Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
The Recorder: A local man faces assault charges stemming from a fight over how to dispose of a dead pet catfish. Seth M. Allen, 20, of 137 Marble St., pleaded innocent to assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and assault with a dangerous weapon when he was arraigned Friday in Orange District Court. According to Athol Police officer Todd W. Neale, he arrived at the family’s home at about 10:10 a.m. Jan. 6 and learned Allen and his stepfather got into a fistfight when they disagreed on how to dispose of their dead catfish. Neale was eventually joined by reserve officer Richard Martin.
Neale reports the stepfather said he and Allen were yelling at each other, and Allen slammed a door into his face, causing a swollen left eye. The stepfather said he went into the kitchen to clean the blood from his injury and noticed Allen raising a baseball bat before Allen’s mother took it from him. Neale then spoke with Allen, who explained he accidentally kicked the door during the argument and it likely caused his stepfather’s injury. Allen told Neale he never had a bat in his hands during the fight, though he knew where in the apartment the family kept two bats. Neale then arrested Allen and took him to the Athol Police Department.
Close your eyes and imagine what Seth Allen looks like.
Was this what you had in mind?
I was definitely expecting more of a Wal-Mart crowd. This guy looks like more of the comic con kind of guy.
But hey, when your stepdad drinks the last of the Mountain Dew, tensions start running high. Anything goes at that point.
Anyway, nothing about this story is surprising. Especially when you drive through town in this is one of the first houses you see on Main Street:
When a pet catfish dies in Athol, it almost always turns into a bloodbath of a domestic dispute. Some think you have to flush it down the toilet. Others say cremate. Some wanna eat it. Others wanna bury it in the backyard. There’s no easy way to resolve these issues, so sometimes to only way to figure out the appropriate course of action is by hitting your stepdad with the door and hitting him with a baseball bat. Just make sure your Mom isn’t around to foil your plans.
Seth Allen also runs his own photography blog. And as you can see, he encapsulates Athol better than anyone else can with his work:
Those are the most Athol pictures we’ve ever seen. The only thing he’s missing is the video of Misti Iorio, Athol’s most Turtleboy famous resident, on her trip to the Maury Povich show to find out who the father of her baby is.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.