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Athol Man Arrested For Trying To Hit Stepfather With Bat Over Dispute Involving Dead Pet Catfish Is The Most Athol Story Ever

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The RecorderA local man faces assault charges stemming from a fight over how to dispose of a dead pet catfish. Seth M. Allen, 20, of 137 Marble St., pleaded innocent to assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and assault with a dangerous weapon when he was arraigned Friday in Orange District Court. According to Athol Police officer Todd W. Neale, he arrived at the family’s home at about 10:10 a.m. Jan. 6 and learned Allen and his stepfather got into a fistfight when they disagreed on how to dispose of their dead catfish. Neale was eventually joined by reserve officer Richard Martin.

Neale reports the stepfather said he and Allen were yelling at each other, and Allen slammed a door into his face, causing a swollen left eye. The stepfather said he went into the kitchen to clean the blood from his injury and noticed Allen raising a baseball bat before Allen’s mother took it from him. Neale then spoke with Allen, who explained he accidentally kicked the door during the argument and it likely caused his stepfather’s injury. Allen told Neale he never had a bat in his hands during the fight, though he knew where in the apartment the family kept two bats. Neale then arrested Allen and took him to the Athol Police Department.

Close your eyes and imagine what Seth Allen looks like.

Was this what you had in mind?

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I was definitely expecting more of a Wal-Mart crowd. This guy looks like more of the comic con kind of guy.

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But hey, when your stepdad drinks the last of the Mountain Dew, tensions start running high. Anything goes at that point.

Anyway, nothing about this story is surprising. Especially when you drive through town in this is one of the first houses you see on Main Street:

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When a pet catfish dies in Athol, it almost always turns into a bloodbath of a domestic dispute. Some think you have to flush it down the toilet. Others say cremate. Some wanna eat it. Others wanna bury it in the backyard. There’s no easy way to resolve these issues, so sometimes to only way to figure out the appropriate course of action is by hitting your stepdad with the door and hitting him with a baseball bat. Just make sure your Mom isn’t around to foil your plans.

Seth Allen also runs his own photography blog. And as you can see, he encapsulates Athol better than anyone else can with his work:

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Those are the most Athol pictures we’ve ever seen. The only thing he’s missing is the video of Misti Iorio, Athol’s most Turtleboy famous resident, on her trip to the Maury Povich show to find out who the father of her baby is.

 

 

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20 Comment(s)
  • Harley
    January 15, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    This is not real you assholes, dont believe eveything you read. Just cause it I the internet does not man it creditable. You guys are haters and yes he has a disability but that does not label him. God he is my bro and even if he did get arrested it would be for hating chest tattoos.

  • Polar Express Conductor
    January 15, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    He is also a known hater of the Prius.

  • Katie Holden
    January 15, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    The photos featured at the bottom are photos of my boyfriend. Those pictures were taken for fun and in no way show the professional work that Seth has done. P.s. my boyfriend doesn’t do drugs either. These were taken way out of context

  • Ashamed Atholian
    January 12, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    Your headline should’ve been, “Man Loses His Marbles On Marble Street.”
    Screw this hicktown.

  • Sloppy
    January 12, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    Which one is he? The chunky retarded guy, or the wigger?
    I’d pound that chick in the white jeans in his blog BTW

  • Sloppy
    January 12, 2017 at 6:18 pm

    One of the things I like best about the Turtle Boy blog is that they call out all the white trash losers around here. Why should they get a pass? Such a substantial segment of the local population whose shenanigans so often slide under the radar. Let ’em have it. We’re paying for all their food stamps, EBT cards, Masshealth, fuel assistance and whatever else they leech from us while they sit around drinking Steel Reserve and smoking schwag, the least they can do is entertain us.

  • VFW President
    January 12, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    Am I the only one who thinks he looks like “Bubbles” from Trailer Park Boys?

  • whatevuh
    WHATEVUH
    January 12, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    more evidence of in-breading . . . .

    • 1776
      January 12, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      Asperger’s/Autism is from inbreeding? You should call someone A.S.A.P. who does research for autism and let them know this interesting piece of information!!!!

  • Dick Dover
    January 12, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    Poor kid, most stepparents need a pipe taken to them at one time or another. Time to leave home and never look back.

  • Kid, chill it
    January 12, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    The kid resembles a young Michael Moore. Athol was a going town a long time ago. Starrett Tool is still there, surprisingly.

  • BobnMic's Gerbil
    January 12, 2017 at 11:57 am

    Wow. I hope when my day comes that there’s a similar kind of fight at my place.

  • Atholite
    January 12, 2017 at 11:50 am

    Just FYI — the kid is a nut… but does have Aspergers

    • Turd Burglestein
      January 12, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      He has ass burgers? Like Cartman?

    • 1776
      January 12, 2017 at 1:43 pm

      If he does in fact have Asperger’s, then I hope he is at least receiving counseling. I refuse to make fun of anyone who has this complex diagnosis. It’s just wrong.

  • Cris Gagne
    Wtf
    January 12, 2017 at 11:27 am

    Pleaded is the most annoying word ever. Did he readed a book too? Plead or pled but not pleaded. I dont understand why it is continually used AND is acceptable english. Maybe he breeded his catfish and then he wont be sad.

    • Talisman
      January 12, 2017 at 12:52 pm

      That, and using the word arguably, in the context that there’s no argument about the subject. I can’t stand cliche buzzwords and phrases, especially ones like “pleaded”.
      I also wouldn’t mind if a law was passed that allowed a throat punch to anyone that says “It is what it…” (insert crushing of larynx here). Same for “At the end of the….

      • Pennsrant
        January 13, 2017 at 9:37 am

        Let me add: “at this moment” when discussing the past, and “wow factor.” Wow has a factor? Huh. Who knew?? I’m not even getting into “your” “you’re,” and “yore.” Don’t get me going…

  • Former Atholian
    January 12, 2017 at 10:41 am

    The creatures that inhabit that town amaze me. Being a former resident just the mention of the street and you know the rest of the story will be no bueno.

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