup, he actually said that. You think that just because he’s an able bodied white guy he should be able to get a job and work just like that? This is totally unreasonable.
Oh, and the shit he’s been through in the Auburn foster home makes him at least equally deserving as a veteran who has been to war and now has trouble readjusting to society because of PTSD:
But wait, it gets better. A former coworker of his at VPA (I assume this is Valet Park of America – an awesome job for an able bodied male of his age), who put himself through night school to learn a trade while also having a 2 year old and a pregnant wife while working 50 hours a week, tried to give him some perspective:
And as usual, Joe found a way to explain why this guy had it easier than him. His old friend was having none of that though:
Love this guy. This guy is what makes America the greatest country on earth. Not according to Joe though. It’s America’s fault that he can’t get his shit together because the rest of the world is giving away free shit to freeloaders like him:
So seeing that Joe couldn’t find a job, Jonathan no only offered him work, he also said he would pick him up at his house:
But this was apparently like “talking to a wall” according to Joe:
How do you find a job? Are you fucking kidding me? HE JUST OFFERED YOU A FUCKING JOB!!! And you don’t even have to drive there. He picks you up. But of course he doesn’t want a job. He just wants you to give him money for being a lazy, free loading piece of goo.
So Jonathan offered him another job:
So he’ll teach him a trade that Joe can use to make more money, and he’ll pay him to mow his lawn and wash his car. Sounds like a good deal for someone who needs the cash. But as usual, this wasn’t good enough for Joe. Ya see, he won’t work for $10 an hour because his time is worth more than that:
Because unemployed men begging for money on the Internet are in a position to turn down work because they’re worth more money than that. Plus, he disagrees with the “concept of money”:
So yea, he’s not gonna take the job offer because he has plenty of people donating money to him for doing nothing:
“I have plenty of people who would positively hand me their money after a hard day work.”
He actually said that and sees nothing wrong with it. Wow. Just wow. I wanna be friends with his friends. What a scam he’s got going. He literally latches onto people who are dumb enough to work all day and hand cash over to him. Genius.
The sad part is there are idiots who have given to him, and are supporting his insanity, including his girlfriend who obviously knows how to pick em:
Finally he messaged the inbox with talks of libel lawsuits (at least he got the right the word!), but he was quickly swayed by Deskie and they bonded over their mutual loserdom:
The bottom line is, this idiot’s mentality is hardly harmless. When Bernie Sanders speaks, he is speaking to people like Joe. And they are dumb enough to believe it.
And if people like him continue to multiply and vote for people like this, then eventually the government is gonna become one gigantic GoFundMe, where working people bust their ass all day so free loaders like Joe can be free thinkers.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.