• Follow Turtleboy on Facebook

  • All-Star Springfield Mom Wants You To Pay For Her Kid’s Christmas Because She Blew All Her Money On Weed, Booze, And Newports, Forgot To Sign Up For Toys For Tots 

    All-Star Springfield Mom Wants You To Pay For Her Kid’s Christmas Because She Blew All Her Money On Weed, Booze, And Newports, Forgot To Sign Up For Toys For Tots

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

    The Turtleboy Sports Facebook page AND the Lost Boys of Turtle have been unpublished. While we fight to get them back please make sure to like and follow the Turtleboy Sports Fallout Shelter Freedom Page page by clicking on the image above, as well as our other backup pages the Turtleboy Refugees, Turtleboy Sports Safe Space, and Turtleboy Smiles And Sunshine.








    Here’s another winner out of Springfield…..

    A single mother trying to give her daughter a nice first Christmas. How sweet. Really tugs at the heartstrings when you see stuff like this.

    LOL. Just kidding. You can tell just from her mastery of the English language that her Facebook page would be a ratchtacular cornicopia. That and the fact that she somehow “missed” the sign up for toys for tots. Lots of responsible parents forget to sign up for free Christmas gifts when they know they can’t afford any.

    And of course the first thing you see on her Facebook page is…..

    Dog filter and tittoos. My mind is already made up, but of course there’s more.

    Surely Amanda Ayala has budgeted properly and is only reaching out to strangers to finance her Christmas because she’s exhausted all other options, right?

    Newport 100’s. Never saw that one coming. Goes well with vodka, Coronas and blunts to the face 100 emoji.

    But remember, she’s very stressed right now because she’s “trying to be the best single mom.” This is what the best single moms do. They blow all their money on liquor, weed, and cigarettes. Especially weed:

    Hey Amanda, here’s an idea to save a couple bucks. First of all, stop smoking blunts. Smoke bowls instead. I know it’s ghettofabulous and Jersey shorish to strictly stick to blunts. But they’re pretty wasteful when you think about it. A blunt probably has 5-6 bowl packs in it. You can get a nice buzz off a bowl pack by yourself. You don’t need to waste all that weed on a blunt.

    Secondly, you live in Springfield. There’s plenty of dirt shwagg around everywhere. Stop blowing all your money on sour this and blue haze that. Just get the generic shit from Diego at a quarter of the price. It won’t be the same but it will get the job done. Just sayin.

    She’s also got plenty of cash for Ubers


    Kelly Bundy dresses

    And of course Jordan’s and Timberland’s for the baby:

    Because that’s what good parents value. Not financial stability, or education, or values. Jordan’s and Timz are what really matter. This is like a crash course in how to never, ever get out of Springfield.

    Oh, and did I mention she lives in public housing?

    So it’s not enough that taxpayers subsidize her housing, give her food stamps (there’s a 1,000% chance she’s got stamps), and her poor life decisions. Now she wants you to pay for her kid’s Christmas because she blew all the Xmas cash on blunts, booze, and Newports.

    Naturally the post has been removed before we could screenshot all the comments. But you can imagine what was there. A bunch of white women from Amherst telling the ratchet’s critics that “we don’t know her story,” and that she “doesn’t have a family to support her,” and blah, blah, blah. Because this is what these feel good ding dongs do. They pretend people like this are all honest, because they never went to school with anyone like this, and they intentionally chose to live far, far away from them. They pretend like our world isn’t filled with con-artists who make a living ripping off the system, because it would disrupt their narrative.

    Anyway, Christmas doesn’t even matter until your kid turns 2, and her kid isn’t even a year old yet. Nothing matters less than a baby’s first Christmas. They have no clue what’s going on. They don’t understand the concept of material possessions. They don’t have any idea who Santa is. And they won’t remember any of it. Amanda could literally just hand the girl her leftover blunt raps and car keys and her baby would have hours upon hours of entertainment.

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


    1. Lisa

      Remind me again how drug testing for welfare recipients would be wasteful spending?

      1. Lala

        It would make way more sense to test for nicotine than to test for marijuana.

        1. Stupidpeoplemakemenutz

          How does this comment even make any fucken sense??? You must be related to her!!

        2. Finn

          How is that brainiac? Do tell. [grabs popcorn]

    2. Finn

      How is that baby *not* getting high from this skank’s 2nd hand smoke?

