Hoodrat Heroes

Auburn Mall Parking Lot Jr. Hoodrat Fight Elicits Epic Commentary From Thug Life Websterites In 100 Emoji Pajamas

Auburn Mall Parking Lot Jr. Hoodrat Fight Elicits Epic Commentary From Thug Life Websterites In 100 Emoji Pajamas

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You can tell the local gutterslugs are cleaning up their acts when they decide to stop fighting inside the Auburn Mall and start fighting in the parking lot instead:

Looks like this future astronaut stopped at the food court for a slice of menstrual pie:

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And since when do junior hoodrat gangstas wear skinny jeans? How is this a thing now? Back in the day anyone who dressed like this wasn’t taken seriously. Because the only ones who wore tapered jeans were the nerdlingers whose moms took them on shopping sprees at Maurice the Pantsman.

Anyway this all came to our attention when it was broadcast on Facebook Live:

And I’m sure if we spoke gutterslug we would probably agree with the post-fight analysis:

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The “n word took a two piece and a biscuit?” Where Turtleboy comes from that means you got the value meal at KFC. Not sure what that means in junior hoodrat, but it sounds important.

Then this guy emerged from the mean streets of Shepherd Hill after someone made a joke about the Puerto Rican fabio from the video:

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Uh-oh!! Sounds serious. And Nate ToSwavey is a real G.






Because everyone knows the REAL G’s only shop at American Eagle


And take their girlfriend’s apple picking at Tougas Farm.


Thug Life!!!

And his comment led to a respectful and dignified conversation about the merits of “south side”

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Tim Rochette is not messing around. You don’t disrespect Websterites who claim to be in a gang. Especially when they’re rocking $1 bill shirt, and a killer Voke-stache full of bacon grease and broken dreams


Or when their headware of choice is the official uniform of dooshnozzles everywhere


Or if they wear 100 emoji pajamas.


You simply don’t disrespect gangstas like this on a Facebook Live video of some junior hoodrats playing slappy tag in the Auburn Mall parking lot.



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44 Comment(s)
  • Looking around
    March 1, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    And of course he’s got his hand in his pajama pants searching…trying to find it…but he won’t…because it isn’t there.

  • Publius
    March 1, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    At first glance we thought the long haired bloody one was a little girl who somehow lost her shirt in the slapping match.

  • Mauricethepantsman
    March 1, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    What’s that kid drinking? Apple schnapps ? Haaaaaa Liteweight little pukes.

  • Independent Thinker
    March 1, 2017 at 7:12 am

    Just goes to show you that the wrong people are breeding. That’s why I am an abortion proponent. This is also why law-abiding citizens need to be armed.

  • bird
    February 28, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    These assholes are just bitch ass fags.

  • ElJefe72
    February 28, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    One the one hand, these kids make me weep for the future of our country. On the other hand, my two boys will be competing with these dooshnozzles in the job market and the real world. Guess who’s going to win?

    • I hate stupid people.
      February 28, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      I feel the same way. Just teach your kids Gun Control means using BOTH hands. They should be all set.

  • Del Griffith
    February 28, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    These fine upstanding young citizens define their town’s nickname “Web-duh”.

  • Pork
    February 28, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    The lot of you need lives.

    • Brian Albrecht
      February 28, 2017 at 5:39 pm

      OH YEAH PORK!! FUCK YOU!! You think you’re tough? I’ll hit you left, right, boom, boom…you be prayin to allah. Then I’ll start porkin you in the ass you homo! What? You think I’m gay you FAGGOT? Just cuz I wanna get them chocolate swirls on my dick? Think again son!


  • Uncle Sam
    February 28, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    Bring back the military draft for teens, male and female. At least it would get some of them off the streets, for how long ?

    • light em up
      March 1, 2017 at 9:57 am

      I agree. If you are not in college and getting passing grades, and you aren’t in the work force, then mandatory military. Any branch. Or the Peace Corps. Anything to get these vagabonds off the streets and learning how to be human.

  • Brian Albrecht
    February 28, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    I have those exact same jammies with the 100 emoji, but mommie bought me pink ones.


  • Baraque Hussein Obongo
    February 28, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    It should be made legal to use Hoodrats for target practice

  • Publius
    February 28, 2017 at 4:40 pm

    Not sure what is worse this mini hoodrats or the Mashpee bunch. Looks like Ghetto is cool in Webta too.

  • Mike Hawk
    February 28, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Per urban dictionary two piece and a biscuit is left and right followed by a punch to the stomach

    • Lyle "Chip" Chipperson
      February 28, 2017 at 2:42 pm

      My favorite urban dictionary definition…

      An act of recreational fun where a person takes off their pants and underwear, does a handstand on a near-by wall and shits explosive diarrhea into the air, causing it to rain down one’s body like a chocolate dessert fountain.

      “Wow. That party last night was insane. Did you hear Travis got caught teffting in the bathroom?”

      “What? Seriously?”

      “Yep. Shit all over himself. It was amazing.”

      • Brian Albrecht
        February 28, 2017 at 5:27 pm

        I did that shit and it was like the chocolate wonderfall at Golden Corral.

  • ADdm
    February 28, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    I don’t get it. Why is Auburn Mall – the suburban shopping center that I used to enjoy going to as a kid – now attracting so much low-life garbage there? Is this what its fate is going to be to the remaining thriving Mall in the Worcester Metro area? I seriously hope it doesn’t close up – especially since this crap will end up spreading to the nearby Blackstone Valley Shoppes.

