Hoodrat Heroes

Belligerent Drunken Dipshit Smokes Utility Pole With His ’06 Impreza, Pisses in Dartmouth PD Trash Can, Smashes Own Head Against Wall And Flips Off The Camera For His Mugshot In Epic OUI Arrest Meltdown

Belligerent Drunken Dipshit Smokes Utility Pole With His ’06 Impreza, Pisses in Dartmouth PD Trash Can, Smashes Own Head Against Wall And Flips Off The Camera For His Mugshot In Epic OUI  Arrest Meltdown

Loading...

 

 

Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:




 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship.

 

From The Dartmouth Police Department:

“DARTMOUTH, MA – On Saturday, November 10, 2018 at approximately 5:24 p.m., Dartmouth Police, and other emergency personnel, responded to the area of #104 Chase Road for a motor vehicle vs. utility pole crash.

Upon arrival officers had to immediately shut traffic down, as the utility pole was severed as a result of the impact. Also at this time, officers identified the operator of the involved 2006 Subaru Impreza as Keith AVILA, 34, of Sycamore Street, New Bedford, Massachusetts.

From the onset of making contact with police, AVILA was described as being “belligerent.”

As a result of the corresponding investigation that took place, AVILA was placed under arrest.

Upon arrival at Dartmouth Police Headquarters, AVILA threatened officer/s, vandalized town property, struck his own head against a bathroom wall, and urinated in a trash can while handcuffed to the booking room wall.

AVILA was subsequently charged with operating under the influence of liquor, a marked lanes violation, negligent operation of a motor vehicle, having an open container of liquor in a motor vehicle, intimidation of a witness and vandalism. In addition, AVILA also received a town by-law violation for having an open container of marijuana in a motor vehicle.

Though AVILA stated that he was not injured as a result of the crash (or striking his own head against the wall), he was evaluated by EMS personnel and refused further medical treatment.”

 

 

 

No way, I don’t believe it. Does bearded Aaron Rodgers over here have the face of a man who would headbutt a concrete wall on purpose and piss into a trash can while handcuffed to a booking wall?

 

Where did his parents go wrong? He looks like he was a really nice kid who totally never googled “how to build a pressure cooker bomb” because his mom took too long bringing him a hotpocket and interrupted his World Of Warcraft campaign.

Obviously he’s a violent belligerent drunk who could have killed someone with his little sister’s (presumably) ’06 Impreza, and made for a shitty evening for the booking officers. And grabbing yourself an OUI arrest at 5:24pm doesn’t give the impression of a man going places other than head-first into a utility pole. But damn if this guy doesn’t commit. From the moment he gets cuffed straight through to his mug shot, this guy does not give even one faint fuck. He went full on agro-drunk and never stepped back down, which makes for a really shitty criminal to arrest but a fantastic one to read about. I’d like to think it’s that commitment to psychopathic boozed-fueled rage that earned him one “free muh boi” in the comments:

 

Yup, don’t call him a loser. He just crashed his shitty compact car into a pole drunk at 5:24 in the evening and went Full Metal Jacket on the cops who arrested him. He’s a really good guy just going through a tough time. Don’t worry, Chris. Some bleeding heart “compassionate” judge will take pity and release your raging boner buddy out on $40 PR in no time.

 

 

 

Loading...
10 Comment(s)
  • Judge dread
    November 14, 2018 at 12:25 am

    He will be the next state senator in 6 years.

  • Juan from Lawrence
    November 12, 2018 at 7:55 pm

    At least he had the courtesy to piss in a trash can. He could have pissed all over a bench or the floor. One other thing, he appears white, didn’t know any white people lived in new beffa, could be a portagee, jury is still out on this.

    • King Philip V of Spain
      November 12, 2018 at 11:33 pm

      He’s not white. Neither is George Zimmerman or Carlos Mencia.

      The only white Hispanics trace back to Spain. You probably won’t see many in this lifetime. They’re to embarrassed to go to America because of the non-whites who happen to speak Spanish.

      • Montezuma
        November 13, 2018 at 8:34 am

        Told you we’d get you back, assholes. And I didn’t mean by getting the shits.

  • Dick Hertz from Holden
    November 12, 2018 at 6:55 pm

    stupidu bought a Subaru

  • Spanish Caravan
    November 12, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    “Avila”.

    Another spic showing his best side to society. I’m so happy that there are several thousands more of them on the way to the border.

  • Scott
    November 12, 2018 at 2:06 pm

    “Shitty compact car”

    Depends on the Impreza. If this was an STI that would be tragic.

    • Jim
      November 12, 2018 at 2:59 pm

      shitty compacted car

  • Steak Carpaccio
    November 12, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    Every single shitbag friend of the offender always makes the same five arguments…..

    “You don’t know him”
    “He’s going through a rough part of his life right now”
    “He’s a good person”
    “People make mistakes”
    “Thankfully, no on got hurt”

    TB…makes tee-shirts with these , call them the FREE MAH BOI series!!!

    • T cop
      November 12, 2018 at 8:17 pm

      You left out “Only God can judge…”

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It