We’ve avoided this topic because for some reason it’s considered a political issue, and we try to avoid politics that don’t involve small town bullshit. But this has gone too far and we needed to speak out on the idiocy of it all:
The minimum wage going to $15 is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. We like to avoid this issue because it turns into an economics debate, and internet experts from both sides of the aisle come out and post their links that no one will ever read in the comments section.
But there’s no need to even talk about the economics of it all, because it’s just fucking common sense that if you’re working at a minimum wage job, you don’t deserve $15 an hour. Know why? Because minimum wage jobs are supposed to be the beginning, not the end. If you’re dumb enough to look at Dunkin Donuts as a career, then you deserve the scraps you’re paid.
Look, minimum wage jobs are for greasy high school kids. That’s a fact. I understand that it’s not that simple, and some people find themselves in situations where a minimum wage job is their only option. But people keep talking about a “living wage.” Newsflash – you’re not supposed to live off of a minimum wage. You’re supposed to struggle. You’re supposed to hate it so much that it motivates you to figure out a way to make a real living wage so that you can come back and tell your $30K a year manager what a loser he is.
And a lot of people are talking about “working up the ladder” too. You got it all wrong. There is no ladder at Dunkin Donuts. It’s a temporary job where you’re paid to not give a fuck while you scheme about how you’re going to make real money. Because the whole point of living in America is create your own ladder, not climb someone else’s.
Let’s look at some dumb things people are saying on Facebook:
Hey Nancy, I know what it’s like to make $20,000 a year. It sucked big ones. What you’re supposed to do in that situation is tell yourself, “no fucking way I’m doing this the rest of my life.” Then you figure out how to make real money. Because at the end of the day, this is America. And if you can’t figure out how to make money in America, then you’re a fucking moron. Because there’s tons of cash being tossed around in America.
See this is a myth that the right likes to keep going. Work your ass off and you’ll be rich. As if being the Dunkin Donuts employee of the month is gonna get you somewhere in life. This country is filled with people who got straight A’s in college and can’t make money afterwards. Because you’ve all bought into this hard work bullshit. The richest companies in America weren’t founded by the hardest workers. They’re created by crafty people with a brilliant idea.
You’re right, that’s a lot of fucking money Paul. Losers look at that and whine about it on Facebook. Winners look at that and say, “I gotta figure out how to do that.”
Oh I see. Employees are just trying to share profits that don’t belong to them. Well why didn’t you say so? Because apparently if you work at a business you are now a part owner. So when I make Turtleboy Jr. do some chores in a couple years, I guess that means his name goes on the deed to our land.
Oh good, someone has arbitrarily decided what people are allowed to make. What can possibly go wrong?
See that right there? This comment represents everything wrong with the whiner crowd. A franchise owner makes $150K a year??? Holy shit, where does he or she put it all?? Anyone who looks at a salary of of $150K and thinks that’s some insane, unattainable number is someone I don’t want in America. Don’t get me wrong, you can make a real nice living with that kind of cash. But anyone who looks at $150K as some sort of unattainable goal deserves to be making $9 an hour.
The bottom line is everyone in America should have to watch Shark Tank. It’s the only reality TV show that has ever been worth watching. You think any of those sharks really worked THAT hard? Nope. They were just smarter than everyone else.
But it’s the people that come on the show that are really worth watching. Because the people that are on that show all have one thing in common – they all rejected the bullshit, “hard work will help you climb the ladder” propaganda we’ve had forced down our throats. They all decided they’d rather control their own destiny than leave it in the hands of someone else to decide their salary. That’s what winners do. They go out there and take it instead of demanding that someone else give it to them.
Boom. You’re rich now.