    • paul
      February 28, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      Its Auburn, they are a chapter 90 department. They are not interested in anything that doesnt generate revenue

    • Lt Dan
      February 28, 2017 at 3:36 pm

      The losers you remember being there when you were young…These are their offspring.

    • Maggie the Cat
      February 28, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      ADdm, this crap will spread. It has spread already, from the Greendale Mall to the Auburn Mall, and there have been “incidents” at the Shoppes at Blackstone Valley.

      • Wabbitt
        February 28, 2017 at 6:18 pm

        Greendale was nice until the Galleria closed. It’s like the shitheads just migrate to the next mall.

  • Wabbitt
    February 28, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Is there anything sadder than scrawny white boys from the suburbs dropping N-bombs?

  • Lt Dan
    February 28, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    Don’t drag Maurice The Pants Man into this. Between the sidewalk sale and Charlie’s Surplus down the street my parents could clothe me for 6 bucks per outfit

    • Wabbitt
      February 28, 2017 at 6:16 pm

      Hey – Maurice the Pants MAN had more than pants.

    • True Reality Speaks
      True Reality Speaks
      February 28, 2017 at 8:46 pm

      Jesus – going to Maurice’s was living large. We had to settle going to the Mart on Main Street or The Fair (see how many here remember those places!).

      • I hate stupid people.
        February 28, 2017 at 8:54 pm

        Only the generation that is not full of butt hurt SJW’s. I knew all of the places listed. How about Caldoor or Zares?

      • Lt Dan
        February 28, 2017 at 9:07 pm


  • Diane Woods emerson
    February 28, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    Drop a few off in the valley, watch how quickly their grammar returns to normal as they are running for w boylston st while 100% pissing themselves. I would pay to see that!

    • X
      February 28, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Drop dead, you whint bitch!!

  • I hate stupid people.
    February 28, 2017 at 1:42 pm

    They should take these “Niggass” and drop them off in Great Brook Valley or maybe in Chicago and let’s see how 100% 100% 100% they really are.

  • Not Josh Crombie
    February 28, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    I seen Crombie in the Facebook chat…. Which one Josh or his sister? Will they make another appearance in Turtleboy? It’s coming full circle Webster.

    • Wabbitt
      February 28, 2017 at 2:17 pm

      Webster’s just small enough that all of the shit heads know each other.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    February 28, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    I really think everyone needs to speak a slightly more understandable form of English. I don’t even think THEY know what they are talking about. And everyone needs to stop calling each other the N word, it not only sounds stupid coming from a crackhead white boy or girl, it’s still derogitory all the way around. You sound stupid as in uneducated and in smart, you write stupid as in uneducated and just stupid, you act untamed and stupid, so stop acting so fucking stupid. People want to say all kinds of things are ruining our country/world, Facebook and these punk ass kids are going to be the downfall of intelligent society. If everyone , all colors, races, religions etc. stood up against STUPID I think we could have a slightly better chance of not having the entire free world going to shit. The rest is within our own homes and neighborhoods, policing our own kids and policing our communities. It really would not be that hard to fix some of the stupid.

    • TheRealZephyrCat
      February 28, 2017 at 1:46 pm

      Right, but these kids weren’t raised by their parents (God knows where they are). They’re raised by TV, Music in all its worst forms, Hollywood trash & weak educators. People laughed when they were told communists were still trying to take the country down with a generational culture of pure shit! Well, here we are. While everyone was busy chasing toys, these fuckers raised your kids! And that’s where we’re at. Now what?? Cuz I have no clue.

    • I hate stupid people.
      February 28, 2017 at 1:48 pm

      If any of my kids acted like that….. For the love of god when the fuck did it become cool to be a gangster wannabe? I wish it was legal to go give stupid people the smack upside the head that they needed. Maybe when people from my generation make it into positions of power we can fix the laws and make it unsafe to be a fuckin waste of oxygen. See what happens when you don’t discipline your kids? They turn into shit stains on society.

    • Lola
      February 28, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      I seriously cannot understand most of what is posted in the TBS blogs! It’s like their own made-up language, full of foul curse words and derogatory slurs. Makes me sad for the future of mankind.

    • X
      February 28, 2017 at 5:00 pm

      Derogatory, shut your ass up you privileged douche!!

  • UsualSuspect
    February 28, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    What is with all the pube face? If you can’t grow it, shave it, or put a little milk on it and let the cat lick it off. Bad ass pube face, WTF! I suppose it identifies those low IQ shitstains for the rest of us, if only they can be targeted for extermination, we will be making progress.

  • TheRealZephyrCat
    February 28, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    Is it a gang thing now to take off part of your finger at the knuckle? These poor guys got some fucked up hands. That’s why they can’t work. Must be on disability.

    • Duke Westwood
      February 28, 2017 at 1:34 pm

      Arth-to-the-ritis mutha fuckah…

      February 28, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      Yo Zeph, sorry I’m late. Yo, I been missing most the day because I was at this mall fight. I was mixin it up hammering muthafuckas. But then I got jumped and pulled behind a dumpster and, well, long story short, I ended up getting alot of meat jammed into my dumpster. I can’t talk long cuz I gotta change the sanitary pad I got on my asshole. Be back when I’m done you pussys.

    • Troio
      February 28, 2017 at 5:36 pm

      i’m literally pissing my pants right now. back in my day you have to at least have a muscle in your body and way over 100 pounds to be considered tough

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