      1. Becky Blueline

        That was my first thought. That poor child doesn’t stand a chance in life with… THAT as a parent. What that child needs for Christmas is to be put in a nice, cozy, weed and nicotine-free stocking and then wake up under another family’s tree on Christmas morning.

        And I’m sorry, but what the HELL is sour?? These weed and whatever else posts these people put up are in a whole other language.

        1. Itsjustme

          I was wondering that too, she used another term I also didn’t know either but I’m assuming they are nicknames for pot. I seriously can’t believe the stuff people post, especially when the post is public, for everyone to read.
          I mean she is obviously a horrible mother but does she not care if the world thinks that as well? Honestly I don’t care what people think about me, unless it comes to my children and then I care because I would never want someone to think I am not taken care of them, or I am not a good mother. I guess maybe that’s just me.

        2. weeeeed

          sour diesel strain i think

    3. SVU

      Wrap a few boxes that’s all kids who are one care about. And then buy a few toys. Even at the dollar store. Every mother wants to give their child a wonderful xmas no matter what their age is, but if you don’t have money cause you bought shit you shouldn’t have then it’s on you. And you should be thankful they are only one, so they don’t know how shitty you are as a parent.

      1. Itsjustme

        Exactly. I remember my oldest first Christmas, I wrapped diapers, wipes, baby shampoo, a couple toys, but mostly stuff she needed. She played with the wrapping paper more than anything

    4. Lolajack

      Toys for Tots isn’t the only organization that gives gifts to needy kids. She could try the local fire and police departments, the local churches and ask them for help. OR, try saving a few bucks a couple months ahead of time for her child’s first Christmas. As someone suggested, a dollar store has tons of stuff. A kid’s first Christmas isn’t going to be expensive, believe me. They’re happy with anything. How old is this kid?

    5. GraftonHillGirl

      Because pot is LEGAL.

      1. Finn

        Yeah, it’s legal – but it’s intended for people who can responsibly use it (not for shitty parents who put their own needs first).

      2. LocalYokel

        Not at a Federal level, which is where all the pass-through money for the State programs comes from.

      3. Heebie Peterson

        Tell that to the Federal government (which is where she gets her AFDC money from). Pretty sure they still think it’s illegal.

    6. Chip Striker

      It’s a Didi Delgado Christmas!!

      1. Netflicks n chill

        She looks like she could be black, I could be wrong. But if she is I’m sure Didi dumpster would love to help her out. They can chill and smoke a blunt of sour diesel together.

    7. ElJefe72

      Beer, alcohol, cigars, pot, etc…I’m sure her breath smells like fresh roses.

    8. TJustice

      Switch to natty lights. There like $8 for a 12 pack. You can use the pull tops to make a necklace for the kid.

      1. NH Tuna Tit

        high life 18 pack $8.99 at market basket. Natty ice $14.99 30 pack ftw

    9. bleh

      ” And they won’t remember any of it”…much like Amanda.

    10. Itsjustme

      I’m so glad I have the turtle so I know where my tax dollars go.

    11. Amazing

      Swear to turtle this just saved my life. I wish I never stoped smoking weed. I can however afford it and am not on assistance of any kind. I do t want to drink and miss the ganja so much. Thank you turtle, from the bottom of my heart!

    12. Fed up teacher and taxpayer

      I teach in this city – sad but definitely not surprising. Great Mama she is.. getting high while baby is sleeping. How can you respond to a child waking up with a wet diaper, teething, fever, or emergency if your stoned out of your mind smoking blunts and drinking Coronas? So is Mommy Dearest stepping outside to smoke those blunts and cigs? More than likely NOT. In a few more years I’ll sit across from Miss Ayal in my classroom and hear her exclaim, “I don’t know why my baby has such bad asthma!” It’s because your lazy ass smokes in the house!!

    13. Name

      Is her skin tone dark enough to qualify for the Didi Delgado white guilt fund? I guess we would have to hear from the many many women that have benefited from that fund. Allegedly they all are named Didi (Elizabeth)

    14. Turtleboy Nation

      This is why I don’t vote Democrats. Trump should deport Elizabeth Warren and this scumbag of a mom

    15. Egypt’s Daddy Tell Didi Suck a Dick

      Tell her I got a a couple dollaz if she hold her breath and starts clucking her head like a chicken around my lap. Gobble Gobble I’ll buy her kids Used Shopkins and hatchimals But only if she swallow the throat yogurt. If she doesn’t, The kids are gonna get shitty board games with missing pieces.

    16. Santa

      Willing to donate toys and semen to this young mother.

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow